I just got back from a lovely dinner with the family in which we all enjoyed eating what we wanted to eat. We ate to our heart’s content. And then I went online and one of the first things I saw on Yahoo was this headline “Brandon Marshall –My Wife Just Had Twins….And She’s Already Pre-Baby Weight!” Looks like in this case, it’s not the mom bragging. It’s the husband. “My beautiful wife is not from this planet,” Marshall says … “6 weeks post baby (×2) and she’s already at her pre baby (×2) weight.” What are you seeking from the public by saying this, Mr. Marshall? You wanna trophy or attention? Well, if you want a trophy and attention, then help your team win the Super Bowl.
My reaction to this bragging and self-serving article about Mr. Marshall’s wife?
This article annoyed the heck out of me. Motivated me to write this blog post. Something similar motivated me three years ago to write about the Media’s Over-Emphasis on Celebrity Post-Baby Bods After Childbirth. It didn’t annoy me because I have been struggling with body issues. I did not struggle with self esteem issues or unhappiness with my body/weight after I had my daughter 10 years ago. I had a traumatic childbirth experience, followed by postpartum depression that descended on me quickly and mercilessly. I experienced sudden and uncontrollable weight loss. I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t sleep. I was afraid I was suffering from an illness I would never recover from. But that article and articles like Mr. Marshall’s annoyed me because they are a disservice to new mothers, in general. .
Mr. Marshall, if a woman who’s just had a baby and has bounced right back to the condition she first started before she even got pregnant, she’s either a celebrity or some other rich person who can afford a personal trainer to get you there and quickly. Like your wife.
The average mother takes quite a while to return to their pre-baby weight, and it takes a lot of effort too. So, stop bragging about how it was no big deal for your wife. The reality is (which is a different reality–or shall I say, and quite a propos too– planet than the one you and other celebrities/sports figures seem to find yourselves in), there are many mothers just trying to get by each day of their few weeks as new mothers, trying to adjust to parenthood for the first time, not having enough help and definitely not enough sleep, and about 15-20% succumbing to PPD. The last thing new mothers should be worried about–certainly not in the FIRST SIX WEEKS (click here for what the first six weeks means when it comes to a real mother’s experience and how CRITICAL they are to her wellbeing) is returning to their pre-pregnancy weight and figure. Celebrities need to get a grip and realize things do not revolve around them, even though they think that’s the case. Everyone does NOT lead lives of the rich and famous. Everyone does NOT have the ability to hire people for various types of help at the snap of a finger.
Who needs headlines jumping out bragging about a woman returning to her pre-pregnancy weight and body in only 6 weeks when most new mothers are out there struggling to learn how to breastfeed, diaper and care for their babies with insufficient support and guidance? About 80% find themselves struggling with hormonal and emotional swings that come with the baby blues that in up to 20% of all new mothers morphs into PPD. Most new moms are out there struggling to get enough hours of sleep each day so their sleep deprivation and anxieties of first-time motherhood don’t spiral into a postpartum mood disorder, like postpartum anxiety. Many new moms are concerned about having to find dependable help to watch their baby so they can go back to work in 6-12 weeks’ time to help the family make ends meet. Six to twelve weeks is hardly enough time for a new mom’s body to heal from childbirth and they are expected to leave their babies in the care of others to return to work, hitting the ground running, as if they’d never given birth in the first place. How nice that men never have to go through this (and this is another point people need desperately to look more closely at….paid parental leave).
At the end of the day, no one wants to hear bragging about losing baby weight right away, m’kay.