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Twitter helps make staying current on specific topics of interest a much easier thing to do.  Only problem is, there is SO much information to get through on a daily basis, and not enough time (and energy) for me to do it.  Tweets about postpartum depression (PPD) can tell you a lot in terms of people’s attitudes, swayed by knowledge or ignorance.

There are the tweets that tell you the latest in research findings.

There are the tweets that tell you when a major news outlet like the NY Times publishes an article written about a PPD survivor. An example would be the wonderfully honest piece titled “Meltdown in Motherland” in the Opinion section of the NY Times on May 14th, in which the author Elizabeth Isadora Gold shares her experience with postpartum anxiety.  The couple hundred comments (and you bet I scanned through all of them) that appeared over the course of the next 2 days were actually relatively reasonable and showed more knowledge, compassion, and appreciation for an author’s experience with a maternal mental health issue than some of the comments I’ve had the displeasure of seeing in the past.   Some commenters said they were upset by the harsh comments, but truthfully, I didn’t see any that angered me to the point that I’ve been angered in the past (thankfully).  Not sure if it has anything to do with the comment flagging mechanism or not (i.e., too many flags will cause a comment to get pulled).  But anyway, there was an individual who commented that he and his wife had suffered through a stillbirth and survived the grief  after nearly a year, without the use of any antidepressants…and how he is absolutely certain he (no mention of his wife, though) would not have needed to take any medications.  I replied to that comment as follows:

I wouldn’t be so quick to judge other people’s situations when you don’t even know what they are. There is no one-size-fits-all treatment for PPD. What works for one person may not work for the next person. Every individual is different, and every individual’s situation is different. Some women with PPD may only need medication, some may only need psychotherapy, while others may need a combination of both. The objective is to do whatever it takes in order to feel yourself again using whichever approach you feel most comfortable using. My insomnia, panic attacks and weight loss were so debilitating–and I couldn’t take care of myself or my baby–that I had to take medications to return my brain chemistry back to its normal levels.

And then there are the tweets that tell you how far from educated the public is with respect to postpartum mood disorders, or even just the difference between the postpartum blues and PPD.  An example would be recent rumors that Jennifer Lopez suffered from PPD after she had her twin boys simply because the public caught her being emotional and crying a few days after childbirth.  In her recent interview with E! Online, she quashed those rumors by explaining that her being very emotional 7-10 days after childbirth is the expected behavior of new moms due to hormones crashing after childbirth.  She said she learned that from reading the book “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” which has now been turned into a big screen flick soon to be released…and one in which she is co-starring.

Don’t mean to digress, but that is not a movie I’ll be rushing to pay $12 to see in the theaters.  Why?  Well, for one, the trailer looked too silly and sloppily produced for my taste.  Also, if you visit Lisa Belkins’ article from May 16th on the Huffington Post titled “The Pregnancy Book That Made Me a Nervous Wreck is Now a Movie,” you’ll see my sentiments exactly…no actually, Ms. Belkin verbalizes it a whole lot better than I could ever do.  Do I hear any others out there who agree that the book only increased anxiety levels with the information overload to the point that you stopped reading it, thinking (like I did), “Oh what the heck, I’ll just go with the flow…whatever happens, I’ll just deal with it then.”

I actually would’ve appreciated reading a book like mine during my pregnancy.  Ha, sorry, couldn’t miss the opportunity to mention my book “One Mom’s Journey to Motherhood,” which incidentally is not just a memoir, it’s a self help guide as well.  The health of the family unit is dependent on the health of the mother, so it is SO important that she goes into motherhood knowing what to expect in terms of pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period. This includes how to deal with certain challenges in infant care, keeping stressors to a minimum, and getting plenty of support.  My book contains advice in the form of Do’s and Don’ts for the new mother, the new father, family members and friends. I even share my experience with child-care complications like colic, eczema, and cradle cap—things that can only add to the anxiety levels of the first-time parent, yet pregnancy books and magazines don’t talk enough about.

Well, running across the two tweets that told me about the false JLo PPD rumor and the wonderful story in the NY Times are but random examples of the many, many other tweets that are tweeted on a daily basis.  Those 2 tweets gave me enough to get the juices flowing in my mind of what I wanted to blog about next.  I would love to be able to stay on top of all the tweets that come up in my feed each day, but with all that’s going on in my life right now, it’s just not possible.

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THIS MOTHER’S DAY – LET’S FOCUS ON WHAT REALLY MATTERS

What’s all this recent fuss?
This fuss with yet another ploy
By media to add fuel to the fire
Of moms who breast-feed versus bottle-feed
Of moms who attachment parent, the seemingly new trend,
And of moms like me who are like, what is attachment parenting (or AP) anyway?

Why the lingo?
Why the mompetition?
Why not community?
Why not support for each other?
Why don’t we honor mothers the way other cultures do?

Well, let me tell you why.
Our society is one in which the primary goal is success,
And who’s best at this or that.
Who’s best at motherhood.
Who’s best at their career.
Who breast-feeds the longest.
Who returns to their pre-baby body the quickest.

Our culture is more bent on pitting mother against mother
Than finding ways for them to support each other.
Through the years, our culture has lost its way.
Just think….
Why is good childcare hard to find?
Why is info on PPD so hard to find?
Why are support services for new moms so hard to find?
What are medical professionals who know how to recognize
And treat PPD correctly so hard to find?

Who gives a rat’s tush….
If someone breast-feeds for a few days versus three years?
If someone bottle-feeds because they choose to do so?
If someone bottle feeds because they and/or their baby had to have a….
Life-saving procedure
Or was sick
And had difficulty breastfeeding
And had very little support?
If someone does “AP” or doesn’t even know what the heck that term means
Does it really matter?
And why someone have to even come up with it in the first place?

Haven’t parents been parenting for thousands of years?
Babies have turned out just fine,
And in some ways, even better than they are today!
Were there electronic gadgets and fancy terms for childcare decades ago?
My peers and I grew up without all that
And I would like to think we turned out just fine!

If we want our babies to grow up fine
We feed, hold, kiss, hug, and interact (read/sing/play) with them.
We do the best we can given our personal situation.
Doesn’t matter how expensive our toys are
Or how fancy the name of the trend du jour is,
Or whether we end up bottle-feeding for whatever the reason may be.
Bonding will happen.
Babies will thrive.

Don’t give in to our society’s myopic ploy.
A ploy with a focus on situations that encourage moms to compete with each other.
A society with mothers feeling alone,
Mothers feeling stressed out,
And mothers feeling like they’re not mom enough.
A society that provides very little in the way of
New mom support services,
Comprehensive maternal health (mental/medical) care services,
And awareness campaigns to bust the stigma surrounding perinatal mental health!
And you wonder why the number of moms with PPD are one in eight!
We are bringing it upon ourselves!

What can we do to change things, you ask?
Let’s end the mompetition.
Let’s have moms be supportive of each other.
Let’s create support services to help new mothers and their families.
Let’s have a society that honors its mothers
Not just on Mother’s Day but always!

