Steve Bannon’s Ignorance on Mental Health

 *** This post may be triggering if you are suffering from postpartum depression (PPD) and are sensitive to negative news events***

Here I am, posting again….wow, it’s now 3x in one month.  I haven’t posted with such frequency in a long time.  Guess you can say the state of this country is heavy on my mind.  I had said in my last post that I wasn’t going to talk politics since this site is dedicated to maternal mental health.  I was planning to stick to that guideline.  But then I hit a snag in my plans, thanks to a post I read about Bannon, the individual that Trump has selected to be his chief strategist.  Bannon made a comment about mental health that triggered me so much it had me flashing back to the trigger that set me off on a 6-year journey to publish a book about my postpartum depression (PPD) experience.  What trigger is that?  Well, if you’ve been following my blog for some time and/or you read my author bio, you would know that Tom Cruise and his There’s no such thing as a chemical imbalance comment triggered me back in 2005.  But the outcome of the trigger was good, as I have my blog and book as the end result. And yes, I do thank TC in my Acknowledgments.

There’s nothing good about this trigger related to Bannon, though.  TC is just an ignorant actor. But Bannon is an ignorant white supremacist who will have a role in the White House and will have far more negative consequences than TC ever had.  Bannon made a statement that the cure for mental illness is to spank your children more.  Excuse me?  What.The.Fuck. (oops, forgot to use $ or other symbol to fill in for the “u” for the very first time…..there’s a first time for everything, as they say).  I’ve truly had it with this whole election.  I’ve had it with all the hatred, misogyny and bigotry.  With the cheeto about to become our President and the alt right using him as a tool to ensure there are at least 4 years of revenge for the 8 years they had to suffer under President Obama, they have populated the leadership team with known racists (Bannon, Sessions, Flynn) and ensuring that racism becomes the new normal.  My passion for matters related to racism stems from my being bullied as a child for my race.  But I’m not going to digress here (even though anti-bullying is my other passion)……

Note: If you’re a Trump follower trolling this blog post and thinking I’m bullying Bannon or Trump, then think again.  Bullying is DIRECT harassment to them personally.  I’m exerting my 1st amendment right voicing my thoughts on my own blog.  Thank you very much.

<directing myself back on track….>

Bannon, just like I’ve been wishing to tell Tom Cruise in person, I wish I could tell YOU in person, if you’ve never been through mental illness yourself, then:
Shut the f*ck up.  
Shut.Your.Ignorant.Mouth.Up.  

And get educated about mental illness and how it REALLY works.  It’s not mind over matter, you dimwit.  Take a few minutes to read a blog post that may help you see the light when it comes to PPD.  There are plenty of articles from health organizations and blog posts on the Internet for you to learn the TRUTH behind mental illness.  But I’m pretty sure you won’t bother to spend a second to read anything because you think you know it all, don’t you.

Here’s where, if I could be granted 3 genie wishes, one of them would be to make all haters/bigots switch places with the ones being hated and the ones who keep insisting that mental illness is mind over matter to switch places with those who are battling a mental illness (e.g., depression, PTSD, bipolar disorder, etc.).  You will learn in an instant that the logic you’ve been upholding is COMPLETELY WRONG.  See my past post on this titled “All It Takes Is One Day.”  One day to experience a mental illness yourself, firsthand……THAT’S ALL IT TAKES to snap you to reality and stop living in a world based on assumptions (that only make a$$es out of you).

And speaking of backwards, as women, we should not let ourselves be dragged backwards when it comes to our rights. We must stand up for ourselves and for each other.  We must work harder than ever to support organizations that will help us stay on track when it comes to mental health and women’s rights, especially during the time that women are most vulnerable–i.e., before, during and after childbirth.  Please join me in doing this!

If you’re a mom suffering from PPD right now, please be comforted in knowing that there are plenty of people in this country and around the world who care enough to make it a goal to help moms like you.  Please reach out to me, reach out to others with blogs, Facebook pages….we will help you get through this.

You WILL get through this.  I got through it stronger than ever before, and so can you!

Peace to you.

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Postpartum Insomnia Series – Part 3: BRYN

This is the third of my series of blog posts about postpartum insomnia.

I met Bryn recently via the closed Facebook group for Postpartum Support International.  Thank you, Bryn, for sharing your experience on my blog.  I am very glad that the process of reflecting back to the time you suffered from postpartum depression (PPD)/postpartum anxiety (PPA) and putting your thoughts down was cathartic.  I’ve always found blogging to be a therapeutic process, and I encourage all my readers to consider writing/blogging about your experiences. It will truly make a difference and help you process/validate what you went through.

