A brief note from Ivy:
Ever since the whole coronavirus thing started impacting us here in the U.S., I’ve been starting my emails and calls to friends, colleagues and clients with “I hope you are doing well.”
For those who read this post, I hope you ARE doing well. The past couple of weeks have been a period of great uncertainty and adjustment for all of us. I’ve been trying very hard to go with the flow and not to be overly anxious about what’s going on and the fear that I and members of my family would fall ill with the coronavirus.
It is normal to be anxious. During this period of uncertainty and anxiety, remember to use your coping skills. Breathe, listen to music, read a book, connect with people via Facetime, Zoom, Facebook, or any of the other numerous apps out there. Even churches have been holding online services.
If you are struggling, visit this site to learn some things you can do to take care of your mental health in the face of uncertainty. You may also call the national Disaster Distress Helpline ( 24/7) at 800-985-5990 for emotional support and crisis counseling if you are experiencing distress or other mental health concerns. Calls are answered by trained counselors who will listen to your concerns, explore coping and other available supports, and offer referrals to community resources for follow-up care and support.
If you are a new or expectant mom or even a mom who has had a postpartum mood disorder in the past, you know you can rely on the support of Postpartum Support International volunteers and staff to support you if you are feeling anxious. PSI provides support to mothers and their families every day via 800-944-4773 or text 503-894-9453 (Eng) or 971-420-0294 (Español). Additionally, PSI’s free online support groups meet every Tuesday (and now every Thursday as well). Meet other moms virtually, share your story, build a community and hang out with other moms! Find info on timings and register here. Please also like the PSI Facebook page for daily updates, including changes to frequency of online support groups.
Stay healthy and safe.
And here is my friend Stacy M’s experience during the coronavirus situation:
Tonight G said something that stopped me in my tracks. I’ve worried so much about regression with him.
At dinner, he announced:”You know I used to do this funny thing where I lined up all my animals on the steps all the time and it was so weird. I don’t know why I would do such a thing.”
I have tons of pictures on our iCloud when he would stim and line his dolls up in his own special way. We never interfered with what he was doing and just let him run with it. We were always so careful to avoid knocking anything out of place. We would leave his masterpieces around for days and days.
He has slowly outgrown this behavior. It’s been a while since he has lined things up. I didn’t even realize it….until now.
Now, with the whole coronavirus situation and with schools being closed, life has changed so much these past two weeks. I have been worrying about what I would do if I had to step in for his teachers and do everything they’ve been doing that have helped him so much.
I was a broken soul his first two little years of life when I suffered terribly with severe postpartum depression (PPD) and postpartum anxiety (PPA). I was crippled by PPD/PPA for some time. It’s been 6 years since I felt the kind of despair that I felt when I suffered from PPD/PPA. PPD/PPA paralyzed me so much that I was even afraid to hold my children (G has a twin sister) for the first year.
Then, when I noticed that G was showing signs of autism around 9 months old, the only way I knew I could help him was to secure as much help as I could with his autism. Even though I felt broken, as long as I had the right help for G, things would be fine. I have always hated asking for help, but for my sake and for G’s sake, I had to let help in and let help heal us. Once I finally got my feet on the ground, I did better and so did G. We have been making progress and thriving ever since.
However, now with this new way of life of social distancing due to the coronavirus, I have been hit with a wave of feelings that brought me back to the days when I had PPD/PPA. Being a mother during these times is really tough. It’s not the kind of world I ever imagined my family and I would ever have to experience. I have done everything in my strength to be able to function well again. But now, I’ve been experiencing waves of uncertainty from fear of the unknown, as I (along with everyone else around me) have never experienced what we are now experiencing. The sudden turn of events requiring everyone to stop going to work, stop going to school, stop getting together with friends and relatives, and even stop going out unless we really had to caught everyone off-guard. No one could prepare for any of this.
I’ve been having some tears build up for days now. But I take deep breaths daily. I’m taking one day at a time. I have learned that I CAN teach my children from home. I have learned that I CAN manage this. I HAVE been managing.
The fact that G could reflect on such behavior tonight made me feel so proud of myself and of him that we’ve come so far despite all the obstacles.
What I want to tell other new mothers and mothers to be is to not be afraid to ask for help and to rely on a support system.
It is important to communicate and put one foot in front of the other, one step and one day at a time.
It will all make sense again. It’s okay to be scared, it’s okay to cry right now, and it’s okay to talk about your fears and get them off your chest.
We may be quarantined but there are many online support groups that can help while we still need to maintain social distancing.
You are never alone.
– Stacy M