For all the moms out there, remember self care.
Without it, you cannot care for your babies.
They need you.
As long as you’re doing what YOU feel is right for you and your baby…
And given YOUR situation…
Then filter out all the media tactics and mompetitive attitudes…
Take a deep breath and repeat after me:
“I AM MOM ENOUGH, AND I WON’T FORGET IT.”

For all those who have a mom (or two) you care about
And will be celebrating Mother’s Day with her today,
Please remember (especially if this is a new mom) that the greatest gift
You can give her is emotional and practical support.
Don’t provide advice unless she asks you for it.
Do provide a shoulder to cry on if she’s having a rough day.
Do provide help so she can get the rest she needs
And/or time to do something just for herself,
And last but not least,
Remind her that SHE IS MOM ENOUGH AND SHE SHOULD NOT FORGET IT.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there!

A wish from one mother to another!

xx

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May 8, 2012 – It was a lovely Tuesday at the Chart House Restaurant at Lincoln Harbor, Weehawken, NJ.  Aside from the fact that this is a truly exceptional setting, I had many reasons to be excited about attending my second event with the Hudson Perinatal Consortium.

Jeanne Watson Driscoll and me

First and foremost, I was going to get to see my friend Mariann Moore, Executive Director of the Hudson Perinatal Consortium, whom I hadn’t seen since exactly a year ago, at the last event here at the Charter House.  She is such a warm, caring, and truly lovely individual.  I am so glad I met her at the 2010 Postpartum Support International (PSI) conference in Pittsburgh.

Second,  Jeanne Watson Driscoll PhD, PMHCNS-BC and  Shari I. Lusskin, MD, two very big names in the field of perinatal mood disorders, were speaking in depth about postpartum depression (PPD), postpartum PTSD, postpartum OCD, and postpartum psychosis.  Unlike past sessions of theirs I attended at past PSI conferences, they had a couple hours or so a piece to go over their topics in depth.  Both of them have traveled extensively to share their knowledge of perinatal mood disorders with people all over the world.  I especially LOVE to listen to Dr. Driscoll, because she has a tendency to get all fired up throughout her presentation, and I appreciate her sarcastic humor and directness.  She has her audience cracking up, and I love that about her presentations.

Third, it was a great opportunity to meet conference attendees whose professions entail working with mothers suffering from perinatal mood disorders.  Among those I had the pleasure of meeting was Lisa Madden of MMC Moms.

Fourth, it was a rare opportunity to be away from the office and do something I really enjoy, which is being in the company of such inspiring individuals–all with the scenic backdrop of the Manhattan skyline.

Last, but certainly not least, I was paid the ultimate compliment with Jeanne Watson Driscoll buying a copy of MY book and asking me to sign it, when it was HER book that taught me so much about the biology behind women’s moods. It was her book “Women’s Moods” that helped me understand how and why reproductive hormones  set women apart from men and represent all of the key vulnerable times in a woman’s life.  It helped me understand that women are at the greatest risk of depression and anxiety when they are undergoing dramatic hormonal changes, and it’s during these times in which major biochemical changes occur. Throughout her talk, Dr. Driscoll emphasized the importance of healthcare practitioners to listen carefully to the different puzzle pieces of their patients and to put them together to come up with the appropriate diagnosis and treatment plan that is right for each individual, since each person’s experience is unique.  There can only be an effective diagnosis if a new mom knows to see a doctor early and the doctor suggests a comprehensive examination that takes everything—physical, emotional, and psychological symptoms and external stressors and circumstances—into consideration.

Throughout my book, I reiterate the importance of bedside manner, evaluating the patient as a whole, and educating the patient about the biology behind their illness.  If I had someone like Dr. Driscoll to help me when I was suffering from PPD, I would not have suffered as much as I did.  But then again, if I hadn’t suffered as much as I did, I may not have been as motivated to share my own PPD experience with others through my book and blog!  So, I guess you can say, things happened for a reason!

As I state in my book, for some strange reason, the impact of hormones on women’s mental health is, even now in the twenty-first century, largely ignored. There is simply no excuse for this.  I told Dr. Driscoll that we seriously need to find a way to clone her so patients everywhere can get easy access to therapists like her and we need many more like her that are as passionate about and dedicated to educating people on perinatal mood disorders and realizing the necessity of treating/evaluating patients as a whole , just like we seriously need to clone Liz Friedman and Annette Cycon of MotherWoman for their training and support for mothers and their families!

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Here we are, in the month of May already.  Spring….and Mother’s Day both come to mind.  I know, some of you out there think Hallmark when you hear “Mother’s Day.”  But I have to say it should be way more than that…

Tonight’s post is about….you guessed it…MOTHERS.  Not hard to guess, considering my blog is devoted to maternal mental health.    Mothers have the toughest, yet most rewarding job…. a job that in this society often gets taken for granted…and is an unpaid one at that.  After all, isn’t being a mother an instinctive, no-brainer kind of thing? <shaking head vigorously>

My post from last night mentioned motherhood myths and societal attitudes that don’t help, but rather make motherhood all the more challenging.  The end result is that the new mother often finds herself isolated both in terms of perception and in reality when it comes to having adequate social support.  The motherhood myths, societal attitudes, and social support are things I actually tackle in depth in my book….and I might add, with great relish.  Because I really LOVE to combat false notions that are detrimental to mothers!

Today’s post is about MotherWoman’s latest mission….and what better time to announce as Mother’s Day approaches!  I can’t agree more with the following, which lies at the very heart of that mission:

When you support a mother, you uplift her family.
When you uplift a family, you strengthen their community.
When you strengthen a community, you change the world.

The theme is the same as what I’ve said before and I’ll be happy to say again:

A healthy and happy mother means a healthy and happy family.

Isn’t that the truth?  Yeah, you know it!!!

MotherWoman’s latest mission, which I think is absolutely critical, is to raise $10,000 for scholarships by July 2nd to enable 25 community leaders and professionals working for nonprofits to take a 3-day MotherWoman Support Group Facilitator Training to learn how to provide peer-led support to moms.  This year, the training is taking place in Massachusetts, New Jersey (in June…I plan to be there), Washington, and Guatemala.  There have been requests for training in other locations, which is a wonderfully encouraging thing to hear, because we so desperately need more support groups for mothers out there!!!!  Coincidentally, I was just saying this in my post last night!

Please take a few minutes to watch this video and hear about the impact this project has had on four mothers and how they are now giving back to other mothers by leading MotherWoman Support Groups in their communities.

 

Please consider helping to support the project by donating and/or spreading the word about this mission to others on Facebook, Twitter, your blog, via email, or even in person!

Click here to donate and see some of the neat perks to donating.  Any amount would be appreciated! 

Also, if you are interested in applying for a scholarship yourself, contact Liz@motherwoman.org.

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I mentioned in a previous post how Gwyneth Paltrow had “come out of the closet” nearly two years ago regarding her postpartum depression (PPD) experience after the birth of her son Moses.  I am happy to see that she is continuing to talk about her experience, this time in the premiere episode of Lifetime’s The Conversation with Amanda de Cadenet. Check out the Celebrity Baby Scoop article and US Weekly article that I stumbled across, thanks to a Facebook post yesterday from my friend Liz Friedman over at MotherWoman.