Now, without further ado, here are Bryn’s 10 Q&A…..

* * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * *

QUESTION:
When/what was the first indication that something wasn’t right, and how long after childbirth did the first sign occur?

ANSWER:
My first sign was probably before I even left the hospital. I had a regular check-up at 38w6d and had low amniotic fluid, so I was induced that evening, Friday. Delivered Saturday morning and went home Monday late afternoon. During that whole time, I maybe slept a handful of hours total. Early Monday morning I was a wreck, sobbing about putting baby girl in the nursery so we could sleep and sobbing because I couldn’t sleep. But that just registered to me as Very Emotional First Time Mom. My first official indication that something wasn’t right was trying to sleep at home Monday night and free falling into my first-ever panic attack. I felt very, very dangerous. I remember looking at some scissors and making some very disorienting, strong connections to my panic and danger and those scissors. I actually picked them up and will never forget my husband saying, “Bryn, put down the scissors.” I made DH drive us (me and the three-day-old, poor girl) right back to the ER, where I had another panic attack. My folks had visited earlier that morning, had already driven home (80 miles away) and then drove back to be with me at the hospital. DH’s mom drove to our house to set up helping out with baby girl (So, so grateful to have one grandma who’s a Labor & Delivery Nurse and one grandma who’s a Licensed Professional Counselor Mental Health Professional). I finally got some Ativan and went home to try sleeping with Unisom. This was around 2am. DH’s mom woke me up around 6am to nurse. So, I maybe got four hours of sleep. I remember feeling so incredulous that, even after everything that had happened the previous night, she would actually wake me up. But, um, duh, I do have a baby now. Four hours was generous! I was very much in denial. So, short answer, my first sign that something wasn’t right happened 2-3 days postpartum.

QUESTION:
Did you suffer from insomnia? What other symptoms did you experience, if any?

ANSWER:
Yes. Monday night I got a few hours of sleep after Ativan and Unisom. Tuesday night, I tried melatonin and didn’t sleep. Wednesday late afternoon, I tried to go to bed early and took Unisom since that worked okay Monday night. I didn’t sleep and was also so whacked out with constant anxiety and mini-panic attacks that I pleaded to go back to the hospital. I begged and begged the ER to sedate me. I was out of my ever-loving mind, clinging to DH and just losing it. At 8pm, after a lot of doc consults and one psych consult (and the number to the local crisis stabilization unit), I finally got a cocktail of Benadryl, Ativan and Haldol. I slept for 10 hours, waking up at 6am and went right back to high-strung anxiety and all-day panic. Thursday night, I tried Ambien and woke up after an hour. Made a deal with DH that I would go to baby girl’s first doc appointment Friday morning and then we would check me in somewhere. We’d spent a week trying to figure out what the hell to do with me and how to get me better, and now it was the professionals’ turn.

QUESTION:
Now, just out of curiosity, do you have a personal history of depression and/or anxiety or other mood disorder?

ANSWER:
I had a brief period of depression in high school after moving cross country my junior year, but that experience didn’t lead to anything that truly interfered with my life the way my PPD/PPA did after I had my baby.  The sadness during my junior year definitely felt different than other times in my life. I remember functioning like a zombie, numb for a few months until I got into the swing of things. My mom says I barely ate for a few weeks, but I don’t really remember that.  I didn’t have any treatment beyond the school counselor getting me involved in the basketball team as a scorekeeper. It wasn’t until after I gave birth that I experienced a mood disorder that prevented me from sleeping, functioning and enjoying the baby that I gave birth to after a very stressful IVF cycle so much so that I truly needed medication to help with recovery.

QUESTION:
Did you see a doctor right away, and was he/she able to help you?  What course of treatment did he/she prescribe? Did he/she diagnose you with a postpartum mood disorder?

ANSWER:
Tuesday, after my first panic attacks, we went back to my midwife to check in with her about all this. They prescribed Xanax, which turned out to not really agree with me. I don’t remember them diagnosing me with a mood disorder of any kind. And I don’t remember PPD/PPA being mentioned. Just that I was having difficulty getting back on track. But I did take the Edinburgh and remembering scoring off the charts, so maybe we had that discussion? I really don’t remember.

