I am shaken by the suicides of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade. Very shaken. Although I was never much of a fan of Kate Spade’s hand bags, shoes, clothing and jewelry, I was a pretty big fan of Anthony Bourdain’s for the simple fact that he brought very different people together around the world through an appreciation, respect, and curiosity of the vast array of cuisines and cultures.
These very successful individuals that you never once heard had any issues with depression or other mental health issues are suddenly taking their own lives. I’ve seen comments that there are so many veteran suicides each day. Don’t they matter? Well, everyone matters……
Young people matter.
Old people matter.
Why are we making such a big deal out of these celebrities? For one, you see them on television, in newspapers, on the news, etc. When you see them, do you ever see them depressed? Unhappy? Nope. Do you ever hear about them being depressed? Unhappy? In Kate’s and Anthony’s situations, I do not believe there has ever been any mention of any struggles with depression. I truly hope that the good that comes from these recent, high profile suicides that took place one after another–all in less than a week’s time–is a greater understanding that you can’t base the well-being of a person on looks, societal status, race, and religion alone. People may have a history of mental illness and you would never know by looking at them.
Poor people have mental health issues.
Rich people have mental health issues.
Outgoing people have mental health issues.
Shy people have mental health issues.
Self confident people have mental health issues.
People lacking self confidence have mental health issues.
People of every race have mental health issues.
People of every religion have mental health issues.
[Don’t kid yourself if you believe the above statements are not true.]
The other thing I keep seeing is something that totally pisses me off. People bad-mouthing the deceased with “Suicide is selfish.” How the heck would you even know what they were going through? They could have been battling so much pain for so many years, but how would you know? Tell me, because I would love to know. Are you like an alien and can take over the person’s body so you can know exactly how that person is feeling? This reminds me of a previous post that I want to bring up again here. All it takes is one day for you to know the extent of suffering that a person experiences. I wish the haters and people passing judgment could walk in the shoes of a person battling bipolar disorder, PTSD, and depression. After you go through that experience, then let’s talk. Until then….SHUT. UP.
What’s truly behind the surface can only be determined if we sit down and spend time with them. So, think about your circle of friends–not all thousand people that may be in your FB circle cuz, let’s face it, not everyone in that circle is truly a friend–and create a list of people you haven’t spoken to, heard from and/or seen in a while. And arrange to meet them over a meal, and if not a meal, then coffee. Or invite them over to your house. Or visit them at their home. Whatever you do should facilitate a conversation. A real conversation. A good ol’ fashioned in-person chat. No social media. No texting. No emails. The way it was in the good ol’ days before all this “social media” got in the way of forging true relationships. That’s what we need more of.
Which brings me to this….as it seems society has degenerated thanks to social media that we now need people to create places like Sip of Hope, just to have a place where people can (truly) talk.
I saw a video on my Facebook feed, posted by a Facebook page called Well-Rounded Life a couple days ago about the brand new coffee shop, Sip of Hope, that opened at Logan Square, Chicago, last month during mental health awareness month. Sip of Hope is run by Hope for the Day, founded by Jonny Boucher. Here’s the link to the Chicago Tribune article that talks about what the coffee shop hopes to accomplish. Hope for the Day is a Chicago not for profit that aims to raise awareness around suicide prevention and mental illness. All proceeds will go to Hope for the Day. It presents a unique approach of opening up a coffee shop for the purpose of allowing people to come in and talk, as well as eliminate stigma of mental health issues. Baristas double as mental health aides. There are pamphlets/flyers containing info on local mental health resources.
Good on ya, Jonny Boucher, for coming up with this idea and having it come true. I sincerely hope this coffee shop stays open for a very long time, and other Sip of Hopes will open across the country until every major city has one!
Below is the video that was on CBS News before the grand opening: