Why I Blog and What Social Media Means for Me

I am a part of the way through something I am working on this summer that is causing me to have no time to follow the over 500 Facebook pages whose news appears on my feed on a daily basis that takes, easily, up to 4 hours a day to read through.  Reading everything in my Facebook feed requires me to be on Facebook on my commute to and from work (about 1 hour each way), plus 2 or so hours after I put my daughter to bed each night.  I’m fairly certain that all my Facebook friends–at least those that have NOT hidden me from their feeds–are relieved at not having to see every single time I Like a post with a Global setting (thank you, Mark Zuckerberg, for this ridiculousness).  Ha!

A couple of friends recently asked me if I plan to cut back from Facebook on a permanent basis, like I did with Twitter a couple years ago because that became too time consuming (and I was getting tired of the cliquey snark and popularity contests that left a bad taste in my mouth….and I don’t have time for that sh*t), and as a full-time employee with a long commute to/from work each day, I found it impossible to keep up with it.  At this point, I do not know.  I will have to see how it goes.  I must say, though, that it is so freeing not to have to feel like I MUST get through everything in my news feed every single day!  More time to do what I have to do.  Less stress.

A couple of friends also asked me if I planned to keep up blogging, to which I indicated that I will always keep up my blogging and advocacy for maternal mental health and anti-bullying.  They indicated it seems I have reached the end of my journey of documenting and processing my emotions and experiences that occurred before, during and after I had my daughter. But I told them that I will always need an outlet and I will always be passionate and outspoken about these two topics.  And after all, the origin of the word “blog” came from web log:  an online journal or diary, a means to get one’s thoughts and feelings out and at the same time sharing with individuals who can appreciate your posts.

I may not have amassed that large of a following, but what I do know is that I am reaching people on a daily basis who find me via certain key words.  I am content knowing that I continue reaching and helping others feel less alone with their experiences and I continue to spread awareness so fewer new moms will go through what I went through…..the original intent of this blog.

I am not using social media for popularity purposes.  In fact, on Facebook I choose to keep a very small circle of Facebook “friends.”  I limit this small circle to those I know IRL (in real life) or with whom I have corresponded regularly online for a certain length of time and with whom I feel very like-minded.  And if I know the person IRL, I have to have a positive relationship with that person (this is pretty logical, no?).

I’m not blogging strictly to see how many Likes or Shares I can get or friends I can make.  If that were the sole purpose, I would’ve stopped a long time ago.  Despite the fact that I have been blogging for over 5 years and people still haven’t heard of my blog–even in the field of maternal mental health–and certain individuals who used to support my blog but don’t any longer, I am going to keep on doing what I’m doing.

I’ve said this in previous posts that my blogging style (as straightforward, down to earth, genuine, no BS, and “what you see is what you get” as you’ll ever come across….which reflects the kind of person I am IRL) isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay.  Everyone is different. I am staying true to myself.

I care about new moms who feel as lost as I did when I first had my baby.

I care about teens who get bullied.

That is all.

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4 thoughts on “Why I Blog and What Social Media Means for Me

  1. Great post!!! I agree with you in terms of your philosophy and enjoyed reading this piece very much. When I relapsed with postpartum bipolar depression, I shut down my Facebook account. When I recovered I decided to re-open it I wished to only be FB friends with those I had steady contact with IRL, or through longtime online contact. Although I got some flak from so-called “friends”, I knew it was definitely the right decision.

    I have a small blog following. I’ll never be a mega-blogger, but I’ve come to terms with it and what matters is helping other people, plain and simple. That’s not to say that envy doesn’t rear its nasty head from time-to-time when I encounter a famous blogger in the same field of interest. It does! :( But I move on and keep writing and doing all the other things that make me feel good.

    In helping new mothers who feel lost along with teens who’ve been bullied, you’re doing a truly great service! Thank you for making our world a better place, one post at a time, and for being yourself. :)

    take care,
    Dyane

    • Hi Dyane,
      Thanks for taking the time to read my post and leave a comment! :) I never aspired to be a mega blogger. Nor have I ever felt any blog envy, because I know my true intent is to do just as I said in my blog post I wanted to do. What I don’t appreciate–and that’s between you and me (and whoever is even going to read this comment)–is when the mega bloggers ignore me. It wasn’t always like that. It’s like they’re on some kind of high from how big they’ve gotten in the past couple of years, and they have their groupie friends around them, to the point that whenever I post a comment in one of their comment threads, mine is the ONLY one that is ignored (not responded to and/or not Liked). That’s pretty blatant exclusion, if you ask me! And so I have given up …what’s the point?

      Thank you for your kind, supportive words. Means a lot to me! :)
      Take care,
      Ivy

      • Hi again you awesome lady!

        That is a shame that the “big-head bloggers” ignored you – that is SO not cool in my book! From reading your blog religiously since I subscribed, I gather you aren’t the type to “give up”. You have “released” these people to the wind & the good news is that you can divert your talents and energy elsewhere….to a much better place….and guess what? It’s THEIR supreme loss! (By the way, thank you for your candor in sharing this yucky experience. I love your honesty – its refreshing!)

        I’ve blogged about the fact that if I was a biggie blogger with posts receiving hundreds of comments/likes, I wouldn’t have time to enjoy the give-and-take with my readers. I really mean that, as the comments are what drives me to blog in (big) part.

        I am so glad that you appreciated my comment and that you took the time to write back a great response. I’ll continue to be a loyal follower of your blog – I only wish I discovered it earlier!

        I wish you a wonderful week, dear Ivy!
        Dyane :)

        • Hi again, fellow awesome lady! :)
          I TRULY appreciate your reading my blog posts. I did notice your liking all my posts since our paths crossed…THANK YOU!!! :)

          To skip my comment in a not necessarily long string of comments is a pretty blatant act, IMO, of showing they don’t really care about you and prefer you to stop existing in a circle that they clearly don’t want you to be a part of….such a exclusion tactic is a type of bullying…esp when it is completely unwarranted. Like, what in the world did I do to deserve this?

          Everyone is different, like I indicated in my post….there are those who will never be swayed, so even if they become “big” they will never forget the relationship they’ve had with people even before they became “big” and developed a groupie following. I’ve never belonged to a clique, as I don’t really believe in them. I believe you should be friends with whomever life brings your way and as long as there is a sharing of attitudes, beliefs, goals, feelings, etc., regardless of whether you are part of a specific clique or not.

          And I have to sincerely apologize for not following all your posts as loyally as you have been following mine. :( My time is truly zapped these days. When I finish what I’m doing, I promise to get caught up!

          Your posts and comments have been awesome. Again, I want to say how thankful I am to know you!

          Have a lovely week!
          Ivy

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