What Hayden and Drew and These 8 Other Celebrity Moms Have in Common

I have to admit, I am a bit behind on blogging about current events that by now are no longer current in the literal sense, but will always be an important topic that should always discussed in as many media as possible–in person via conversations and in both online and print format.  Postpartum depression (PPD), or actually mental health, is a topic that must stay in mainstream news.  Experiences must be shared regularly everywhere if we want to clear away the stigma and misconceptions about PPD.

In the past few weeks, most if not all of us who keep abreast of news have heard about Hayden Panetierre’s struggle with PPD.  Click here for a video of her interview on “Live with Kelly and Michael” and here for a recording of a discussion about PPD on On Point with Tom Ashbrook that includes Dr. Samantha Meltzer-Brody (Director of the Perinatal Psychiatry Program at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill’s Center for Mood Disorders), Aimee Danielson (Director of the Women’s Mental Health Program in the Department of Psychiatry at MedStar Georgetown University Hospital), and Dr. Deborah Da Costa (Associate Professor in the Department of Medicine at McGill University in Montreal, Canada).  Realizing her condition was something that she needed professional help for, she checked herself into a facility to help with her recovery.

Ever since her role in Heroes, I have admired her.  I admired her even more when I learned she’s a huge marine wildlife activist and very much involved with Sea Shepherd.  I am passionate about marine wildlife and support Sea Shepherd.  And I admire her even more now that I know she’s struggled with PPD and realizes the urgency of spreading awareness and the great deal of stigma that is associated with PPD.

Coincidentally, right around the same time, Drew Barrymore opened up about her battle with PPD.

And then a few other articles popped up via Hollywood Reporter and US Magazine about other celebrity PPD survivors, like Brooke Shields, Marie Osmond, Bryce Dallas Howard and Gwyneth Paltrow–all of whom I’ve blogged previously about–plus Courteney Cox, Vanessa Lachey, Amanda Peet and Alanis Morissette.

I am truly grateful for these celebrity moms sharing with the public the fact that they struggled with a postpartum mood disorder (PMD).  By sharing their struggles it further shows that new mothers of all financial and social situations may experience a PMD.  One out of eight (or approximately 15-20%) of new mothers succumb to PPD.  PPD is experienced by women of all cultures, ethnicities, social statuses, and religions.  It’s primarily thanks to celebrities speaking up about their experiences that postpartum depression stories reach people far and wide.  It’s extremely challenging for the average mother’s story (like mine or any of the other mothers chosen for the A Plus article I blogged about last night) to get any attention, which is why–and I must reiterate from yesterday–I am so grateful that A Plus chose my story to share with its readership.

AFSP Out of the Darkness Walk on 10/25 in New York City

Suicide has claimed and continues to claim the lives of all too many people. Last month, the life of someone in the postpartum depression (PPD) community was lost to suicide. Her name was Naomi Knoles. I’ve previously walked to raise money for PPD. Now, I will be joining with thousands of people nationwide to talk in AFSP’s New York City Out of the Darkness Community Walk to benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

AFSP walk

I would appreciate any support that you give me for this very important cause.  Whether it be a donation (even $5 will help toward my goal of raising $888) or helping to spread the word (by spreading the word we are helping to combat stigma and generate more interest around the country and even the world to understand the suicide prevention challenges ahead of us), your help can help make a difference!

Based on the results of an AFSP poll, 55% of people have had people contemplate suicide, attempted suicide and/or know someone who died by suicide. With more than 39,000 people dying by suicide each year in the U.S. alone, we must do better in terms of the way we view mental health issues, increase mental health services, and train people to provide telephone and in-person support (whether they be paid staff or volunteers). Veterans, mothers, teens, etc……these individuals losing their struggles to suicide leave behind loved ones whose lives will never be the same.

Please click here to view my page and make a donation:  ‬http://afsp.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&participantID=846404.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Sincerest regards,


Help Me Finish the Sentence: Just Because She Doesn’t Look Depressed…..

A super duper quick post tonight, as I have had too many windows open on my PC and need to shut it down to give my PC a break…not to mention install some updates.  Before I shut my PC down tonight I need to briefly jump onto my soapbox and put my thoughts out into cyberspace about not making assumptions and not judging books by their covers.  These 2 thoughts combined and in the context of new mothers produces the following:

Don’t assume that a new mom wearing makeup and a smile is happy.  

