Traditional Postpartum Practices Workshop – January 24-25, 2019

Come check out this special 2-day workshop that will teach you what a holistic after-birth recovery plan–one that is based on Malaysian traditions that have led to the lowest rates of postpartum mood and anxiety disorders (PMAD) in the world at 3%–should look like that is based on the world’s #1 postpartum healing practices.  In the United States PMADs occur in as many as 1 in 7, or 14% of new mothers. By the end of the training, you will know how to create an effective daily plan encompassing specialized nutrition, body massages, abdominal wraps, herbs, and other treatments to help a new mother’s body to recover in a stronger, faster and more balanced manner during the first 6 weeks postpartum.

During her many years living abroad in Malaysia, Valerie Lynn conducted extensive research on postpartum practices via the Ministry of Health, Traditional Complementary Medicine Department of the Malaysian government, as well as via interviews in hospitals and in the field.  She learned that the detailed and thorough care that is provided to new mothers during the first 44-days postpartum is unrivaled.  She witnessed firsthand how quickly mothers recovered from childbirth from the postpartum care they were provided.

Learn for yourself and/or to help other mothers reduce the amount of time needed to recover from childbirth!

When:
January 24-25, 2019 – options are to attend day 1 or both day 1 and day 2 (contact Valerie Lynn at valerie@postpregnacywellness.com for latest rates – there was a reduced rate of $157 as of 11/18/19).  Hurry, as seats are limited!

Where:  (Photo ID is required to enter)
Consulate General of Malaysia
313 E 43rd St
New York, New York 10017

To Register:
Please email valerie@postpregnacywellness.com for payment link.  Your full name, company name, address, and telephone are required.  Click here for more info.

How Corporations Can Help Employees:
Click here for more info.
About Valerie Lynn:
Author of The Mommy Plan (endorsed by many childbirth educational organizations and is listed as a choice of required reading for Postpartum Doula certification by the Childbirth and Postpartum Professionals Association (CAPPA)Valerie Lynn is an expert on employing a blend of the most effective eastern and western postpartum recovery practices to help new mothers through their physical and hormonal recovery from childbirth.  These practices have been proven to greatly reduce the amount of time needed for new moms to heal.  It was during her own 15-month experience with postpartum anxiety and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) after the birth of her son in 2007 that Valerie turned to traditional feminine healthcare to re-balance her post-baby hormones and heal herself naturally through herbs, massage and diet.  She was living in Malaysia at the time. Valerie has held positions such as Executive Director of the American Malaysian Chamber of Commerce and Principal of VLM Consultancy where she was provided strategic consultancy services for foreign companies entering the Malaysian and APEC markets.  She is part of the Board of Directors of the distinguished Malaysian NGO YASNITA, “Women’s Pathway to Success” where she serves as an International Advisor on Postpartum Recovery Practices. She is International Country (PSI) Volunteer Co-coordinator for Malaysia of Postpartum Support International, a global organization in 138 countries. She is a Board Member of the International Maternity Institute and the After Birth Project in the U.S. Valerie regularly contributes to articles, books, training programs. She aspires to improve the healing-care of new mothers in the United States and globally which, she believes, will reduce the high rates of postpartum depression. She is an approved speaker for Johnson & Johnson.

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New mothers with babies in the NICU are at increased risk of PPD

The motivation for this blog post is a Huffpost article that popped up in my Facebook feed yesterday titled “NICU Moms Are Struggling With Mental Health Problems–And They Aren’t Getting Help” by Catherine Pearson.  It happens to be from 4/13/2018, but I’m only seeing it now for the first time.

I have blogged about the many risk factors for PPD before.  One of the risk factors happens to be premature births.  Last time I blogged about premature births being one of the risk factors for PPD was 9 years ago.  So, I’m way overdue blogging about this topic again!

