Happy Mother’s Day 2017

Dear Mama-

If you’re visiting my blog, I just want to let you know that you are not alone in your postpartum experience.

You may feel like you are alone.  But you aren’t.

I am a PPD survivor.  There are MANY PPD survivors.  I am here for you.  There are many PPD survivors out there for you.

I love analogies, and I’m going to use one here.  I have pansies outside on the deck that I never expected to make it all winter with the cold, snow and ice, but it DID make it.  I covered the plant with a plastic food container to prevent it from getting crushed by snow/ice and to protect it from the below-freezing temps and wind.  I visited it, touched the one or 2 flowers that endured during the winter, and spoke to them (never thought I’d ever be a flower whisperer, but here I am) as much as I could.

Here are the persistent pansies that failed to let the elements prevent them from standing tall.

And here are the pansies today!  

You will get through the sleepless nights due to your anxiety, insomnia, feelings of helplessness.  Just like the pansies surviving was doubtful, they were able to persist because they received care and support.

I made it, without even knowing that what I had was PPD.

I made it through with crappy bedside manner from both my OB and doctor.

I made it with no support from anyone else around me except for my husband. I’d never heard of anyone having PPD before.

I didn’t know about Postpartum Support International (PSI).

I wasn’t on the Internet much back then.  It was 2005. I wasn’t on Facebook or Twitter.

I wasn’t referred to any therapists who specialize in PPD.  I didn’t have a support group, either.

But I made it.  And YOU WILL TOO.

If you are reading this and you are suffering and don’t have any idea how to get help, please leave me a comment.  I will respond and try to help you find resources to help you get through this.  You can also go to the PSI website for phone and local resources.

There was a blog post from fellow PPD survivor, Andrea Bates, author of the blog “Good Girl Gone Redneck” featured on the PSI website on World Maternal Mental Health Day this past week that I want you to visit if you haven’t seen it already.  Please check it out.  She’s a wonderful writer.  I wish I could write like her.  She also wrote 3 blog posts leading up to Mother’s Day this past week that you should also check out.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mama!

Love,
Ivy
❤ ❤ ❤

This Mother’s Day – Let’s Focus on What Really Matters

THIS MOTHER’S DAY – LET’S FOCUS ON WHAT REALLY MATTERS

What’s all this recent fuss?
This fuss with yet another ploy
By media to add fuel to the fire
Of moms who breast-feed versus bottle-feed
Of moms who attachment parent, the seemingly new trend,
And of moms like me who are like, what is attachment parenting (or AP) anyway?

Why the lingo?
Why the mompetition?
Why not community?
Why not support for each other?
Why don’t we honor mothers the way other cultures do?

Well, let me tell you why.
Our society is one in which the primary goal is success,
And who’s best at this or that.
Who’s best at motherhood.
Who’s best at their career.
Who breast-feeds the longest.
Who returns to their pre-baby body the quickest.

Our culture is more bent on pitting mother against mother
Than finding ways for them to support each other.
Through the years, our culture has lost its way.
Just think….
Why is good childcare hard to find?
Why is info on PPD so hard to find?
Why are support services for new moms so hard to find?
What are medical professionals who know how to recognize
And treat PPD correctly so hard to find?

Who gives a rat’s tush….
If someone breast-feeds for a few days versus three years?
If someone bottle-feeds because they choose to do so?
If someone bottle feeds because they and/or their baby had to have a….
Life-saving procedure
Or was sick
And had difficulty breastfeeding
And had very little support?
If someone does “AP” or doesn’t even know what the heck that term means
Does it really matter?
And why someone have to even come up with it in the first place?

Haven’t parents been parenting for thousands of years?
Babies have turned out just fine,
And in some ways, even better than they are today!
Were there electronic gadgets and fancy terms for childcare decades ago?
My peers and I grew up without all that
And I would like to think we turned out just fine!

If we want our babies to grow up fine
We feed, hold, kiss, hug, and interact (read/sing/play) with them.
We do the best we can given our personal situation.
Doesn’t matter how expensive our toys are
Or how fancy the name of the trend du jour is,
Or whether we end up bottle-feeding for whatever the reason may be.
Bonding will happen.
Babies will thrive.

Don’t give in to our society’s myopic ploy.
A ploy with a focus on situations that encourage moms to compete with each other.
A society with mothers feeling alone,
Mothers feeling stressed out,
And mothers feeling like they’re not mom enough.
A society that provides very little in the way of
New mom support services,
Comprehensive maternal health (mental/medical) care services,
And awareness campaigns to bust the stigma surrounding perinatal mental health!
And you wonder why the number of moms with PPD are one in eight!
We are bringing it upon ourselves!

What can we do to change things, you ask?
Let’s end the mompetition.
Let’s have moms be supportive of each other.
Let’s create support services to help new mothers and their families.
Let’s have a society that honors its mothers
Not just on Mother’s Day but always!

For all the moms out there, remember self care.
Without it, you cannot care for your babies.
They need you.
As long as you’re doing what YOU feel is right for you and your baby…
And given YOUR situation…
Then filter out all the media tactics and mompetitive attitudes…
Take a deep breath and repeat after me:
“I AM MOM ENOUGH, AND I WON’T FORGET IT.”

For all those who have a mom (or two) you care about
And will be celebrating Mother’s Day with her today,
Please remember (especially if this is a new mom) that the greatest gift
You can give her is emotional and practical support.
Don’t provide advice unless she asks you for it.
Do provide a shoulder to cry on if she’s having a rough day.
Do provide help so she can get the rest she needs
And/or time to do something just for herself,
And last but not least,
Remind her that SHE IS MOM ENOUGH AND SHE SHOULD NOT FORGET IT.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there!

A wish from one mother to another!

xx

Happy Mother’s Day 2011

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there!  I just wanted to bring to your attention a couple of mother’s day tributes. 

One is MotherWoman’s moving video dedicated to all the moms out there.

The other is Katherine Stone’s 3rd annual Mother’s Day Rally for Moms’ Mental Health.  If you haven’t been over there yet, then please go on over there now and throughout the rest of the day until midnight. I had the honor of participating in her very first rally in 2009, a few months after I first took to blogging.  Each hour on the hour, Katherine is posting a letter written by a mommy blogger or author to new moms out there.  All these wonderful ladies are sharing their insight on motherhood and/or perinatal mental health. What a great way to not only observe Mother’s Day but spread awareness of perinatal mood disorders that occurs in one of out eight new mothers!

Please remember that Mother’s Day is NOT just a Hallmark occasion.  I agree with MSN.com that it should be a month long and mothers should be celebrated in one way or another all month long.  Do something nice for a new mom you know.  Reach out to her. Give her a call and ask her how she is doing and offer her some help.