QUESTION:
If you had to take meds, what was it/what were they and how long did you have to take it/them?  Did you have enough resources to help you with your recovery?  What kind of resources did you have (e.g., support group, postpartum doula, psychiatrist, partner reduced work hours/worked from home)? Did you have enough practical help (e.g., late night feedings) with the baby?

ANSWER:
I started with Xanax (anti-anxiety) from my midwife, which just gave me jitters and put me out of sorts. I first checked in to a local, free, crisis stabilization unit Friday morning (one week postpartum) in Cookeville, TN where we were living at the time, but once I got fully checked in and started assessing the place (with my vast knowledge of psychiatric help facilities [sarcasm]), I started freaking out that they weren’t going to be able to help me because the doctor had already gone home for the day and I had zero confidence they could get me to sleep that night. I went into panic mode again. The nurse got authorization to give me some Ativan (anti-anxiety). I called my family to come get me, and we headed to Vanderbilt Psychiatric Hospital instead. The Ativan really helped keep me calm for about an hour or two. I kind of wish I had had that all that first week, but of course, that wouldn’t have addressed any underlying issues.

Vandy Psych checked me in via the ER and a Patient Transfer Unit. That place. I will always remember that place as the lowest of my low points. It was a perfectly fine unit with perfectly great, professional people. That was just where it all came to the point of no return for me. My folks were with me while DH and his mom were with baby girl. We just waited and waited, on furniture that was bolted to the ground, I might add. We had intake and consult after intake and consult. And there were a handful of other folks in the other rooms waiting, just like me, for a bed to open up. Knowing what I know now about the process, they had mercy and definitely pushed me ahead of other folks. I was pacing and freaking out and then pumping and trying to lie down and changing my diaper because I was still only a week postpartum, and pacing and freaking out on repeat. I was so beyond exhausted, my dad paced behind me so I wouldn’t fall over. I pleaded with the staff to get me in so I could just go to sleep. I remember telling anyone who would listen I was this close to just banging my head against the wall to knock myself out. I was VERY aware of feeling this “line” just right there in front of me. I very easily could go ahead and bang my head against the wall. But I knew if I crossed that line, there would be no coming back, not for a long time or without a lot of repercussions. That willpower to not beat my head against the wall or go flailing out of control, letting loose all the fucked-up crazy that was pent up inside me, that was the strongest I have ever been. Ever. I am in awe of myself for not letting go. I guess I come by my control issues and anxiety honestly.

At one point I got pretty worked up and they gave me Atarax (anti-anxiety) to calm down. Man, those -axes do not agree with me. I felt like my soul was trying to come out through my skin and my skin was trying to dissolve off me at the same time. So horrible.

When I finally got to the psych unit, I was given a brief tour and another intake and then some sleep meds. I know Zyprexa (anti-psychotic) was one of them, and I think melatonin (supplement) or Benadryl (antihistamine), or both, were in there, too. This was a bit after midnight and I slept until about 7am. The staff had been told not to wake me and seemed pretty surprised to see me lining up for breakfast.

For whatever reason, I did not have my anxiety and insomnia symptoms during my long weekend stay Inpatient. They switched me from Xanax to Zoloft (anti-depressant) because I wanted to keep trying breastfeeding/pumping. I stepped down on the Zyprexa for sleep and the last two nights switched to melatonin. After three days, I felt ready to go home, against doc’s advice. I didn’t even sign up to attend Outpatient the next day. I felt great. (My discharge papers diagnosed me with “major depression with postpartum onset.”) DH picked me up, and we drove to his mom’s where they had moved during this time to be closer to where I was. When we arrived, I immediately held my baby girl and immediately went straight back into panic and despair. My doc team and family had decided I wouldn’t sleep in the same room as the baby just yet, so I battled through panic (that I hadn’t felt in four days) in another room and somehow slept fairly well. I RAN back up to the hospital the next morning and begged them to let me in the Outpatient program. I participated in that program for the rest of that week (two weeks postpartum) and had no new meds, but did step up my Zoloft.

At the end of that week, we were going to drive back to Cookeville for baby girl’s two-week pediatric appointment and I was pretty worked up about going back to that house, that bedroom, that no-sleep zone. Doc gave me some super low dose Klonopin (anti-anxiety) and I managed to make it to Sunday without taking any. Sunday night I slept in the same room with DH and baby girl, and actually did a night feeding shift (formula) around 2am, I think. We went to her appointment, refreshed some clothing and stuff and drove back to Nashville so I could finish the Outpatient program that week.