What caught my attention was the following quote from Gwyneth:

“We think that it makes us bad mothers or we didn’t do it right, but it’s like, we’re all in this together. I never understand why mothers judge other mothers, like, ‘What do you mean you didn’t breastfeed? What do you mean you didn’t do this?’ It’s like, ‘Can’t we all just be on each other’s side?’ It’s so hard anyway. Can’t we all help each other get through it? There’s a shame attached to it because if you say, ‘I had a baby and I couldn’t connect to the baby,’ it’s like, ‘What is wrong with you?’”

Yes, yes, yes….100% with you on that Gwyneth, as I’m sure many moms would agree as well.  Basically, this is the age-old let’s-judge-other-moms-rather-than-help-each-other thing.  Or let’s-keep-quiet-because-I’m-too-ashamed-to-let-others-know-I’m-not-the-perfect-mom-that-bonds-immediately-and-breastfeeds-instinctively thing.

If we’re so gung ho on breastfeeding, then the goal of breastfeeding advocates should be for every mother who needs help to get it whenever and wherever it’s needed.  Just like my past post on breastfeeding and a section in my book in the chapter on motherhood myths, don’t assume that every mom breastfeeds without any issues.  Don’t make a mom feel bad if she decides not to breastfeed for whatever her reason may be.  One should refrain from judgmental tactics. And don’t assume that every woman has smooth pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum experiences.  Why do these myths, or attitudes, need to exist, anyway?  What purpose does it serve, other than to crush the self esteem of a new mother?  How about helping out a fellow mother instead of judging, criticizing, isolating, gossiping?    Let’s say we do away with these myths and attitudes?  Let’s come up with solutions in the form of peer-led new mom/postpartum groups, like MotherWoman and Santa Barbara Postpartum Education for Parents (SBPEP), all across the country.  In cities, suburbs, and rural areas.

And Gwyneth also speaks for moms like me who suffered from PPD and understand that it’s awareness that will empower and make a difference for mothers.

“That’s why I talk about it, because even the awareness of it started to diminish it…..Because I didn’t feel like I’m dying or I’m crazy — period. It’s like, ‘Oh, this is a thing. This is a real thing and these are the symptoms and I have them all.’”

As I stated in the introduction to my book reading last Thursday, I wrote my book based on what I was so desperate to find when I was suffering from PPD myself—comfort, hope of recovery, and helpful tips and facts to help validate that PPD is a real illness with physical symptoms and needs treatment, just as any other illness like diabetes has physical symptoms and needs treatment.

Knowledge is power.

Knowledge–which in the case of PPD, is gained by talking to others and reading about it on blogs, in books, and in articles on the Internet and in magazines–has a tremendous normalizing effect.

Knowledge is key in keeping fear at bay, since fear typically rules in the presence of the unknown.

Knowledge about PPD–what it is, what the symptoms are, and whether you’re at risk–will make you less likely to panic over what is happening to you, less likely to feel helpless and hopeless, and more likely to know where and whom to seek help from immediately.

Knowledge of what is causing you to feel the way you feel can help minimize these very negative feelings. Never hearing any other mothers say they’ve experienced any of these negative feelings, you may end up thinking, incorrectly, that you are completely alone in what you’re experiencing. Not knowing that PPD is causing these feelings, you won’t know what’s wrong with you and fear, needlessly, that you will never return to your old self again.  I didn’t know what was happening to me, so I feared needlessly that I would never return to my old self again.

Let’s keep the conversation about PPD going.  By keeping an open dialogue about PPD going–be it via written format on blogs, books or magazines or in day-to-day conversations we have with others or on TV and/or radio if you have access/connections to media outlets–we have a much greater chance at combating the stigma behind perinatal mood disorders and any other challenges a new mom faces.  Let’s come up with ways to support mothers and increase public awareness!

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I made the following comment yesterday on Facebook in response to a friend who’s been supportive with respect to the endoscopy I was scheduled to have today, which incidentally went well and I’m now just waiting for the biopsy results (I hate that word…can’t they come up with another word other than “biopsy”):

The first time for anything is always a bit anxiety-provoking.

Makes sense, right?  At least for me it does.  There are a number of people that are exceptions to this…or at least they maintain the appearance of not being easily phased by things…. like first time book events, for instance.  Ahem, and I think I can name a few people I know who fall in that category….I won’t mention them here, but you know who you are!  And you are constant sources of inspiration to the fraidy-cat that I am.

Well, never having done a book event before, I was nervous as heck in the days leading up to it.  It would have been in the weeks leading up to it as well if I hadn’t been as busy with work and other matters (including concern for my mother who had had spinal surgery a few weeks ago and just went home today from the extended-care facility she’s been staying at for the past 4 weeks).  I only started preparing for the book event last Sunday.  I thought it was just a matter of picking an excerpt and reading it out loud until I felt comfortable.  But it went a little beyond that.  Thankfully, I received some helpful direction from a friend of a friend who is a fellow author.  He very quickly responded to my Facebook message last Sunday morning, giving me a quick run-down on what he did for his first book event.  He indicated, to my dismay, that he had started preparing for his first reading THREE weeks in advance of the event date…and here I was preparing 4 days in advance.   Trying to keep me from panicking, he indicated that it could be done in less than 3 weeks. But there is quite a bit of difference between 3 weeks and 4 days…GULP!

Anyway, I’d hate to think what would have happened had I NOT received his helpful tips.  From the time I received his tips last Sunday morning, I immediately went to work taking the excerpts I had picked and whittling it down to 3000 or so words.  Enough for a 15-minute read, which is just the right amount of time before people’s eyes started to glaze over. As soon as I got my excerpts ironed out, I put together a brief Intro to the reading.  On each of the four days preceding my book event, which was this past Thursday, I practiced reading the Intro and excerpts out loud ten and three times a day, respectively.  I even staked out a room at work to practice my Intro five times for 30 minutes during lunch!   By Thursday, I could speak to my Intro just referencing it occasionally, and I grew comfortable with the reading of my excerpts.  My worst fear was blanking out like a deer in headlights from the nervousness which I knew without a doubt would confront me as I got up in front of the individuals who came to the book event.

Fortunately, that didn’t happen.  My last speech class (thank you Nicole of NWK Consultants!), had paid off immensely.  But that doesn’t mean I won’t continue to try to combat my fear of public speaking.  I will be attending more public speaking classes, and I’m even contemplating joining the local Toastmasters by me.

I would like to acknowledge that my very first book event, which took place at the Odyssey Bookshop in S. Hadley, Massachusetts on Thursday, April 26, 2012, would not have been as successful as it was had it not been for my friends Liz Friedman and Annette Cycon of MotherWoman.  They rounded up a great group of ladies who took the opportunity to also share their stories as well.  Nearly everyone shared, including Andrea, author of the blog Postpartum and Pigtails, who wrote this very nice post about the event!  And in this group, I found out there are at least 3 ladies also interested in writing/publishing their memoirs.  That truly thrilled me to hear!  And you can be sure I will help them any way I can!

Now, all I need is to continue with book events locally, following the same format as this past book event.  If I can continue to encourage women to speak up about their experiences in a group and inspire people to publish their stories, I would’ve succeeded in my mission, which if you’ve read my book, you’ll know with my call both at the beginning and at the very end of my book:

I am a PPD survivor. Hear me roar. Will you join me?