A new mother who was pregnant one minute–and expecting several more weeks of pregnancy–and suddenly giving birth and seeing your baby hooked up to machines is an overwhelmingly anxiety-provoking experience.  All new mothers are not only hormonal, exhausted and trying to recover from childbirth, but NICU mothers are also anxious about their babies, unwilling to leave their babies’ sides, and find it hard to eat, sleep or even talk to friends and family members who don’t fully understand what it’s like to have a baby in the NICU. Unable to touch, hold and feed her baby and instead seeing her tiny, precious baby hooked up to so many wires, it is natural for a NICU mother to be consumed with feelings of helplessness, distress and fear.  Each day, the NICU mother spends many hours each day at their baby’s side, pumping every few hours, and on high alert with respect to her baby’s breathing and the noises of the machines keeping her baby alive.

In the daily hustle and bustle of the nurses and doctors in the NICU, having them stop and ask the mother (and/or father) how they are holding up and making sure they are taking care of themselves and getting enough rest are not going to be at the forefront of their priorities, though you’d think it should be second nature for them to do so.  In fact, they are seldom trained to know what to ask.  Even if they did ask, there is an inadequate referral system in place to get help for a mother with a postpartum mood disorder.

“…[Studies have suggested that up to 70 percent of women whose babies spend time in the NICU experience some degree of postpartum depression, while up to one-quarter may experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.”  Simply put, a new mother’s risk of experiencing a postpartum mood disorder is very high.  And that is not surprising in the least.”

What should the screening entail?

I’ve previously blogged about and will repeat here that mothers should be assessed for postpartum depression (PPD) between 4-12 weeks postpartum.   She should be encouraged to have her six-week follow-up visit with her OB/GYN, provided she doesn’t complain about symptoms up to that point.  If she is symptomatic before the six-week visit, she should be screened right then.  If the 6-week screen doesn’t indicate PPD, she should be assessed once more at the 12-week point and also when she weans and when her period returns, since these events can trigger PPD in some women.

The following—in addition to screening tools like the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale or Cheryl Beck’s Postpartum Depression Screening Scale—should be asked at the six-week follow-up visit with the OB/GYN, which can help diagnose PPD:

1. Have you been feeling any of the following for the past 2 weeks:

  • Persistent and mostly inexplicable sadness/tearfulness and feeling empty inside
  • Loss of interest/pleasure in hobbies/activities you once enjoyed; inability to laugh
  • Overall impaired functioning
  • Sleep difficulties (either insomnia or sleeping too much)
  • Weight loss (usually fairly quick) associated with a decrease in appetite
  • Weight gain associated with an increase in appetite
  • Excessive worrying/anxiety/concern about the baby
  • Restlessness/irritability
  • Difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions
  • Onset of panic attacks
  • Sense of despair and/or hopelessness leading to thoughts of death/suicide

2. How have you been feeling physically and emotionally?

3.  How is your appetite?

4.  How are you sleeping?  Have you been able to get at least 4, if not 5, hours of sleep a night?

5.  Have you had any recurring thoughts/images that are disturbing?

 

If local resources for PPD are not readily available (though all hospitals around the country should have a list of local psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, registered nurses, PPD support groups on hand), the least they can do is provide a pamphlet for Postpartum Support International. Its website lists resources in every state.  And many states have already formed, or are in the process of forming, chapters to focus on state-specific efforts at advocacy, training, and other improvements.

If you are a new mom with a baby in the NICU, please, please, please remember that, though your attention is preoccupied with your baby, if you let your own strength and health go by the wayside, it is possible to succumb to a postpartum mood disorder.  Not everyone will succumb, but just remember the increased risk and higher occurrence among NICU moms.  Don’t forget to take care of yourself.  When your baby comes out of the NICU, you need to be strong and healthy to care for your baby.

 

 

Be the One Person Who Makes a Difference for Someone Else

My first blog post in over 4 months was only 2 days ago.  As you can see, I meant it when I said I would focus more on blogging!