That weekend back home in Cookeville started a set-back. I made the hard, but relieving decision to stop pumping and switch to formula. Pumping/breastfeeding sent me into panic every time and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I went back to Outpatient Tuesday (sobbing to my mom on the drive up there, sobbing so hard she made me drive to her place so she could drive me the rest of the way) and Tuesday night confessed to DH that I was having thoughts of cutting myself. Just something to distract me from this misery that I could not escape. I just wanted it all to go away and there was no magic pill for that. Mom drove me to Outpatient again Wednesday morning and I confessed the same to her. With her therapist hat on, she asked me if I had considered checking myself back in. I just sobbed more. I actually really wanted to go back Inpatient. In there, I was safe and taken care of and structured and understood. If I could just pause Life, and if they could just fix me, then I could go be a mom and a wife and Life would be doable again.

So, a week after being discharged, I checked myself back in. This time, I stayed just over a week. I had all my anxiety symptoms, but was at least sleeping fine. The doc team added Risperidone (anti-psychotic) to my meds and Pindolol (beta blocker). When I was discharged, I was scared. I didn’t feel confident this time going back to Life. I gladly went to Outpatient and continued to sleep apart from DH and baby girl. I did okay over my first weekend back (no Outpatient and no structure made weekends scary) and finished out the whole next week.

After being away for two years, we had already planned to move from Cookeville back to Nashville over this summer. So, after this second attempt at Inpatient and Outpatient, I was four weeks postpartum and we needed to be out of our apartment two weeks later.

Luckily, yes, we had resources. We had a ton of resources. Both our families lived in the area and were a HUGE help. We got moved back, DH started a new job, and I had two more months maternity leave. I no longer felt in crisis, but I also did not see the light at the end of the tunnel just yet.

QUESTION:
When was the first sign of light at the end of the tunnel and you were starting your recovery?

ANSWER:
The light at the end of the tunnel probably came around six months postpartum. I posted on Facebook that “it suddenly dawned on me that I hadn’t cried or felt miserable and had, in fact, been feeling rather “up” for almost one whole glorious week.” Going back to work was ROUGH. Finally feeling love for baby girl and then leaving her at home with Grandma was ROUGH. I weaned off Risperidone and Pindolol, but stayed on Zoloft. I continued my Psych follow-ups. I tried different counselors, but didn’t find a good fit until almost a year later. Unfortunately, what helped me most, I think, was giving myself permission to be bad at everything except surviving; I was subpar at my job, a crappy wife, I let go of chores and cleaning, and gave up and went to bed around 8pm most nights.

QUESTION:
Did you have any more children after this PPD experience, and if so, did you do anything to prepare yourself and were you able to ward off PPD the subsequent time(s)?

ANSWER:
I am 16 months postpartum and just starting to think about more kids. This time last year, even thinking about more kids was a big Hell No. But, here we are. Baby girl was such an easy baby and is seriously a delightful toddler. Surely, we’re setting ourselves up for a colicky next kid! I will say, we battled through infertility for a few years before conceiving via IVF, and if we didn’t have frozen embryos already, we’d be one and done. We just don’t have the funds or energy for a fresh cycle, and, clearly, the old-fashioned way just doesn’t work for us.

To those ends, I have been reading What Am I Thinking? by Karen Kleiman. Her book This Isn’t What I Expected was a bible for me during Inpatient and those first several weeks. DH and I want to find some counseling so that we’ve strengthened “us” the best we can before a second potential crazystorm. I will likely stay on my Zoloft, maybe step down a bit, but stay on.

QUESTION:
If you could go back in time what advice would you give yourself before you got pregnant?

ANSWER:
Advice for pre-crazy Bryn? I don’t know. Unfortunately, I tend to be a “go through the mess myself” kind of person instead of believing the person who says, “Don’t go that way, it’s a mess.” I got pregnant via a never unstressful cycle. I was commuting 80 miles one way for work a few times a week and staying with my folks (away from DH) a few nights a week (thus not having to commute every day). I had Factor V Leiden which meant I gave myself shots of Lovenox in my belly twice a day during the entire pregnancy until six weeks AFTER delivering. I had an ER scare with severe abdominal pain mid-pregnancy (inconclusive, but definitely not pre-labor/BH). And I was eventually induced a week early because of repeated low amniotic fluid. Whew. I think my advice would be Pay Attention and Take It The F Easy. It’s so easy to look back and see the massive amount of stress I was managing and living with. When the swirling hormone stew that is postpartum became a reality, the control I thought I had of everything that I had been dealing with just fell apart.