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ILLINOIS:

With Mother’s Day around the corner with May fast approaching, it’s fitting that some states like Illinois observe a Perinatal Mood Disorder Awareness month.  Healthcare Alternative Systems (H.A.S.) is gearing up for its Fifth Annual Treating Moms Well luncheon to raise funds in support of its Postpartum Depression Program.  This year, the luncheon will be at the Standard Club in Chicago on Friday, May 11th 2012. Click here to register. Click here to access the Treating Moms Well Facebook page to participate in a series of contests with fabulous prizes, including a $100 gift certificate to Sweet Pea’s Studio (good for a massage or yoga classes).  Click here to see pictures from last year’s luncheon.

Proceeds from this event will be used to raise awareness and provide postpartum depression (PPD) services to women with limited financial resources.  Services include clinical/psychiatric evaluations, individual and family psychotherapy, group therapy, medication, and case management.

H.A.S. has been a leading non-profit provider of English and Spanish behavioral health care in the Chicago area since 1974.  Additionally, H.A.S. offers the only community-based PPD program–not to mention it’s the only one of its kind available to Spanish-speaking women–in the State of Illinois.

NEW YORK:
[**I will be signing books**]

Join the Sounds of Silence Foundation’s 5th annual run/walk to help raise funds in the effort to increase awareness of perinatal mood disorders, such as postpartum depression (PPD), postpartum OCD, and postpartum psychosis.   Not only is this for an excellent cause, it will be a nice opportunity to race (or walk) a beautiful 5K boardwalk along the Atlantic Ocean.

Date:  Saturday, May 19, 2012

Time:  Registration from 8:30-9:15; race/walk begins at 9:30 AM

Place:   Jones Beach State Park, Wantagh, Long Island (Field 5)

Registration:  $25 (adults); $15 (11-18); $5 (10 and under); $3 additional on day of event.  Click here to register in advance.

Other Race Details:  The top female and male runners, plus top fundraiser, will receive awards.  Three years ago, I was one of the two top fundraisers, bringing in over $1,000 (as an individual).

Donation:  If you can’t participate in person but would like to make a tax-deductible donation (and encourage others to do so as well), please click here.  Proceeds from donations will benefit the Postpartum Resource Center of New York.

Click here for more information on the Sounds of Silence, Friends of the Postpartum Resource Center of New York.

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I’m surprised to say that, and I only realized this a couple of days ago, that the 1st link that comes up under the term “Join the Anti-Bullying Movement” on Yahoo and Google is mine!  It’s not as if I coined the phrase, and it’s not a new concept, so not sure why…especially since my blog is dedicated primarily to postpartum depression/maternal mental health issues and awareness.  But I’ll take it! 

This is an important issue, and it is so disheartening when you hear, just today that another child, this time a 14 year old in Iowa, has become another victim of bullycide (the term used for children who commit suicide as a consequence of bullying).   Bullying must stop!  The only way that’s going to happen, though, is for students, school staff, and parents to band together and prevent further tragedies from occurring.  No child should have to feel so victimized that they succumb to depression, low self esteem, cutting, etc.  I guest posted a few days ago over at the blog My Kindness Counts about my reflections on the movie “Bully” that was recently released.  My post includes things we can all do to to try to put an end to bullying. My Kindness Counts is written by a young girl named Jessica, whose mission is to encourage young people from around the nation to work together to come up with more positive ways to address bullying in our communities.   I applaud her efforts, as well as the efforts of a growing number of other young folks in this country, to try to help fellow teens get through what I refer to as some of the most challenging years of their lives.

The roots of depression most often stem from early childhood through teenage years.  Early bonding experiences with parents, stability of living conditions, quality friendships and an environment in which the parents serve as positive role models and are nurturing are key to minimizing self esteem issues that seem to be what so many youth struggle with.  Verbal, emotional and physical abuse, a parent(s) that is depressed and/or an alcoholic, and bullying in school all take a tremendous toll on a child’s sense of security and self esteem.  The result of low self esteem include eating disorders, cutting, doing drugs, drinking, and depression. It doesn’t help that the teenage years are a time in which physical and behavioral changes occur that challenge self confidence levels and a sense of identity (in which a sense of belonging is important) as well.  The way a young person reacts to adversity, like bullying for example, depends on his/her overall emotional health and level of self confidence.

Our youth represent our future.  Let’s help make sure their teenage years are positive experiences.  Let’s help make sure depression rates don’t continue to climb.  Let’s build a culture of empathy.  Let’s speak up about mental health issues and keep the attitudes about these issues going in a positive direction via the daily dialogues we have, rather than continuing to sweep them under the rug with a See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, there’s nothing wrong, they’ll get over it, attitude….and an attitude that perpetuates the stigma and ignorance that has kept us in the dark, all blind, deaf, and mute for far too long.  The statistics indicate that each and every one of us knows someone who is struggling with depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolar disorder, or some other mental illness.  We need to get a grip on reality, smell the coffee…whatever!  You get the picture….or do you?  I surely hope so!

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In response to an article in the UK’s The Guardian written by Barbara Ellen and titled “‘Postnatally depressed’ dads? Give me a break.” and subtitled “Can’t females have anything just for themselves, without men barging in, not even a foul debilitating condition directly related to the physical act of pregnancy and childbirth?” please see Lauren Hale’s wonderful rebuttal.  And another rebuttal I discovered, thanks to Lauren, on the Mind Hacks blog.

I especially love this part from Lauren’s post:

This is not solely a male v. female issue. This is not men attempting to lay claim to “…a foul, debilitating condition directly related to the physical act of pregnancy and childbirth?” This is a family issue, just as it is with a mom. This is a mental health issue. Men, yes, are capable of experiencing depression. It doesn’t make them any less of a man, it doesn’t mean we suddenly have to contend with “male PND.” It means we should be understanding, accepting, and supportive of fathers, a group who is largely forgotten after the birth of a child and is simply assumed to carry on as if his life has not changed.

Bravo, Lauren!

For The Guardian to allow such an article to be posted is shameful, just as the article writer herself should be ashamed.  She is preventing progress in the public awareness and de-stigmatizing of mental health issues.  If I didn’t know better, I’d think she was a man-hater.  Her words describing her feelings are so vicious, so blatantly against men, you’d think she hated men.  Her dragging men through the mud for something that she is clearly biased about and attempting to influence the public to believe in–even though she so clearly and curiously indicates in the research statistics she quotes as evidence that there are indeed a significant percentage of men who get depressed in the first year after their babies are born–isn’t right.  Not right at all.  The Guardian was foolish to have allowed this to get published at all.

Ms. Ellen just put herself in the shoes of the misinformed, judgmental, and downright mean and self-righteous commenters that I felt compelled to address nearly 2 years ago with this post titled “Fathers and Postpartum Depression.”  I’ve said it all before, and really don’t feel like saying it all again.  There’s not much more to add to what I said in that post.  Fathers can absolutely get postpartum depression too.  Semantics, schmemantics.

What do I mean in terms of semantics?  Let me explain with this excerpt from my book.  I don’t have a lot more to say at this point than this.

