I wasn’t going to post until after the AFSP Out of the Darkness walk, but I wanted to just quickly say a few words on a topic near and dear to my heart: Mommy wars and breastfeeding zealots.
Let me start off by saying this:
- Women supporting women ≠ women verbally attacking other women for choosing how they would like to raise their children, including how to feed them
- Women supporting women = proactively doing something to promote the wellbeing of other women through S-U-P-P-O-R-T (e.g., help with baby, help around the house, providing social/emotional support in person, by phone or online, doula services, lactation support)
I find it highly ironic that women who purport to have women and their babies’ interests at heart via radical views on breastfeeding and a fetus’ right to life, while also being the first to attack other women for common-sense notions that are moderate in nature and don’t align with theirs. They will lunge at you (imagine a monster with glowing red eyes, sharp teeth and claws) whenever they–and I have to laugh about this–stumble across a blog like mine and think that I don’t have other women and babies’ interests at heart and call my blog a disservice to others and the mere fact that my blog is recognized by others in the mental health and women’s health communities as atrocious.
Unlike these fanatical individuals, I’m moderate. I’m right down the middle. I’m objective. I’m logical. I’m empathic. I’m considerate. I look at the COMPLETE picture. I have no extreme, one-sided, I-don’t-care-about-other-people’s-circumstances-I-only-care-about-my-own, narrow-minded, holier-than-thou, views. Bottom line, I have no time for bullshit like this.
I GET that breastfeeding is good. Did I ever say on my blog that it wasn’t? If you find any indication on my blog that I’m anti-breastfeeding, then I welcome you to please show me. I totally welcome you to try.
I will also be right down the middle when it comes to abortions. There is never one right answer for the reasons people need to have abortions. And I absolutely abhor it when I see people who have no clue about what others are going through making their holier-than-thou claims that anyone who has one–whether it be to save their own lives or consequences of rape/incest–is automatically committing a sin. Again, who are you to judge this? Who made you judge and jury? Everyone has beliefs, but let your beliefs guide you in your OWN life, not OTHER PEOPLE’S lives. Other people’s lives and how they choose to live them from the circumstances with which they are faced (remember that sometimes things get really ugly for people out of no fault of theirs) is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
There are WAY TOO MANY people who have nothing better to do than judge other people and try to take pot shots at them for the oddest of reasons. WAY TOO MANY. Like the extremely conservative, far right, narrow-minded, religiously fanatical to the point of obsession ways of thinking trolls that pop out from under their figurative bridge anytime there is anything like breastfeeding or abortions in the headlines.
So when I run into women who claim to support other women that make claims like “Oh, I support all moms who breastfeed and everyone else be damned” (and I don’t care what their situation is, I just know that I’m right and they’re wrong), I WANT TO GAG. And I very much wish I could press a “Make that troll disappear” button to make them go away.
Women supporting other women does not mean you go and attack others simply for not thinking, behaving and having the same exact circumstances as you. Because guess what? Each person is a unique individual with genes and life experiences that make them who they are. We do not live in a Stepford Wives world. Wake the f$ck up.