QUESTION:
Did anything positive come out of your PPD experience?

ANSWER:
I remember feeling incredibly raw and vulnerable during those first several crisis weeks. And that actually felt good. To just be so real and open and honest and bare with those around me. Everyone knew what was what and I just didn’t care what folks thought of me. I was in crisis. I was a mess. I was fighting for my life. And I REACHED OUT. I RAN to help. Maybe it’s because of growing up with a therapist for a mother, but I had zero shame in seeking help. I had shame about failing my daughter, my husband, burdening my in-laws, scaring the hell out of my parents. But I didn’t have shame about sharing the hell I was going through and hoping someone could reach down and help pull me out. I see that as a positive.

QUESTION:
What would you want to say to women currently suffering with PPD?

ANSWER:
I have no idea what to say to others going through this. I don’t know that anyone could have said anything to me. I babbled and raged and folks listened and I started meds and I kind of feel like I just waited it out. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other. I made sure I felt safe with the folks around me in case I fell, and then just gritted my teeth and kept going. It REALLY sucked. But it doesn’t now. That’s probably not very inspiring or life-affirming, but maybe that will resonate with someone.

 

Postpartum Insomnia Series – Story 2: KIM

This is the second of the series of posts about postpartum insomnia.  I met Kim recently via the closed Facebook group for Postpartum Support International.  Insomnia was one of the symptoms that she suffered as a consequence of postpartum anxiety and postpartum obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).

Thank you, Kim, for sharing your story on my blog!

********************************

I’ve always been anxious.  It’s been my temperament since day one; just ask my parents.  I wouldn’t know that I’ve also had OCD must of my life until after I had my first child.  Looking back, all I can say is – DUH! – but in the 90s and even beyond, there just wasn’t a lot of information available about these mental “disorders.” My parents even took me to a child psychiatrist, but to no avail.  Admittedly, it’s hard to diagnose someone at such a young age (I was 10), but the more we talk about it the easier it might become, right?

Anyway, before I became pregnant with my first child, I had a miscarriage, specifically a “missed” miscarriage, during the 12-week check, after which the recovery went on far longer than I expected.  It was painful, emotionally and physically speaking, but we got through it and got pregnant again.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t as anxious as I thought I would be this time around.  Despite moving 2.5 hours away from my family while 6 months pregnant, I was confident everything would be fine.  My sister had had 2 kids prior and, to all outward appearances, she had made it look so easy!

Fast forward 3ish months and this baby wasn’t budging.  10 days past my due date, they decided to induce.  Again, little to no progress.  After 16 hours of contractions, they finally made the decision to do a C-section and, low and behold, there was my baby!  Yikes!

From night one, he cried.  And cried.  And cried.  I attempted nursing with very little success, but kept trying.  (Eventually, I’d move to only formula, but not before going through several different types before settling on one that didn’t cause the babe major discomfort that led to hours upon hours of late night screaming).

All of this took a huge toll on me physically, emotionally, mentally.  I felt like, because my husband was working, I needed to be the one to take care of my child during the night time hours.  Sleep was not something that came easily…initially, because of the stress of middle of the night feedings/endless screaming, later because of extreme anxiety/OCD and the consequent insomnia.

If there is one thing I’ve learned from this harrowing postpartum experience is that sleep is ESSENTIAL.  We need that time to reflect, to recharge, to RELAX.

Ultimately, the lack of sleep (I was averaging 2 hours a night on the couch with my son so that my husband could sleep) sent me on a terrifying downward spiral.  I began experiencing awful intrusive thoughts that, even thought I didn’t understand it at the time, are directly associated with high anxiety and OCD.  After some research, I discovered Postpartum Progress, an amazingly informative website that helped me to understand what was happening to me.

Even though I was hesitant to start medication, my OB prescribed me Lexapro.  I began taking it and, the first night, woke up experiencing severe anxiety bordering on a panic attack.  Now, please understand that this is a side effect listed in the pamphlet accompanying the medication.  In a twist of utter injustice, these SSRI (selective serotonin re-update inhibitor) medications can sometimes increase anxiety before decreasing it.  It doesn’t happen to everyone, but it did happen to me.