People are taking the term postpartum way too literally. Postpartum depression is depression that occurs after a baby is born. It can happen to adoptive parents. It can happen to fathers. Period. Perhaps if we just changed the name of the depression experienced by fathers, so we call it something else, there will be less misunderstanding by the society at large. It seems that, while people may generally agree that men can be depressed by certain biological, sociological, and environmental factors (e.g., sleep deprivation, anxiety, a spouse who has PPD, lack of support) after the birth of a baby, it seems the general population believes the term PPD is reserved for new moms only. After all, men don’t give birth and don’t even have the same hormones that fluctuate so wildly from start to finish.

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I’m annoyed.  I wasn’t going to blog tonight, but just had to, after seeing a Yahoo headline titled “Beyonce Shares Stunning, Make-Up Less Bikini Pic” and then of course you see a picture of her just as the title indicates.  Stunning.  Make-up less (i.e., naturally beautiful). Bikini. Okay, we all know that Beyonce is beautiful.  But must we focus so darn much on the fact that she’s able to look as stunning as ever in a B-I-K-I-N-I weeks after having a baby?!  Pleeeeease.  C’mon media.  Stop it.  Stop rubbing into the faces of all mothers out there that this is the way it should be–i.e., gorgeous and in shape a few weeks after having a baby….and if you aren’t then there must be something wrong with you!  <insert disdainful suck-teeth noise>

Media, you do such a great job of perpetuating this fallacy.  Too good of a job, actually.  Do you realize just how badly you make 99% of the moms out there feel?  Oh yeah, that’s right.  You don’t care.  After all, it’s glamor and stardom that make money for your women’s magazines, right?  But do you understand how the celebrity hot mama out there actually gets into shape with personal trainers on a daily basis?  That they have the time to do this because they have nannies to take care of their babies night and day?  That they can afford this star treatment, and 99% of moms out there can only dream of such a lifestyle and in fact struggle with the realities of coping with motherhood all too often with very little help?!

New moms generally find themselves 1) struggling with a topsy-turvy emotional state due to the tremendous hormonal crash that occurs with childbirth, 2) being a first-time mom and struggling to learn how to understand their babies cries, 3) breastfeeding with oftentimes tremendous difficulty, 4) dealing with uncertainty and a great deal of anxiety that they’re doing the best they can in caring for their babies, and 5) struggling with extreme sleep deprivation. Yes, it’s great to be able to successfully squeeze in some exercise a few times a week.  But it’s not unusual for a new, sleep-deprived (and maybe even depressed) mom to feel exhausted and put exercise and self care, in general, at the bottom of her list of things to do.

It’s not just Beyonce I’m trying to poke at….yes, I realize one of my recent posts was about that whole deal with her in Lenox Hospital hogging up the floor and preventing parents from seeing their babies in the NICU.  I don’t have it out for her.  I happen to like her.  But when I see a situation in which society, or in this case media, is perpetuating a situation that lowers the self esteem of moms who have better things to do than worry about whether their bodies can return to their pre-baby state right away, I’m gonna damn well blog about it!

It happens all the time. This emphasis on beauty and body.  Covers of magazines that you can’t avoid, even as you are waiting on line to pay at a supermarket.  They are everywhere.  Ugh!  I got my thoughts out on my blog.  But that’s about it.  There won’t be any changes in my lifetime when it comes to how media chooses to focus on the things that mean the least in the grand scheme of things.

But I want the mom who sees images of beautiful post-baby bods to try not to pay any heed to them.  That’s not the norm.  Not at all.

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Looking for a non-judgmental forum through which new moms can come together for support, learn ways to cope with the stress of first-time motherhood, and share difficulties in adjusting to motherhood…..all while participating in the comfort and privacy of your own home?

Regroup Therapy offers video support groups for new moms experiencing postpartum depression (PPD) and/or difficulties adjusting to motherhood.  Each group is moderated by a licensed therapist who has experience treating PPD.

Have privacy concerns? The only information about you that will be shared with anyone is your first name.

Worried about your appearance?  No one’s going to know whether you’ve brushed your teeth, taken a shower or even changed out of your pajamas.  In fact, PJs are welcome!

Want to know that you’re not alone in your experience?  You can see the faces of the other participants and of the moderator, as if you were in the same room with them.

Not sure if you have the right equipment to join?   Accessing the video support groups are easy.  No special equipment other than a PC with broadband Internet connectivity and webcam is needed. Before joining a session, be sure to click here for instructions and click here

When’s the next session and how much is it going to cost me?  The next FREE session moderated by Dr. Pec Indman, co-author of “Beyond the Blues” will take place on April 13, 2012 from 1:00-2:15 PM EST (or 12:00-1:15 PM CST). Yes, you heard right.  FREE! During its beta (or launch) period, Regroup Therapy is offering FREE sessions.  All that they ask of you is to provide a minute of your time to provide feedback after the session.

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In the Massachusetts area?  Or don’t mind a little road trip?

Come join me for the first book reading/signing event for my newly-released book “One Mom’s Journey to Motherhood: Infertility, Childbirth Complications, and Postpartum Depression, Oh My!”  I’m excited….and nervous at the same time!

Here are the details!

Date:    April 26, 2012 (Thursday)

Time:   7:00 PM

Place:   Odyssey Bookshop, 9 College Street #4, South Hadley, MA 01075

I am excited to announce that MotherWoman (located in the Five College area) will be co-hosting the event!  Program Director, Liz Friedman, will start the event off with information about perinatal mood disorders, why social support is so critical to new mothers and their families, and the mission, philosophy and information about MotherWoman’s Mother/Postpartum Support Groups.

Liz will be followed by a number of mothers in the community who would like to share their postpartum (depression) experiences.

The event will conclude with:

• Book excerpt reading
• Q&A  for MotherWoman and me
• Book signing

Hope to see you there!

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Okay, so much for the 6 blog posts I still have yet to post.  This one now takes precedence!

The purpose of tonight’s post is to provide a wonderful example of PPD moms/survivors speaking up when they see something misleading (to put it nicely) about postpartum depression (PPD) in the media.  This time it was an article over at babycenter.com titled “Can color cure PPD?”  What?  Whoa!  Hold on to your horses.  <record scratch>  I had to do a double take, and then when I did, I realized with dismay “Oh, great! Here we go again. Another false claim to an easy way out of PPD.  A reliable cure for PPD. And yes, this time it’s in the form of….hold onto your seat….COLOR THERAPY!  All you need to do is purchase these beautifully-colored tank tops and bras, and voila, NO MORE PPD!”

Seems like all the reactions to this article in the form of tweets and blog posts occurred during work hours for me, so by the time I realized what was going on, the damage control had already been done.  The title was changed to a much more realistic and acceptable one “Can color help postpartum blues?”  Much, much better and thank you babycenter.com!  And thank you to all the individuals who tweeted, posted on Facebook, and wrote blog posts!  Look at the good that comes out of speaking up!

I feel so encouraged by this, because such concern and diligence for public awareness is of utmost importance in combating the plague that refuses to be cured….otherwise known as STIGMA.  Kudos to all the fellow stigma/myth busters and maternal mental health champions (a/k/a #PPDArmy)!  I am so, so glad to see how the growing number of PPD moms are on the alert and addressing ridiculousness like this.