How would you know better, then, you ask?  Well, the only way you’re going to know for sure is if you care enough to ask how a new mom is doing.  Take the time to have a chat with her and show you care. Look into her eyes when speaking.  Being the empath that I am, I can usually sense when something is a bit off with someone.  But I would most certainly confirm what my gut is telling me by talking to them.

I’ve also blogged about this previously (click here to read), but I do want to make sure you go over to Eve Canavan’s blog Small Time Mum and check out her blog post titled “You Can’t Be Depressed Dear, the Forestry Commission Don’t Have to Be Called to Trim Your Bush.” It’s a great post.

So, just because she (a new mom) doesn’t look depressed does NOT mean she is NOT depressed, and the only way you’re going to know is if you stop and ask how she’s doing and look her in the eyes.

Blue Light and PPD

Just a short blurb today to share an interesting Huffington post article on the connection of blue light with melatonin secretion (the hormone that induces sleep) and thus postpartum depression (PPD).  The title of the article is “The Connection Between Blue Light and Postpartum Depression” by Matt Berical.

I’ve always been fascinated in the biology behind PPD, in particular insomnia as a symptom, hence here I am popping onto my blog this July 4th weekend ever so quickly to blog.  I had previously blogged about blue light in my post from 2 years ago titled “Sleep is So Important, Especially to the New Mom.”  If insomnia is plaguing you on a antepartum (or prenatal) or postpartum (or postnatal) basis, or if you are an expectant mom who just wants to be in the know to reduce the chances of PPD hitting you from left field like it does for so many moms, then please read the Huffington Post article and my previous blog post.

I had not known what depression and insomnia were like before I was hit from left field with both, so I’m always happy when I see information made available to the public to educate people.  An important word I’ve heard used before, just not in conjunction with something like PPD prevention, is prophylactic.   It’s a synonym, after all, for preventive measure, which in the case of pregnancy prevention comes in the form of a condom and/or the pill, but in the context of PPD prevention comes in the form of knowledge of symptoms, where/how to get treatment, lining up adequate social/emotional/practical support, and if you want to avoid disruption of sleep, orange-tinted sunglasses that can be effective in blocking blue light. These sunglasses are recommended for anyone that has to either stay up late on a regular basis, like teenagers studying and being on computers (which emit blue light), to expectant moms who have difficulty sleeping due to having to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and new moms who have to wake up every 2-3 hours to feed their babies.

Whether it’s the anxiety that comes with new mom challenges or the hormonal fluctuations and decrease in serotonin and/or melatonin–both of which are hormones critical for sleep–sensitivity to circadian rhythm changes are further aggravated by exposure to blue light, a biological trigger to wake up, which means that repeated exposure to it during the night can mess with our circadian rhythms and melatonin production.

And hence, insomnia, which for me was my very first PPD symptom.

Postpartum Support International’s 2015 Blog Hop – Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month

On the eve of Mother’s Day, here I am struggling with a blog post for the 3rd annual Postpartum Support International (PSI) Blog Hop for Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month.  The topic of the blog hop is “You are not alone: Focus on Support Groups and Resources.”

PSI Blog Hop Badge by Lauren Hale

Please consider joining the blog hop to help spread awareness!  All you have to do is go to the Dr. Christi Hibbert’s blog, and read the guidelines.  There, you will see all the other blogs who are participating in this blog hop.  You have all month in which to join the blog hop.

Support Groups and Resources can be in the form of local organizations, like PPD support groups in a local hospital or in your community (too many to name, but I do list many under my Support Groups/Local Resources links on my blog, in addition to all the local resources listed on the PSI resources page).  You can also find a number of excellent online PPD communities for support, like the closed Facebook groups Postpartum Progress#PPDChat Support, and Postpartum Support International.

I saw a post earlier tonight that inspired me to write the below “poem.”  I’m not sure what I wrote constitutes poetry, but at least you can see I tried to rhyme.  That’s all I remember from my high school days of writing and reading poetry.