After 3 days of heightened anxiety and very little sleep, I couldn’t take it anymore.  I was a stranger to myself, completely lost in the sleeplessness, anxiety, and panic.  I could hardly take care of myself, let alone my one month old baby.  After a visit to the ER, I made the decision to voluntarily admit myself to a local inpatient mental hospital.  During my 3-day stay, I was able to see different counselors (some more helpful than others), let the Lexapro get into my system, as well as start taking trazodone to help with the insomnia.

It’s not a choice everyone would make.  And, in hindsight, I’m not even sure I would make the same decision again.  However, upon my return home, I was adamant that facing my fears (being alone with my child, especially during the lonely night-time hours) and getting better were my top priorities.  My mother-in-law came to stay for a week as added support and my family was extra attentive to my overall well-being.  I realize that I’m so very fortunate to have this support system and I fervently pray that all of you are similarly blessed.

***If you aren’t, please, PLEASE reach out to someone, anyone.  Join a mom’s group, a Bible study (if that’s your thing), even a Facebook group.  There are SO many people out there who have gone through this.  We just need to start the conversation and keep it rolling.***

I’m not going to lie.  It was a challenging couple of weeks while the medicine took time to really start working. The trazodone helped immensely with my insomnia and the Lexapro helped slow down my mind so I could separate myself from the deceptive thoughts that anxiety allows to creep in. But it got easier every day and, eventually, I began to recognize myself again.  It’s not an easy role shift, I’ll tell you that.  And it really shouldn’t be, regardless of what’s depicted in movies, television, magazines, etc.  There’s a huge learning curve associated with new parenthood.  Some take to it right away; others need a little/lot more time to adjust and that’s OKAY.

But please trust that it WILL come.  You will learn.  You will adjust. And it will be so, so worth it.

15%-21% of Moms Suffer from a Perinatal Mood Disorder

For the longest time they were saying between 1 out of 8 women suffer from a perinatal (before, during or after childbirth) mood disorder.  Then, they said between 1 out of 7.  And more recently, literature indicates it’s now approximately 15%-21%, which is anywhere between 1 out of 5 and 1 out of 6, with 21% experiencing a postpartum mood disorder.

If you are suffering from a perinatal mood disorder, you can see from these numbers and in many places online–from a multitude of Facebook support pages, blogs and on Twitter–and in newspapers that you are not alone.  For example, in today’s Upworthy, my friend Heidi Koss shares her experience after the birth of her daughters.  She is a PPD survivor and now helps other moms suffering from perinatal mood disorders.  Her story was also mentioned in an NPR article a week ago today.

You need to know when you need to get help from a doctor and/or therapist.  Get it early.  Know the facts.  Know the difference between postpartum blues and postpartum depression (PPD).  Know the difference between PPD, postpartum anxietypostpartum OCD and postpartum psychosis.  Click here for helpful information that can help you.

You need help for you.
You need help for your baby(ies).
You need help for your family as a whole, including your significant other.

I just found out tonight about the fate of Carol Coronado about whom I blogged in May 2014.  She suffered from postpartum psychosis (not PPD as some newspapers allude to), didn’t get the right help and was just sentenced to life in jail.  Carol, her babies, and her husband were failed by the system.  The same system that failed to ensure she got help is punishing her for their failure.  Sound fair to you?  No!  Her case sounds similar to Andrea Yates case nearly 15 years ago.  I pray for Carol and her family.  She has suffered enough and does not need to spend the rest of her life in jail.  I saw a Facebook comment about Carol that triggered me to write this post.  The coldness and lack of understanding are a reflection of just how close-minded people can be.  It amazes me, really.  It’s really hard to beat down stigma when you have such barriers in the way.  But don’t let any of that deter you from getting help.  YOU are important.  Forget these clueless people.  Get the help you need.  Don’t delay!

Whenever you read about these stories in the news, please remember the facts.  Get information from the right resources (links above would be great place to start).  And don’t let stigma and ignorance steer you away from understanding and compassion.  Don’t let stigma, ignorance, and the close-mindedness of people (those who choose not to understand and would rather continue their misogynistic, super hokey, religious extremist mindset in which women are second class citizens) steer you away from getting the help you need to be well again!  Stay strong!  There is help out there!  Reach out to me.  Reach out to the Postpartum Support International Facebook page (closed group) for support.

History in the Making for Maternal Mental Health Advocates

I’ve been super busy at work these days, sometimes having to work at night, which is why I haven’t blogged much lately. But I couldn’t let today go by without mentioning the announcement today about a major step in the right direction….finally!  First thing this morning, I received a text from a friend to check out an article in the NY Times about postpartum depression (PPD), followed immediately by an email from my husband with a link to the same article.