This is one of my favorite tweets I spotted.  It’s by @SocraticMrMeth: “seriously. #PPD kills and @Babycenter has whipped back to the 50′s to suggest women try prettying up some, not ‘SEE A DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY’.”

I’d like to highlight the efforts of the following #PPDArmy, all of whom I know from Twitter:

1. Amanda’s tweet: “I am disgusted that you would use #PPD to market tank tops! Way to make #PPDmoms feel no support!”
2. Kimberly’s tweet: “I’m actually wearing neon bra and matching undies. Last time I checked I was still depressed.”
3. Esther Dale’s comment on the babycenter.com Facebook page.
4. Comment to the article by Lexy: “As a two-time sufferer of PPD, I opened this with genuine interest. I was then met with a somewhat bland description of postpartum depression which quickly transferred into a sales pitch for a tank top. Granted, I love clothes too, and I’d probably be very interested in this shirt otherwise. PPD is a bigger, uglier beast than that – clothes and bright colors won’t ‘cure’ it. It almost makes PPD sound like a malady a new mom can quickly overcome or ‘snap out of.’ I’m normally not one to be argumentative, but this subject hit close to home.”
5. Comment to the article by Amanda: “As a mom currently suffering from PPD that required hospitalization, continued therapy, and meds I find it offensive that you would use PPD as a way to market tank tops…I have been an avid user of your site but will no longer be visiting. I find this as inappropriate as if the headline read Can Color Cure Cancer? No it can’t.”
6. Comment to the article by Stephanie: “That title is offensive. PPD is not just being sad after having a baby. It’s not about the stress of the adjustment. It’s not about feeling frumpy and different. It is a medical condition that makes some women want to harm themselves or their babies. It can literally ruin the bonding between mother and child.”
7. Comment to the article by Andrea: “I find this pretty offensive that you could even suggest that color could help postpartum blues!!! As someone who has been through ppd, I know that seeing brighter colors didn’t cure me. This makes me sad that there are women out there really struggling & may find hope when seeing a title like this then just to be disappointed. There is obviously still a lot for you to learn about postpartum mood disorders.”
8. And of course there was Lauren, author of the My Postpartum Voice blog and #PPDChat moderator on Twitter, armed with her wit, came up with this tweet: “So we should have been prescribed a colour wheel instead of meds and therapy?”  Speaking of Lauren if you haven’t been over to her awesome post in response to this article, then please hop on over there now!  Here’s an excerpt:  “Postpartum Depression is a diagnosis. It’s not a marketing tool, people…….Dear marketers, please, do not use the term “cure for PPD” in your materials. It’s highly offensive and ultimately disingenuous to vulnerable mothers and desperate family members truly searching for successful treatment options.”

I so wish there was such a mechanism as a real-time bleep for every ignorant word used in conjunction with perinatal mood disorders.  But we are much better-equipped for handling such situations than we were just a few years ago, thanks to the #PPDArmy!

You ladies give me hope.  You ladies rock!

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A quick post tonight.  I have 6 posts I want to work on, but want to be sure I get this out tonight, as tomorrow night is the debut of the PBS special “Healthbeat.”  Tune in 10:30 PM EST and watch Emmy Award-winning journalist Sara Lee Kessler as she travels around the country interviewing individuals behind postpartum depression (PPD) programs and research.  Click here to read more and for a more complete listing of the television channels that will be airing the show.

Among those interviewed include Dr. Katherine Wisner, a renowned researcher at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center and Dr. David Rabinow, Samantha Meltzer-Brody, MD, and Chris Raines, RN of the UNC inpatient perinatal psychiatry unit, about which I blogged a couple times previously.  Commentaries will be provided by various medical/mental health professionals, like Susan Stone (author of the Perinatal Pro blog), who specialize in treating PPD patients.  I’m particularly excited because I have had the pleasure of seeing Dr. Katherine Wisner and Dr. David Rabinow at past Postpartum Support International conferences, and I’ve met and chatted with Chris Raines.

Among the programs that will be looked at include New Jersey’s Speak Up When You’re Down and New Jersey’s maternal and child health consortia–yet another reason why I am looking forward to watching this television special!

I hope you will join me in watching this show that will be sure to educate the public on the current state of PPD research and programs, those dedicated to helping moms and their families struggling with a postpartum mood disorder, as well as those dedicated to breaking down the barriers that have existed for far too long.

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I am excited!  Why?  There is steadily growing support and realization that something must be done to stop the bullying that is so negatively impacting our youth.  Bullying hurts.  It hurts emotionally.  It damages self esteem at a time when kids are at their most vulnerable…their teenage years. Bullying causes depression.  Bullying has the potential to kill.  And this includes cyber bullying.

States like New Jersey are trying to keep bullying at bay with legislation. In fact, 36 states include cyberbullying in their anti-bullying laws.  But what I see happening here in New Jersey is that our school systems are struggling with the Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights.  What we also need is awareness.  Kids and parents alike must all be aware that bullying is an extremely serious matter that can potentially have irreversible consequences.  Now with social media so prevalent, with technological capabilities like texting, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube videos, and the Internet in general, we need to consider cyber bullying as a huge concern.  Parents need to know how best to ensure their children’s safety while using such social media.  Speaking of which, I will be attending an anti-bullying and cyberbullying session for parents in my school district next Thursday night.

Some of my regular blog followers already know how I feel about bullying, as they’ve seen me blog in the past about it.  So, what’s it all got to do with postpartum depression (PPD)?  It’s important to remember that many cases of depression surface during the teenage years and follow you throughout life.  One of the primary risk factors of PPD is a history of depression. I delve into relevant statistics and risk factors in my book. And you may be interested in checking out this previous post about bullying, which includes many links to articles/resources.  Here’s another previous post you may be interested in checking out, written in the wake of Tyler Clementi’s suicide in 2010.

If you haven’t heard by now, the Weinstein Company is behind the new movie “Bully” coming to certain theaters throughout the country, starting with New York City next Friday, March 30th!   From the bottom of my heart, thank you Harvey Weinstein, for putting a spotlight on such an important issue!  You may have heard that there are efforts underway to try to change the “R” rating (due to the use of the F word six times) to a PG-13 rating.  I along with the over 463,000 people who have signed the petition started by 17-year-old Katy Butler, fervently believe that this movie must be seen by all middle and high school students!

I love Cynthia Lowen’s Huffington Post article titled “Give Kids the Respect They’re Due,” which supports the rationale for leaving the F words in the movie.

“BULLY bears witness to the violence, intimidation, threats, derogation and abuse 13 million American kids will experience this year. We made this film to give voice to those for whom bullying is a daily reality and to honestly depict bullying in such a way as to make it impossible to dismiss as ‘kids being kids’ or a ‘normal’ rite of passage…… To take away this language, or prevent kids from hearing the words that reflect their own experiences, is to look the other way, to gloss over the suffering and to continue to perpetrate the myth that has allowed bullying to become so entrenched in our communities. To pretend this language doesn’t exist denies bullied kids who wake up day after day, and get on that bus, or walk through the halls of their schools, knowing the gauntlet of harm they’re likely to face, the dignity and acknowledgement of bravery they’re due.”

