Go See Tully, and Let’s Talk

Just a quick post tonight with a movie review of “Tully” written by a friend of mine, Mrs. W.

Initially, Mrs. W was annoyed like I was about the movie’s apparent failures based on a couple of negative movie reviews she and I both read this past weekend.  Like me, she did not want to see the movie.  That is, until I sent her the review from a postpartum psychosis survivor, Melissa Bangs, who happens to be the star of her own one-woman show “Playing Monopoly with God” that’s been on tour for the past couple of years and is headed to New York City next week!  Reading this positive review of someone who is a PPP survivor peaked Mrs. W’s interest, and so she went to see “Tully” yesterday.  Please take a moment to read Melissa’s personal thoughts from the perspective of an actual PPP survivor!

Without further ado, here’s Mrs. W’s movie review:

“Ok. So I saw it tonight………….

  1. There are a couple triggering scenes.  One of them was in the first half of the movie, which almost caused me to leave because my whole body got amped up like I was going to have an anxiety attack.  But I calmed myself down and was able to sit through the last half of the movie, which was less emotionally jarring.
  2. I don’t want to spoil the movie, but I will say that the main character definitely has postpartum psychosis but no one ever says it outright.  There are a few things said (like when her husband told the doc she was depressed with their second child) that might mislead people to think she has postpartum depression (PPD), but I think the movie left out the actual diagnosis on purpose because it wants the audience to figure it out on their own.  However, I do think the movie shines a light on postpartum mental health and how a struggling mother could slip through the cracks …to the point that even a husband who doesn’t pay close attention would fail to notice his wife’s condition.
  3. It is a shame that the doctor in the movie doesn’t say it outright that she has PPP.  It was definitely a missed opportunity to shed light on the subject no one talks about.
  4. Also, Charlize Theron played the heck out of that role.”

Hmmmm, it’s interesting that Mrs. W thinks the film makers deliberately left out the diagnosis of PPP to cause the audience to want to figure it out on their own.  I, on the other hand, don’t have such an optimistic perspective and in this case would not give the film makers such credit for the reasons stated in my blog post about Tully.  What the movie and the subsequent posts on social media has done, at least in the maternal mental health circle, is promote discussion about maternal mental health.  But that’s within the already existing circles of advocates, mental healthcare practitioners, and survivors.  I haven’t really heard much about discussions going on among the general public, which is why first and foremost we must capture the proper message about maternal mental health conditions (and bust stigmas associated with them) to educate people, share widely and DISCUSS!  THIS is why I am still annoyed about the lost opportunity to educate the public.  The film makers could have easily inserted a diagnosis into the screenplay.  But they didn’t.

Anyway, the whole point of this post is to weigh different perspectives and not let a couple of negative movie reviews completely shut off all interest in seeing a movie.  Just as Mrs. W had done, she started out with an opinion that was formed based on a couple of negative reviews of people (not really clear if they themselves were PPD or PPP survivors) who did see the movie.  Because of these negative reviews, she was annoyed and had zero interest in seeing the movie.  After I showed her Melissa’s review, she went to see it and was able to form her own opinion after seeing it.  Then she shared with me her thoughts about the movie.

Mrs. W did confirm that the movie:

  1. Puts a light on maternal mental health in terms of mothers’ struggles being real and women like Tully falling through the cracks due to lack of awareness and lack of support from significant others and loved ones.  Motherhood is not easy.  A mother who is struggling will fall through the cracks if she doesn’t get the help she needs.  New mothers need practical/emotional help during the first couple of months.  Forget about the whole supermom thing.
  2. Falls short in raising awareness that postpartum mood disorders are experienced by 1 out of 7 mothers and definitely not anything to be ashamed of.  They are very real, serious, painful to experience, and life-changing.

And yes, Charlize Theron plays the heck out of ANY role she plays.  But for me, even if Charlize earns an Oscar nom, I still can’t set aside my annoyance (that I blogged about previously) to see it.  As a person of principle, I would not want to pay even $1 to watch a movie that fails an opportunity to educate the population properly by sending unclear signals on the condition Tully really suffered from.  To each his/her own, as they say…..