Mental health advocates are excited not just about the news that splashed the headlines of today’s New York Times and NPR about the importance of screening adults for depression.  It’s the acknowledgment–finally–that new and pregnant moms need screening because catching and treating PPD early is crucial to the wellbeing of both the mother and the baby, and to the family unit as a whole.  I’ve blogged in the past about how screening and seeing someone experienced in treating PPD could have prevented my painful experience.  Having the screening recommendation come from the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force is particularly meaningful, as its recommendations have far-reaching impact on things like healthcare (i.e., American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, American Academy of Pediatrics, American Academy of Family Physicians) and health insurance in this country.  In fact, its recommendations appear in the current issue of JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association).

This is a major milestone for maternal mental health advocates in this country.  And it’s about freaking time!  I attribute this milestone to the persistence, hard work, dedication and passion of many, many amazing people either independently acting or as part of organizations formed–too many to list here but foremost on the list is Postpartum Support International (of which I’ve been a member since 2006)–to spread awareness about an all too common condition suffered by mothers that even today people are not aware occurs in 1 out of 7 moms.  Seeing my friends’ names in these articles–Heidi Koss, a survivor/advocate/counselor and Wendy Davis, Executive Director of Postpartum Support International–mentioned makes them all the more meaningful to me.  They are passionate about what they do because they don’t want mothers and their families suffering unnecessarily.

You would think something like screening, which I’ve blogged about numerously in the past, would be mandated by all healthcare professionals who come in contact with expectant/new moms.  In one of my very first blog posts from back in June 2009, I included my suggestions for what screening would entail. Unfortunately, screening has not been embraced because, after all, where there is a positive, there is always a negative.  In this case, there are several negatives, with the biggest being none other than STIGMA, one of the 2 biggest barriers to progress for the battle against PPD.

Stigma–and the ignorance associated with it– comes from resistance to change and attitudes about what screening would mean (“Oh, once a mom is screened positively for PPD, then she will automatically be medicated”).  That, by the way, is totally false.  No one is deliberately trying to medicate every mother and give more business to the pharmaceutical companies.  Again, I have blogged plenty about this in the past, but medication is just one way to treat a perinatal mood disorder and in many cases critical to helping restore the neurochemical imbalance that childbirth has brought about.  Without medication, I might not have survived my PPD.  In most cases, it’s a combination of medication and therapy (like CBT) that is most effective.  In some, less serious cases of PPD, therapy or peer-to-peer support (with a PPD support group led by a survivor) and/or an alternative treatment like meditation or acupuncture is sufficient.

Speaking of which, there is another major barrier, which is what happens once an expectant or new mom screens positively for a perinatal mood disorder….can we find them immediate help?  Although there are more resources now than there were back when I suffered from PPD, we still have a very long way to go.  There is definitely a need for more help among the healthcare, mental healthcare, and peer-to-peer support communities who are experienced in treating perinatal mood disorders.  You’ll all too often hear that there is a long wait to see a psychiatrist (an MD who has the ability to prescribe meds), once you’ve found one that is near you that has experience treating perinatal mood disorders.  Unfortunately, there just aren’t enough mental healthcare practitioners who are experienced in treating perinatal mood disorders.  There aren’t enough mental healthcare practitioners, period.  And among general practitioners, not enough are experienced enough or even have adequate bedside manner to know how to treat/behave toward a mother struggling with a perinatal mood disorder.  I know, because I had seen one of those doctors, and it was a horrible, horrible experience for me.

These are the problems that we need to overcome if we want to truly be able to prevent any more mothers from falling through the cracks.  There are many steps to get where we need to be, but we have attained an important step in the right direction with the recommendation from the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force!