What I’d like to ask you to do is to join me in the anti-bullying movement today.  Here are some of the ways in which you can do so, other than reading my two previous posts on the topic (links in the body of my post above):

1. Click here to find out more about the movie and to watch the trailer.  Go see it, if it comes to a theater near you!  I will be going to see it soon after the New York City premiere happening on March 30th.
2. If you haven’t yet signed the petition, please do so!
3. Have you taken a photo with the NO BULLY sign yet?
4. Become familiar with your state’s anti-bullying laws. Participate in your school district’s anti-bullying initiatives.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for joining the movement!

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I have a whole bunch of posts pending…more than I have the time to devote to writing.  Lots of ideas….so little time!

Anyway, I picked this article I read in Parenting.com, parts of which really resonated with me.  The article, “When Postpartum Depression Lasts” by Susanna Sonnenberg, reflects the author’s own PPD experience, which seems to have had a long lasting impact on her, so much so that she has residual feelings of loss, sadness and painful reflections on her first months at being a mother.

How well one mom is able to come to terms will differ from the next mom and will depend on a number of factors such as how severe her symptoms were, whether she was quickly and effectively treated, and whether she received some sort of therapy to cope with her feelings of loss (e.g., lost opportunities in bonding), guilt (e.g., for experiencing PPD to begin with), sadness, etc.   Therapy sessions, journaling/blogging, and providing other mothers with support are some of the ways PPD survivors come to terms with their experiences.

There are women who– like Marg Stark, fellow Mount Holyoke College alumna and author of What No One Tells the Mom– are unable to return to their pre-baby emotional selves. For these women, it seems that the biology behind their moods is permanently altered during the childbirth process.

As for me–and I can only speak for myself here–I pretty much returned to my pre-baby emotional self–except, that is, where it concerns my pre-baby body. As I indicated in my previous blog post titled “Just Because I’m Blogging about PPD Doesn’t Mean…”, I’ve managed to come to terms with my experience, finding it very therapeutic to journal my thoughts and feelings into my book and my blog, meet other PPD survivors and subject matter experts, and help some moms along the way. I did return to my pre-pregnancy weight shockingly fast thanks to the rapid, unintentional weight loss caused by my PPD.  But my completely sedentary lifestyle and confinement within my house for over 3 months did a number on my body. It took a while for my legs to not get tired so easily from simply walking at the nearby mall.  My triglycerides level was at an all-time high (nearly 400), probably thanks to the chemical upheaval from my childbirth experience.  With the help of daily jump roping (400 jumps in about 5 min) for a few months, I was thankfully able to drop the levels by 50%. I had back pain and left hand numbness issues (which turned out to be a pinched nerve from misaligned vertebrae), both of which were resolved by a few visits to my chiropractor.  It also took a while for my hair to re-gain its former thickness.

Do I wish I could provide advice and comfort to others I know, and would being able to do so give me a sense of satisfaction?  Yes!

Would I feel less alone in my own PPD and motherhood experience, knowing that others have had similar experiences–thereby, normalizing my own experience?  A resounding Yes!

Do I envy those who have snappy childbirth experiences?  Hell, yeah!

Do I envy the Gillian’s of the world?  I’d be lying if I said No.

But remember, the key difference between the author’s experience and Gillian’s lies in the amount of support they received.  According to Gillian, she had tons, while the author had very little, if any.  The following sounds so much like my own circumstances:

“In my experience, having a new baby was a lonely trial, friendless, sunless, sleepless…..By choice, I lived thousands of miles from a difficult family, and few of my friends had children. I was without a guide, and every demand of the baby’s felt overwhelming…..I didn’t want to leave [the hospital], didn’t know how we’d do the blanket [in reference to swaddling] at home.”

She assumed that Gillian would need her advice because she would need it, just like she would’ve liked to get it but didn’t, as a first-time mother.

“[She] opened the door, beaming wide, the baby propped over her shoulder; [and] I noticed the wood floor, sun shining onto it through the French doors, dust-free, crumb-free. Her hair was clean. Her laptop stood open on the empty dining table……’I don’t want to tell my friends,’ she said, ‘but [the baby's] sleeping six hours at a stretch.’…..She praised her in-laws, so helpful and available, told me how excited she was for her mother’s next visit, listed the nonstop help of friends and acquaintances. Her story of becoming a mother was about family and support and glorious spring and strength and new pain and two pushes. Two pushes.”

The picture she paints of Gillian–a woman who appeared to take to motherhood like ducks take to water right from the get-go, like they were born to do so without training of any sort–is one of a woman who appears as if she were born to be a mother, all radiant and confident.  She looked perfect, the house looked perfect, her baby was able to sleep early on in enviously long stretches, and she claimed she received tons of help from friends and family.  And all this after a mere two pushes. The perfect pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood experience all rolled up into one.  I devote a chapter of my book to saying that such perfect experiences are not representative of what all women go through, contrary to what societal beliefs and motherhood myths would have you believe.  Though it’s definitely nice to wish for smooth experiences, it really is best to keep your expectations in check.  Trust me.  Hope for the best…you know how the saying goes.

Like the author, I would like to have the opportunity to offer my help and advice to other new moms, thinking they would need and appreciate it, just as I would’ve appreciated it during my first stab at being a mother. Just like the author, I’ve found that not everyone is going to need or even ask for any help and advice.  My friends and relatives all seemed to have no need for my advice/help, even while knowing what I had gone through, with the PPD and all.  Which makes me feel like I’m the only one in my immediate circle of friends and family who has ever experienced PPD.  The lack of PPD may be due to the abundant support they receive from family during the first critical weeks of motherhood and smooth childbirth experiences (after all, lack of adequate emotional/practical support and a traumatic childbirth experience are risk factors for PPD).  In fact, many of my Chinese friends had their mothers stay with them for the first 2-3 months.  Either the mothers flew in from overseas and stayed for that time period, or they happened to live nearby and came over everyday to help out.  I look at and think about those situations with envy, thinking that that is the way it is supposed to be….and yet why didn’t I have such fortune?  Somewhat selfishly, I’ve yearned to find a friend or relative with a similar experience with respect to childbirth complications, uncertainty at being a new mother and taking care of an infant for the first time and/or having to deal with PPD.  After all, it’s natural to feel the need to find someone with similar experiences to try to normalize your own experience…it would help you feel less alone.

“I’d expected her to feel alone and desperate, and she didn’t. I’d expected that she’d need my support, that no matter how many good minutes she had, the bad hours would overwhelm her. I needed her to be like me, so that I could be the wise one now, the healed and the mighty; then my loneliness and depression wouldn’t have been for naught. I wanted to be the one to teach her that it would get better.  Instead, she reminded me …..that motherhood’s first months gouged a terrible pit in my heart. Becoming a mother was nothing like I’d anticipated.”

Now, I would like you to think about how PPD has impacted you. Has it been many years since you’ve had PPD and you find that you are still struggling with certain feelings of loss from having experienced PPD while trying to deal with the fact that there may be others around you who are like Gillian, seemingly filling the shoes of the so-called perfect mother?  Or have you completely come to terms with your experience, feel no regrets, only a sense that your experience with PPD has made you a stronger person, empowered with knowledge that you can use to help others (that’d be me)?  Or somewhere in between?

