A new year and a new perspective on things

I did something on New Year’s Day that I thought I’d never be able to do. What’s that? I deactivated my Facebook account and I’ve stayed away from Facebook for a week. That may not sound like a long time, but for someone who has pretty much posted daily ever since she started up her account in 2009, that’s saying a lot, relatively speaking.

What prompted me to temporarily quit Facebook? Well, if you read my last post, you’d see that New Year’s Day was a crappy day for several reasons. The couple of days following that were crappy too. I felt blue for all the reasons I stated in my last post, including some health issues preventing me from eating normally to the point I had to see my doctor today. My diet has to change for at least the next 6 weeks.

Today, I told someone at work that I was feeling blue, and she thought it might have something to do with what was going on in DC or at work. Without getting too detailed, I told her it was neither…. that I was just feeling blue in general from being cooped up with nowhere to go. I don’t know about you, but when I feel down, I withdraw. I don’t feel like smiling, laughing, doing things that I find fun, etc. I sure as heck don’t want to see pictures of people smiling and posts where people are kidding around with each other. I’m not in the mood for any of that.

I don’t know when I’m going to feel up to returning to Facebook, but I found out something during my 1-week reprieve. No, actually, I found out a few things.

First of all, I am not as addicted to it as I (and certain individuals may have) thought I was.

Second, I’ve learned that even people who use Facebook regularly don’t necessarily realize that a daily Facebook poster like me who has suddenly deactivated her account for no apparent reason just might be going through a rough patch and a hello would be nice. If I realized a friend deactivated their account suddenly, I would reach out to them via IM, text, email or phone; in fact, I have done this several times in the past 12 years!

Third, sure, Facebook kept me buoyed from crashing mentally during the past 4 years of sheer hell (which is thankfully ending on 1/20) because of all the like-minded groups I’ve found and local friends I’ve made. But…..I’ve survived pretty much all my life without emotional support from anyone, so I can do it again now with practically no one reaching out to see if I’m okay.

Fourth, despite all the negative stuff that’s been happening (i.e., the first-ever non-peaceful transition in presidency and even mayhem in the Capitol), I’m still able to stay optimistic because the Dems won the GA run-offs 2 days ago, flipping the Senate and we are finally ditching Mitch and the so-called leader of this country that has successfully incited hatred and divided citizens like no other President has done.

Fifth and last but not least, yes, I’ve been blue from the cold, short, cooped-up days but I am slowly coming around again, once again telling myself that if I kicked postpartum depression’s butt, I’m sure as heck going to kick whatever funk I’m finding myself stuck in right now.

Speaking of kicking, I’m not going to let folks kick me when I’m already down by de-friending me while my account is deactivated….what’s up with that anyway? That’s some seriously strange behavior, and I just have to say that life is too short, and I am too old and tired to deal with people like that. Seriously. Time to use the blocker. These aren’t really friends if they de-friend you even if you did nothing wrong! They don’t really know or care about you at all. This is why I have been so picky about who to send friend invites to and whom to accept invites from for the past 12 years. Why do I need to become “friends” with someone if all they’re going to do is de-friend you for no reason, anyway? Nah, life is way too short for sh!t like that.

So, thank you, blog, for once again helping me to get this all off my chest. Time to kick the winter blue’s a$$ now!


Why I Blog and What Social Media Means for Me

I am a part of the way through something I am working on this summer that is causing me to have no time to follow the over 500 Facebook pages whose news appears on my feed on a daily basis that takes, easily, up to 4 hours a day to read through.  Reading everything in my Facebook feed requires me to be on Facebook on my commute to and from work (about 1 hour each way), plus 2 or so hours after I put my daughter to bed each night.  I’m fairly certain that all my Facebook friends–at least those that have NOT hidden me from their feeds–are relieved at not having to see every single time I Like a post with a Global setting (thank you, Mark Zuckerberg, for this ridiculousness).  Ha!

A couple of friends recently asked me if I plan to cut back from Facebook on a permanent basis, like I did with Twitter a couple years ago because that became too time consuming (and I was getting tired of the cliquey snark and popularity contests that left a bad taste in my mouth….and I don’t have time for that sh*t), and as a full-time employee with a long commute to/from work each day, I found it impossible to keep up with it.  At this point, I do not know.  I will have to see how it goes.  I must say, though, that it is so freeing not to have to feel like I MUST get through everything in my news feed every single day!  More time to do what I have to do.  Less stress.

A couple of friends also asked me if I planned to keep up blogging, to which I indicated that I will always keep up my blogging and advocacy for maternal mental health and anti-bullying.  They indicated it seems I have reached the end of my journey of documenting and processing my emotions and experiences that occurred before, during and after I had my daughter. But I told them that I will always need an outlet and I will always be passionate and outspoken about these two topics.  And after all, the origin of the word “blog” came from web log:  an online journal or diary, a means to get one’s thoughts and feelings out and at the same time sharing with individuals who can appreciate your posts.

I may not have amassed that large of a following, but what I do know is that I am reaching people on a daily basis who find me via certain key words.  I am content knowing that I continue reaching and helping others feel less alone with their experiences and I continue to spread awareness so fewer new moms will go through what I went through…..the original intent of this blog.

I am not using social media for popularity purposes.  In fact, on Facebook I choose to keep a very small circle of Facebook “friends.”  I limit this small circle to those I know IRL (in real life) or with whom I have corresponded regularly online for a certain length of time and with whom I feel very like-minded.  And if I know the person IRL, I have to have a positive relationship with that person (this is pretty logical, no?).

I’m not blogging strictly to see how many Likes or Shares I can get or friends I can make.  If that were the sole purpose, I would’ve stopped a long time ago.  Despite the fact that I have been blogging for over 5 years and people still haven’t heard of my blog–even in the field of maternal mental health–and certain individuals who used to support my blog but don’t any longer, I am going to keep on doing what I’m doing.

I’ve said this in previous posts that my blogging style (as straightforward, down to earth, genuine, no BS, and “what you see is what you get” as you’ll ever come across….which reflects the kind of person I am IRL) isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay.  Everyone is different. I am staying true to myself.

I care about new moms who feel as lost as I did when I first had my baby.

I care about teens who get bullied.

That is all.