A Reminder to New Moms: Get Outside As Much As You Can

If you’re a new mom and seeing this blog post, then I’m glad, cuz this post was written with you in mind!

There is a reason–actually, reasons–why people say you need to get outside as much as you can after you’ve recovered from childbirth.

Sunlight is good for you.
Click here for a post about the benefits of sunlight.

PLUS

Fresh air and exercise are good for you.  Being cooped up is NOT good for you.  
Refer to my past post “3 Pieces of Basic Advice for the New Mom.”
Exercise can be as simple as walking around your neighborhood (or in a mall in bad weather) to get that circulation going…and of course, brisk walking is better and once you feel up to it, jogging  is great for burning some of the pregnancy weight off.  Being cooped up paves the way to increased feelings of isolation, which feeds depression, negative thoughts and even a bit of agoraphobia–all of which happened to me when I got hit at 6 weeks postpartum with PPD.  I’m not saying that being cooped up for long periods of time will definitely lead to depression, negative thoughts and agoraphobia, but nothing good comes out of seclusion after you’ve had a baby. We are social beings that need a certain amount of interaction with others.  Just being around people, but not necessarily interacting to a great degree with any particular person(s), has its benefits.  Social support is a whole other matter that I’ve blogged about a lot in the past.

Of course, all this stuff is purely common sense, but with the whirlwind that makes up the first postpartum weeks, a first-time mother that doesn’t have a baby expert (doula or relative) helping out will need these reminders that self care is just as important as baby care.  If you’re anything like the overwhelmed and exhausted wreck that I was after I left the hospital 7 days after I gave birth and experienced childbirth complications, the basic necessity of getting outside will fall by the wayside all too easily.

By doing this for you, you are also doing this for the baby.

A healthy mom means a healthy baby.

 

 

ONE MOM’S REFLECTION FOR MOTHER’S DAY

This is a post a mom wanted to share on my blog anonymously.  Thank you, mama, for sharing your experience!  ❤ ❤ ❤

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To think of moments like this that I would have missed had I just given up. If I had let the mental illness win.

After my twins my postpartum depression/postpartum anxiety (PPD/PPA) was severe.

Paralyzed by a sudden sense of worthlessness, hopelessness and fear of everything, I panicked.

Intrusive thoughts told me I was not good enough and that my kids were better off without me. I told my husband to leave me. I was scared to touch the twins for fear I would somehow hurt them or that I was ruining them.

This was at the time I felt it in my heart and soul something was majorly wrong with G and I blamed it on myself.

I was overwhelmed with two colicky twins. They cried all the time and I felt like a failure that I couldn’t soothe them. Fast forward they have sensory issues G with autism and S with ADHD. they have had a very hard time regulating themselves and have come a long, long way.

If I could wish one thing for all mothers is that please don’t blame yourselves.

Be mindful. Baby yourself just like how you baby your children. Be kind to yourself.

I was beyond hard on myself and it took its toll. It left me fragile and fearful and broken.

But I’ve always been a fighter and I’ve done everything I could to power through that time and learn how to live all over again.

It began with loving myself.

In June 2013 I was so traumatized by the panic attacks that the panic made me want to end it all. I called an ambulance to come save me from myself. That day on I’ve only marched forward. I’m mindful to my surroundings. I don’t blame myself for the struggle that my babies have faced with their development.

I am an excellent mom. I am worth it. They are worth it. So much that I gave it all another chance when I had R knowing that I faced a chance of a relapse with PPD. But with incredible support I did it and I’m still doing it.

I love my sweet family, my friends, my life.

I believe in second, third, fourth chances.

There is always room for improvement and to make things better and life is very much worth living.

Everything that happens to us makes us stronger.

I will never hide what happened to me from my children, especially my daughters.

It’s okay to fall down.

What matters is we keep going and with a good heart.

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Happy Mother’s Day 2017

Dear Mama-

If you’re visiting my blog, I just want to let you know that you are not alone in your postpartum experience.

You may feel like you are alone.  But you aren’t.

I am a PPD survivor.  There are MANY PPD survivors.  I am here for you.  There are many PPD survivors out there for you.

I love analogies, and I’m going to use one here.  I have pansies outside on the deck that I never expected to make it all winter with the cold, snow and ice, but it DID make it.  I covered the plant with a plastic food container to prevent it from getting crushed by snow/ice and to protect it from the below-freezing temps and wind.  I visited it, touched the one or 2 flowers that endured during the winter, and spoke to them (never thought I’d ever be a flower whisperer, but here I am) as much as I could.

Here are the persistent pansies that failed to let the elements prevent them from standing tall.

And here are the pansies today!  

You will get through the sleepless nights due to your anxiety, insomnia, feelings of helplessness.  Just like the pansies surviving was doubtful, they were able to persist because they received care and support.

