Since its release, the movie “Inside Out” has helped put emotional health on the front burner of discussions and will hopefully make it a lot easier for families to talk about emotions on a regular basis. This movie was, quite simply, brilliant in going somewhere no other film for children has ever gone (at least none that I’m aware). Why? Cuz emotions and mental health are topics that people have historically tiptoed about as if they were walking on eggshells. It’s time we extracted our heads from out of the hole of ignorance, taboo and stigma. There ain’t nothin’ about emotions and mental health that should warrant keeping our heads buried like that. Nothin’ at all……….
I sincerely believe that “Inside Out” can be instrumental in helping children to better understand their emotions and realize that feeling sad is just as critical as feeling happy, it’s NORMAL to feel negative emotions like sadness and anger, and all emotions should be expressed rather than suppressed. A good way to express/release/process your emotions is to talk about them or even write about them.
I’ve found that many adults have enough challenges in understanding/coping with/expressing/releasing/processing their own emotions, let alone help their children understand/cope/express/release/process theirs. And thus the critical need for resources from experienced professionals that are abundantly available out there. You just need to know how to find them.
I have mentioned one invaluable resource for girls in previous posts, and I want to bring it up again today. It’s Girls Leadership. Although the focus of my blog is on maternal mental health and mothers were all young girls at one point–all too many of whom have faced issues early in life that pave the way to the adults they are today–the information within the Girls Leadership articles below applies to boys as well. If you are a parent of a girl, read through the website’s posts on a wide variety of topics, including confidence, identity, body image, books, school, friendships, role models, and conflict. What a difference it would’ve made to me while growing up if such resources had been available to my mother, if I had had a better relationship with my mother, if I had had a network of support, and if I had had a mentor in my life. Speaking of mentor, “How to Find a Mentor” by Joanne Wilson on July 2, 2015 is a must read! The Girls Leadership posts I ran across in the past couple of weeks are:
- Emotional Intelligence Workout: respecting/expressing your feelings critical to development of emotional intelligence (EI)
- Removing the Stigma: understanding/talking about /seeking help for mental illness, which applies to 11% of teenagers by the time they hit 18; girls more susceptible than boys
- A Powerful New Tool for Girls’ Courage & Confidence: Self-Compassion: practicing mindfulness and self-compassion rather than self-destructive thinking
I want to bring particular attention to the 3rd post because it highlights issues all too many girls face, which are explained in such an on-point fashion in this post the likes of which I have not seen anywhere else to date:
- tendency to dwell / fixate on their problems rather than realize/following through on solutions
- tendency to feel more shame / self hatred than boys
- tendency to feel the need to “fit in” and they are thus more easily influenced by social media, which appeal to girls more than boys. Social media sites, such as Instagram and Facebook (which I will not allow my daughter to access until she can drive), are just another way to make girls feel more isolated and bad about themselves because these sites, for the most part, only provide glimpses of the positive moments in other people’s lives. Let me illustrate. My Facebook circle is a rather small one compared to other people’s circles. Of this circle less than 50% are considered active (i.e., log on, post, like and comment at least a few times a week). Of my active Facebook friends, only about 5% post things that are truly accurate reflections of what’s going on in their minds and lives….like me. I say what’s on my mind without sugar coating anything. Of the remaining 95% or so of the active posters, you’ll see the accomplishments, smiling faces, and all is fine-and-dandy posts / pictures (with a couple people doing it more regularly than others). It’s these kinds of posts that can influence young girls–ones with the tendency to dwell/fixate on problems, feel bad about themselves, and feel like the one priority in life is fitting in/belonging–into comparing themselves with others and believing that everyone else is living much better and happier lives. Hence, the “why me, my life sucks” mindsets. These sites are just as anti-social as they are “social” because rather than encouraging face-to-face interactions, they make you believe that interaction limited to the Internet is all you need to be “social.”
You may wonder how all this has anything to do with postpartum depression (PPD). It’s important to remember that many cases of depression surface during the teenage years and follow you throughout life. One of the primary risk factors of PPD is a history of depression. I delve into relevant statistics and risk factors in my book. And you may be interested in checking out my prior posts relating to teenage years.
- The #1 Killer of Teen Girls Worldwide
- Disturbing Teenage Trend: Hey Stranger Do You Think I’m Ugly
- Nature Versus Nurture in Relation to PPD
- PMS versus PMDD
- Bullying and Suicide…Teen Angst and Depression
- The Mental Cost Behind a Nomadic Childhood Experience
- Depression and Teen Suicides…It Will Get Better
- You are Perfect to Me, Says the Parent to the Child