 

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Recent PPD Successes and Failures in the Media

I went from blogging once in two months to 8 times so far this month!  With Maternal Mental Health Month a little less than a week away, a lot of fundraising, training and public awareness events are being prepped to happen throughout May.  Another reason to love this time of year….hello spring!

Okay, so the title of my post is “Recent PPD Successes and Failures in the Media.”  There were 2 things in the media that caught my attention on my Facebook feed today that motivated me to blog once again. One is a success and one is a failure.  If you’ve been following my blog for some time, you would know that one of my favorite things to blog about are successful and failed attempts at depicting new mothers suffering from a mood disorder in the media, like my recent post about “Black-ish.”

Let’s start with the SUCCESS……
On this morning’s Megyn Kelly TODAY a postpartum mood and anxiety disorder (PMAD) survivor, Ashley Abeles, shared her experience.  The segment also included brief appearances by Dr. Catherine Birndorf and Paige Bellembaum who are the Medical Director and Program Director, respectively, of The Motherhood Center of New York. The Motherhood Center provides support services for new/expectant moms and treatment for PMADs. I met these ladies from the Motherhood Center at previous Postpartum Support International conferences.  If you missed the show, you can watch it here.  We need more moms sharing their PMAD experiences on shows like this!  Experiences kind of like my own that, as her husband explains, isn’t “headline-grabbing” material involving the tragic death of the mother and/or baby.  Because guess what, the vast majority of PMADs experienced by new mothers are NOT headline-grabbing material.  They’re mothers suffering from anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia, weight loss and/or intrusive/obsessive thoughts who need medication and/or therapy to recover.  Yes, severe postpartum depression (PPD) can cause a mother to feel so depressed that she just wants to disappear or her baby would be better off without her since she can’t feel joyous like a new mother should, but postpartum psychosis is too-often confused with and lumped under PPD (as a catch-all term) by both the general public and doctors alike.  Yes, doctors!  Also, PPD is not the same as the baby blues and even today, doctors still mix up the two!  We’ve come a long way since I had PPD when it comes to information in the news, in publications, on the Internet and in social media.  But we still have a LONG way to go.

And here’s the FAILURE……
The movie “Tully” starring Charlize Theron.  A Motherly post by Diana Spalding titled “We’ve seen Tully– and we’ve got some real concerns” it seems yet another movie director/producer has failed to do their homework about PPD before coming up with the screenplay and releasing it.  What every movie director/producer or TV show director/producer needs to do before even contemplating a movie or TV show about PPD is consult with Postpartum Support International.  This organization is the leading authority on maternal mental health matters and should ALWAYS be consulted to ensure the right information is incorporated into the movie/show plot.  “Tully” attributes the bizarre experiences of Tully (i.e., hallucinations she has of Marlo, frantic baking and cleaning late into the night, impulsive behavior that leads to her car crash, suicidal ideation) to PPD.  However, her behavior is actually attributable to postpartum psychosis, hence this movie spreads misinformation about what PPD really is.  Her talk of suicide is brushed off by her husband, which I can see happening in the real world when loved ones fail to “get it” and ignore the mother’s serious need for help.  While this is a movie and movies don’t necessarily have to educate–after all, this is not a documentary–it should at least get terms right (postpartum psychosis, NOT PPD!)  and it should try to mention at some point that yes, the new mother who’s obviously not well and diagnosed, albeit incorrectly, with PPD needs help!  Maybe put some kind of disclaimer at the beginning or end of the movie like you sometimes see at the beginning or end of a TV show.  Something along the lines of:

“Approximately one out of seven new mothers suffers from a postpartum mood disorder.  If you are a new mother that is experiencing any of the following symptoms: insomnia, crying/sadness for more than 2 weeks, lack of appetite, sudden weight loss, rage, hopelessness, lack of interest in the baby, loss of interest in things you used to enjoy, thoughts of harming the baby or yourself, please know that you are not alone, what you are experiencing is not your fault, and you will recover if you get the right treatment.  Contact Postpartum Support International at 800-944-4773 or visit http://www.postpartum.net