I made it, without even knowing that what I had was PPD.

I made it through with crappy bedside manner from both my OB and doctor.

I made it with no support from anyone else around me except for my husband. I’d never heard of anyone having PPD before.

I didn’t know about Postpartum Support International (PSI).

I wasn’t on the Internet much back then.  It was 2005. I wasn’t on Facebook or Twitter.

I wasn’t referred to any therapists who specialize in PPD.  I didn’t have a support group, either.

But I made it.  And YOU WILL TOO.

If you are reading this and you are suffering and don’t have any idea how to get help, please leave me a comment.  I will respond and try to help you find resources to help you get through this.  You can also go to the PSI website for phone and local resources.

There was a blog post from fellow PPD survivor, Andrea Bates, author of the blog “Good Girl Gone Redneck” featured on the PSI website on World Maternal Mental Health Day this past week that I want you to visit if you haven’t seen it already.  Please check it out.  She’s a wonderful writer.  I wish I could write like her.  She also wrote 3 blog posts leading up to Mother’s Day this past week that you should also check out.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mama!

Love,
Ivy
❤ ❤ ❤

The Fed is Best Onesie Drive – Now til May 13, 2017

I have previously blogged (click here and here) about the importance of a baby being fed….whether they are breastfed, bottle fed with pumped milk or formula, or a combination thereof–what matters is they are adequately fed. Period.

Partly because my focus has been on other things and also because it’s been over 11 years since I had my breastfeeding challenges, I haven’t blogged or even read any blog posts or articles on breastfeeding or the whole Breast is Best philosophy since, let’s see, two years ago (April 18, 2015 to be exact).  A couple of days ago, The Fed is Best Foundation reached out to me to see if I would be willing to blog about their fundraiser.  I told them I would be happy to, since the information they have to share is of extreme importance, and my mission is to help educate new mothers and their families to help reduce the risk of a postpartum mood disorder from occurring.

The Fed Is Best Foundation is a 501(c)(3) registered not-for-profit dedicated to the education and advocacy of safe infant feeding. The foundation believes no baby should ever go hungry and no mother should ever feel shamed for whatever feeding option best suits her situation, in order to prevent complications to babies that have become too common in today’s “Breast is Best” world. You can prevent such complications–and even tragic circumstances–with knowledge and support, which is what the foundation seeks to provide.

To help raise funds to support the foundation’s important work, it is hosting a Onesie Drive from now until May 13th, in which you can purchase a featured onesie at a special price!

Click here for more details about the drive on Facebook. Or click here for a direct link to the booster to order your onesie(s) today.  There will be a Photo Contest in June for all the adorable babies rocking Fed Is Best swag, so start thinking up poses for your precious baby!

If you hadn’t done so previously, please go over to the Fed is Best website to check out its links that provide:

1. The details of the personal experience of The Fed is Best co-founder Christie del Castillo-Hegyi, M.D. and her story as reflected in her letter to doctors and parents about the dangers of insufficient exclusive breastfeeding.
2. Helpful resources for parents, which I wish I had had access to when I was trying to breastfeed and suffered so many challenges that I’m sure contributed toward the postpartum depression I experienced.
3. An online petition to urge policymakers like the American Academy of Pediatrics, the CDC and Surgeon General–in addition to hospitals and doctors– to support and educate mothers and their families on safe, clinically-effective infant feeding protocols, and to preventing infant starvation as a result of current well-intended but rigid breastfeeding protocols.  The petition page contains a video about newborn dehydration and how to avoid disastrous consequences.
4. The Fed is Best in the news (links to articles)

5. About The Fed is Best: mission, co-founders and advocates and advisors

Thank you in advance for your support of this worthy cause!

Steve Bannon’s Ignorance on Mental Health

 *** This post may be triggering if you are suffering from postpartum depression (PPD) and are sensitive to negative news events***

Here I am, posting again….wow, it’s now 3x in one month.  I haven’t posted with such frequency in a long time.  Guess you can say the state of this country is heavy on my mind.  I had said in my last post that I wasn’t going to talk politics since this site is dedicated to maternal mental health.  I was planning to stick to that guideline.  But then I hit a snag in my plans, thanks to a post I read about Bannon, the individual that Trump has selected to be his chief strategist.  Bannon made a comment about mental health that triggered me so much it had me flashing back to the trigger that set me off on a 6-year journey to publish a book about my postpartum depression (PPD) experience.  What trigger is that?  Well, if you’ve been following my blog for some time and/or you read my author bio, you would know that Tom Cruise and his There’s no such thing as a chemical imbalance comment triggered me back in 2005.  But the outcome of the trigger was good, as I have my blog and book as the end result. And yes, I do thank TC in my Acknowledgments.