I was just telling my husband earlier tonight how it seemed that more mom friends I know are either indifferent about Mother’s Day or dreading it for one reason or another.  Even this morning’s Z100 phone tap was focused on a son’s pretending to argue with his mom about having a big get-together at Peter Luger’s Steakhouse for Mother’s Day.  She was dead set against it because she historically has never wanted to celebrate Mother’s Day (and she could have a very good reason but we don’t know what that is….and neither does the son, apparently).

Before my own motherhood journey that made me realize that not all motherhood experiences are glowing from the get-go or at all, I just assumed that all mothers looked forward to Mother’s Day because it was a day that celebrates and acknowledges mothers for all their love and hard work.

Now, after having gone through what I went through and meeting many new moms in the past ten years, I know there are a lot of moms wishing there wasn’t such a thing as Mother’s Day. It’s these moms I want to dedicate today’s post to.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Are you pretending to look forward to Mother’s Day
When all you really want to do is treat it like any other day?
Or be left alone so you don’t have to spend the extra energy showing your children
How happy you are they remembered to abide with the tradition
Of a card, flowers, gift and/or brunch or dinner out.
After all, that’s what Mother’s Day is really about….

Or is it?

I know that for some women, Mother’s Day is a painful reminder of certain things.
I won’t bring up the reasons for the pain for fear of triggering negative feelings.
Whatever the reason,
Know that you are not alone.
Just like childbirth and motherhood experiences always appear so smooth and happy,
They aren’t…..it just appears that way.
It’s natural for you to feel alone if you had any childbirth or postpartum difficulties.
But there are communities
Of women out there who share a similar deal
As you and can help  you to heal.

So, if you are feeling low
And don’t feel up to celebrating Mother’s Day, then say so.
No point in pretending to say and do
Whatever people expect of you.
Like have a whole big to-do
With the extended family, in-laws too.

The important thing–and it should be every day–
Not just on Mother’s Day (a good ol’ Hallmark Day),
Is that you focus on self care.
Whether it be sleeping in and then sipping a hot cup o’ joe, lounging in PJs, getting a manicure,
Watching a flick or two, sipping a glass o’ wine or two, reading
A favorite book, or a day free of laundry, dishes, cooking and cleaning.
You deserve to treat yourself in such a way
Not just on Mother’s Day, but every day.

With love,

Join the PSI 2015 MMH Awareness Campaign: Strengthening support networks and services for moms and families worldwide!

As May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, Postpartum Support International is kicking off a campaign to raise awareness of postpartum mood disorders and the importance of supporting new moms and their families.

Click here to view the fundraising goals and perks (books signed by the authors, including my very own “One Mom’s Journey to Motherhood,” videos, baseball caps, stress-relief balls, etc.), as well as ways to help out with this very important campaign.


Bottlefeeding is Beautiful Too

I wanted to share this post showing you beautiful photos of bottle feeding moms and their babies.  For all you moms who either choose to or do not have a choice but to bottle feed your babies, you CAN bond with your babies and you WILL bond with your babies.  How you choose to feed your babies is NOT and should NOT determine how the rest of your motherhood experience will be.  Focus on your own motherhood journey and doing what you feel you need to do to make it a memorable and satisfying one.  Tune out all the negative, meddling and judgmental people that you may run across now and then.  What they say does NOT matter in the grand scheme of things.  Everything else is irrelevant and should be treated like annoying static you hear on the radio.  Tune it out. Turn it off.

You are a human with a brain and the ability to think and make decisions.  What you decide is in your and your baby’s best interests in mind is your business.  And in some instances, you need to play the cards with which you are dealt (i.e., biologically you cannot produce milk, your postpartum circumstances are not good, like childbirth complications, postpartum depression, etc.), and you need to realize it is through no fault of yours….. but you need to make the most of the situation as best you can.

I’d previously blogged that meddlers should mind their own business and keep their mouths shut when it comes to asking when/if a woman is going to have another baby (because gee whiz one is just not enough). The meme I had created said “You know why it’s not a good idea to ask if a woman is planning to have a(nother) baby? You don’t know if she can or wants to.”

Similarly, with infant feeding choices, meddlers should mind their own business and keep their mouths shut when it comes to a woman’s circumstances regarding how they feed their babies.  Here’s a new e-card I’ve just whipped up that sums my sentiments up:


#mindyourownbeeswax #ISupportYou #bottlefeedingisbeautifultoo