Naomi

Please visit the Postpartum Support International post about Naomi.
Please read and share that post, and let us really try our best to spread awareness about perinatal mood disorders.
We need to do all we can to ensure that everyone who works with maternal mental health in the medical and judicial systems truly understands and is able to identify symptoms and knows how to react and treat a woman who is suffering from a perinatal mood disorder. These encounters can mean life and death, ultimately, for the mother and her child.

candle

Naomi, on this day of your memorial service
With tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat,
I write this.
Though I did not know you personally,
I do know that you suffered greatly
And experienced unimaginable loss
During your time on this earth.
And I am so, so sorry that you did.
What a terrible loss to the community
Of fellow postpartum mood disorder survivors.
Words cannot adequately express
How sorry I am that your pain was so great.
I feel so guilty for not being able to help you
While you were among us.
Society has once again failed another mother
Through its ignorance and lack of adequate support services.
I cry over our loss of you.
I promise you that I will continue to work with the community
Of maternal mental health advocates and survivors
To carry on your advocacy
And your passionate desire
To prevent other mothers from experiencing
The pain and loss you suffered.
Yes, I will continue to work with others to spread the word
With your spirit in us and
With you looking down upon us
That mothers suffering from postpartum mood disorders are
Far from alone,
They are not to blame for their postpartum illness,
And they WILL recover with the right treatment and support.
Rest in peace, Naomi

Let’s Hold Failure of the System Accountable for Tragedies Involving Infanticide

 *** This post may be triggering if you are suffering from postpartum depression (PPD) and are sensitive to negative news events***

I stumbled across this headline on my Twitter feed tonight:  “Three years for Edinburgh mum who killed her baby.”   Wasn’t planning on blogging, but when I clicked on the link to read the article, I was so infuriated that it has motivated me to blog.  Here’s yet another tragic loss from system failure and continued societal blindness to the realities of perinatal mood disorders.

I’ve blogged about this previously…that it seems way too common and easy for people to disassociate the baby from the mother.  That a tragedy like this–a mother named Erin Sutherland who suffered from severe postnatal depression (PND) who smothered her baby–occurred should be viewed from a BIG PICTURE perspective as another example of the system failing a mother AND her baby.  Not just the baby, but the mother as well.  Not just the mother, but the baby as well.

The father of the baby, estranged from Erin Sutherland, and his family felt it was unfortunate that the focus seems to have shifted from the real tragedy at hand….the loss of an innocent baby.  No one can/will contest this, but what people continuously forget is that, had the system NOT failed Erin, the baby would be alive because Erin would have received the treatment she desperately needed.  True, I don’t know the full story here, but the mere words coming out of the prosecutor Iain McSporran’s mouth: “generally speaking six months is a point beyond which PND will no longer be considered a factor” is RIDICULOUS.  Spouting such damning untruths is utterly shameful on his part. Had he bothered to get educated about perinatal mood disorders, those words would not have slipped out of his mouth a la angry let’s-lynch-the-mother-she’s-always-guilty-no-matter-what syndrome.  Mr. McSporran, if you had bothered to become educated about perinatal mood disorders, you would know that it is possible for severe PND to be possible up to the end of the 2nd year or whenever a mother decides to wean her baby.

Why would a mother be turned down for help because ludicrous “rules” state that after six months her condition was no longer deemed to be a “problem factor” for new mothers?  Why are such archaic rules still in existence?  They must be updated with scientific facts!   I thought Edinburgh is supposed to be more up-to-speed on perinatal mood disorders than we are in the states, what with the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale (EPDS) originating from none other than….you guessed it, Edinburgh.  But I guess not!

How could anyone refuse treatment for a mother who is clearly suffering from PND and seeking help for it?!  Especially when the mother had previously received hospital treatment following the birth of an older daughter after being diagnosed with PND and becoming so ill that she needed in-patient care when her child was EIGHT months old! Last I looked EIGHT is more than SIX!!!

The system that created such a nonsensical “rule” is culpable for little Chloe’s death.  It left Erin with no treatment and sealed her and Chloe’s fate.  So terrible that I want to smack some sense into these ignorant lawmakers.  Get with the program! Get educated, for crying out loud!  This patriarchal system catering to old fashioned beliefs based on misogynistic, archaic thinking MUST GO NOW!

In a recent post that also involved another tragedy like this, I posted:

Women around the world continue to be viewed as baby incubators and milk machines, and as such, their physical, mental and emotional wellbeing do not matter in the grand scheme of things.  Their needs as new mothers don’t matter.  BUT THEY DO MATTER.

Mothers are more than incubators.  They are living, breathing, humans just like men are.  Just like babies are.  Heck, people seem to be very quick to forget one basic truth:  Without women, you can’t have babies.  Hellllooooo!  I see all the time hateful comments from the extreme right (here in this country) from women, of all things, picking on other women because they were raised brainwashed into believing misogynistic things that do nothing but damn themselves.  Well, I wish women would unbrainwash themselves.  Use their common sense, not have their religious zealotry make them blinder than bats.  It might make a huge difference once women sided with women, don’t you think?