There’s nothing good about this trigger related to Bannon, though.  TC is just an ignorant actor. But Bannon is an ignorant white supremacist who will have a role in the White House and will have far more negative consequences than TC ever had.  Bannon made a statement that the cure for mental illness is to spank your children more.  Excuse me?  What.The.Fuck. (oops, forgot to use $ or other symbol to fill in for the “u” for the very first time…..there’s a first time for everything, as they say).  I’ve truly had it with this whole election.  I’ve had it with all the hatred, misogyny and bigotry.  With the cheeto about to become our President and the alt right using him as a tool to ensure there are at least 4 years of revenge for the 8 years they had to suffer under President Obama, they have populated the leadership team with known racists (Bannon, Sessions, Flynn) and ensuring that racism becomes the new normal.  My passion for matters related to racism stems from my being bullied as a child for my race.  But I’m not going to digress here (even though anti-bullying is my other passion)……

Note: If you’re a Trump follower trolling this blog post and thinking I’m bullying Bannon or Trump, then think again.  Bullying is DIRECT harassment to them personally.  I’m exerting my 1st amendment right voicing my thoughts on my own blog.  Thank you very much.

<directing myself back on track….>

Bannon, just like I’ve been wishing to tell Tom Cruise in person, I wish I could tell YOU in person, if you’ve never been through mental illness yourself, then:
Shut the f*ck up.  
Shut.Your.Ignorant.Mouth.Up.  

And get educated about mental illness and how it REALLY works.  It’s not mind over matter, you dimwit.  Take a few minutes to read a blog post that may help you see the light when it comes to PPD.  There are plenty of articles from health organizations and blog posts on the Internet for you to learn the TRUTH behind mental illness.  But I’m pretty sure you won’t bother to spend a second to read anything because you think you know it all, don’t you.

Here’s where, if I could be granted 3 genie wishes, one of them would be to make all haters/bigots switch places with the ones being hated and the ones who keep insisting that mental illness is mind over matter to switch places with those who are battling a mental illness (e.g., depression, PTSD, bipolar disorder, etc.).  You will learn in an instant that the logic you’ve been upholding is COMPLETELY WRONG.  See my past post on this titled “All It Takes Is One Day.”  One day to experience a mental illness yourself, firsthand……THAT’S ALL IT TAKES to snap you to reality and stop living in a world based on assumptions (that only make a$$es out of you).

And speaking of backwards, as women, we should not let ourselves be dragged backwards when it comes to our rights. We must stand up for ourselves and for each other.  We must work harder than ever to support organizations that will help us stay on track when it comes to mental health and women’s rights, especially during the time that women are most vulnerable–i.e., before, during and after childbirth.  Please join me in doing this!

If you’re a mom suffering from PPD right now, please be comforted in knowing that there are plenty of people in this country and around the world who care enough to make it a goal to help moms like you.  Please reach out to me, reach out to others with blogs, Facebook pages….we will help you get through this.

You WILL get through this.  I got through it stronger than ever before, and so can you!

Peace to you.

Honored to be Selected One of the Top Postpartum Depression Blogs of 2016 by Healthline

On November 4th, I was honored to be selected as one of the Top Postpartum Depression Blogs of 2016 by Healthline.  Thank you, Healthline, for this surprising recognition!

I haven’t blogged about it until now due to my trying to recover from the wind getting knocked out of me by Trump’s election. I’m going to keep my opinions to myself here, since this blog is not meant to be a sounding board for my political views.  Unfortunately, it is influencing me as a person and it is making me more determined than ever before to not lose sight of what’s important. What’s important is that we can’t let hate win, and women must band together and stand up for one another.

My mission to help other mothers will always be my mission. I had my daughter in 2004, suffered from postpartum depression in 2005, started this blog in 2009, published my book in 2011….and I am working on an initiative in New Jersey that I will happily share more about later.   I want to be more involved than I have been in the realm of maternal mental health.  I look forward to seeing what my future holds, but I won’t go about it passively.  I will continue in my blogging, helping mothers who reach out to me via my blog, and other PPD initiatives.  My hope is that we will continue the progress we’re making in maternal mental health advocacy and treatment (doulas, therapists, etc.).  In a world that has enough stressors as it is, we need to be there for one another.

For all those who have been following my blog, I truly hope it has helped you.  My blog has been a great satisfaction to me over the years, as it has enabled me to reach and help mothers around the world with what they are going through.

 

 

Help Her Get the Help She Needs

My first almost wordless blog post, ever. The words in this image say it all. It is an important message that we, as family members, friends, neighbors or even colleagues of new mothers, should take very seriously.  Permission to use this image granted by Karen Kleiman, MSW, LCSW, founder of The Postpartum Stress Center and author of numerous books on perinatal mood disorders.