I think one of the keys lies in how your motherhood experience turned out relative to your expectations.  The larger the gap, the greater the sense of loss.  If you find that you are struggling with feelings of loss, please don’t take it the wrong way if I suggest you talk to a therapist experienced in treating moms with PPD.  It can do you a world of good to have someone help you process and cope with your feelings and experiences.

Let me end this post by saying that, for a good number of moms, their PPD experiences have motivated them to dedicate their lives to helping other mothers get through their PPD experiences, either by 1) becoming psychiatrists, psychologists, registered nurses, social workers, 2) forming PPD support groups or other not-for-profit organizations like Santa Barbara Postpartum Education for Parents, Postpartum Resource Center of NY, and MotherWoman, 3) blogging, like Katherine Stone’s Postpartum Progress, or 4) using other social media means to support mothers, like Yael Saar’s PPD to Joy and Lauren Hale’s #PPDChat on Twitter.

After all, we PPD survivors do share a common bond.  We know what it’s like to have PPD.   We understand.  We care. We are what is referred to on Twitter as the #PPDArmy!

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Just a brief check-in today. This was another very stressful week at work, though I did have a chance to take today off for my quarterly haircut and highlights.  I finally felt brave enough to ask my hairdresser to cut my hair to chin length…something I haven’t done since nearly 2 decades ago!  I feel like a new person!  It feels great!

However, I still have a couple personal matters that are causing me quite a bit of anxiety.  I am doing the best I can to keep the anxiety under control.  I am going to see my GI doctor on Monday to see what is causing all my esophageal discomfort.  Praying it’s nothing serious.  Still have very painful tendinitis in my right elbow, which my chiro refers quite logically to an occupational injury (i.e., computer overuse).

I have a few more posts lined up for the coming week.  The purpose of my brief check-in today is to point out that I added 2 photos to my post “Disturbing Teenage Trend….Hey, Stranger, Do You Think I’m Ugly or Pretty?”

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CONTEST (now until March 23, 2012, 12:00 AM CST): ***Win a $50.00 Target Gift Card!***

Are you a Mom? A Dad? A survivor of a Perinatal Mood or Anxiety Disorder? A friend or supporter of anyone who fits any of these descriptions? If so, please join us in spreading awareness of Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders and help us have a successful 5th annual Treating Moms Well Fundraiser!

Treating Moms Well was established in 2008 to create awareness about Pospartum Depression (PPD) and to raise funds to help women who would otherwise lack access to lifesaving PPD services.

To participate, follow these steps:

1. Think of a short sentence that describes how you felt in the early weeks and months of parenthood: e.g. “I felt overwhelmed and exhausted,” “I felt like my greatest dream had come true!”, or even “It felt like my whole life had been turned upside down and I didn’t recognize myself.” If you are not a parent and would like to share an observation in honor of someone you know (or you would like to share but remain anonymous), you can say tell us how you felt to see your friend/family member going through early parenthood. For example, you might say, “I felt so proud of the way she managed her stress.” “It felt like there was nothing I could do to stop her suffering.” “It felt like she could do things so effortlessly.” Please keep your statement in the “I felt/It felt” format.

2.Share this message with every one of your Facebook friends by clicking “Share” at the bottom of this post, and include your statement at the top. You can also cut and paste this as a message and send to all of your friends. The more you share this with your friends, the stronger your chance of winning!

3. Post your statement in the comment section directly below the Contest #1 Post on the Treating Moms Well Facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/TreatingMomsWell.  The commenter who receives the most “likes” wins the prize!

***Note: You do not have to live in the Chicago area to participate. Contest will expire on Wednesday, March 23rd at 12:00pm CST.

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I’m so excited about stumbling across this book titled “When My Mommy Cries” today via an article titled “There’s no one to blame: children’s book explains depression” in the Post-Standard.  Check out the article for more detailed information about the book, author, and upcoming book events.

Written by Crystal Godfrey LaPoint, it’s a book about a child living with depression…mommy’s depression, to be exact. The book comes with a CD that includes a recording of the book set to music, sheet music so young musicians or their parents can play the song themselves, and links to online mental health resources.  In the book, a little girl tries to understand her mommy’s sadness and the mommy reassuring her that it’s not her fault but it’s because of a condition called depression.  The mommy also reassures her child that she will always be there for her no matter what.  The age group this book is intended for children ages 6 to 12.

Crystal was inspired to write this book from her own experience both as a child of a depressed mother and a mother to 3 children while struggling with depression and anxiety. Thank you, Crystal, for publishing such a lovely book and joining the growing number of voices speaking up and breaking the silence that has existed around mental health.  We absolutely need to continue to hammer away the message that there is nothing to be ashamed about in terms of seeking help for depression.  It’s especially important to note that children of depressed parents are more likely to develop depression themselves.  In fact, this message is conveyed all throughout my own book.

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The purpose of this very brief post is to highlight an upcoming training opportunity on Monday, April 12th, from 6:30 AM-9:30 AM at the Daniel Webster Inn in Sandwich, Massachusetts, being provided by the Cape & Islands Maternal Depression Task Force.  This training workshop–entitled “Postpartum Depression — Screening and Treatment Methods for Medical Practitioners”– is being designed to help the various health care professionals that have the potential to see and treat patients with perinatal mood disorders (i.e., general practitioners, OB/GYNs, pediatricians, psychiatric nurses, midwives, psychiatrists) to recognize the risk factors and symptoms of and treatment of prenatal and postpartum depression (PPD).  The presenter is Jeanne Watson Driscoll, a board-certified clinical nurse specialist in psychiatric-mental health who provides psychotherapy and pharmacotherapy for women with mood and/or anxiety disorders through childbearing years and is a renowned author in these areas. I had the pleasure of meeting her at last year’s Postpartum Support International conference in Seattle.  One of the first books I read to become knowledgeable about the biology of perinatal mood disorders, Women’s Moods: What Every Woman Must Know About Hormones, the Brain, and Emotional Health, was written by her and Deborah Sichel.

The Cape & Islands Maternal Depression Task Force is comprised of representatives of different medical, mental health, social work, education, child care, and family support organizations–all of whom shared a concern over the fragmented–or what I refer to in my book as siloed–state of our health care system when it comes to the treatment of women suffering from perinatal mood disorders.  The overall concern shared by these organizations, which is what is spurring training initiatives such as the upcoming one on April 12th, is due to the overall lack of resources, knowledge, and mental health providers in the treatment of PPD.

Click here to read more about the task force.  For more information about the professional development training program or the task force, contact Mary Wilson at Cape Cod Child Development, 508-775-6240 ext. 512 or mwilson@cccdp.org.

Wouldn’t it be nice if there were task forces like this in each state throughout the country?  I KNOW that this is what is needed to ensure mothers suffering from a perinatal mood disorder will find the help they need when they need it.  As I reiterate throughout my book, a multidisciplinary approach is what is needed to treat an illness like PPD that has biopsychosocial roots.