Today’s post is inspired by a Scary Mommy article that appeared in my feed yesterday. The title of the article is “Am I Invisible? One Mom’s Pain-Relieving Response to Being Excluded” by Rachel Macy Stafford.  The title itself triggered my mind to flash back to many experiences of trying to befriend other mothers, only to have my attempts stopped dead in their tracks with the same kind of cold reaction mentioned in the first few paragraphs of this article.   I’ve hated–no, DESPISED– the feeling of being excluded since I was repeatedly excluded as a teen by these 3 C’s:  cliques, classmates and even fellow churchgoers.  Exclusions by teens is one thing.  But exclusions by adults?  Totally unacceptable, unnecessary, immature, inexcusable …..and quite simply, crappy.

As an adult, I have never had any problems striking up conversations with strangers I’ve never met before.  I have done that fairly often during the past 29 years of commuting into the city.  Usually, we are able to have these conversations due to our shared commuting woes.  That is our common bond.

In 2018, I made more new friends in my area in the one year than I have in the past 17 years combined.  As I’ve said in prior posts, I’ve found it challenging making friends in my area.  The friends I made last year arose from shared objectives of ensuring a #BlueWave this past November.  That was our common bond.

In 2016, I made more friends with classmates at my college reunion than when I was in college!  Being alums (without the stress of getting passing grades) was our common bond.

In 2006, I became a member of Postpartum Support International (PSI).  I blogged about our common bond previously in this blog post.

These are just some examples of how a common bond encourages friendships to form and conversations to be had even between strangers.  But that leads me to ask why a common bond of motherhood does not encourage friendships to form and conversations to be had even between strangers?  Why did the author of the Scary Mommy article experience the cold and mean exclusion that she experienced?  Why did I experience numerous cold and mean exclusions of countless mothers, even ADULT mothers of newborns, when we share a common bond of wading through unfamiliar territory together?

Doesn’t matter what the reason is, now does it?  Regardless of the reason–whether it be insecurity, pride or just plain nastiness–I would never do this to someone else.  It’s taken me a long time to piece it all together….the realization that such nasty behavior was actually a favor, as it instantly warned me not to waste any time.  In keeping with my philosophy “Life is too short for BS,” when I see people who–whether they know me or don’t know me yet–behave in a manner that is suggesting exclusion, I won’t waste my valuable time or energy on them.

In keeping with my philosophy of “Love, laugh and live a life with no regrets” I will take my experiences of people turning their backs on me and make sure I DO NOT treat others the way I DO NOT want to be treated myself.   I would NOT turn my back on someone who needed help, a listening ear and/or support.  I am not in the business of being on this earth to earn negative points in the karma area, TYVM.

I would:

  1. Help others who need help because, if the situation were reversed, I would want someone to offer me help
  2. Listen and provide comfort to others who need comforting because, if the situation were reversed, I would want someone to comfort me
  3. Support others who need support because, if the situation were reversed, I would want someone to support me

You know what they say about motherhood?  IT TAKES A VILLAGE.  Do what the Scary Mommy article suggests, which is to be the one person that makes a difference for someone else.  Imagine if everyone did that?  We would truly have a village!

The article urges us to each be the one that makes a difference for another, because all it takes is one person to help, listen/provide comfort to, and support someone else and help them realize they aren’t totally alone in this very-populated-and-yet-quite-lonely-at-times world.  How do we know the other person who’s coming to you for help, comfort or support isn’t in a dire situation?  How would you feel if you found out you could have made a difference by helping them, but was cold to them and there was a tragic outcome?

New mothers who are experiencing, or have experienced, a postpartum mood disorder share a common bond of loneliness, of feeling alone in our experience.  All it takes is one person to help another to not feel alone.  This is why so many new mothers have dedicated their lives to providing help/listening to/providing comfort to/supporting mothers suffering from postpartum mood disorders.  They want to give to someone what they did not receive while they were sick themselves.  Many, like me, did not get help, comfort or support.  Too many new mothers feel alone and for no reason at all.  There is no reason for a new mother to feel alone and at the end of their rope.

I will end with this beautifully-written poem in the Scary Mommy article:

With one invitation, we can take someone
From outsider to insider
From outcast to beloved member
From unknown neighbor to coffee companion
From wallflower to life-of-the-party
From shortened life expectancy to 80 years of joy.

I DO NOT want to have any regrets for not doing something when I had the opportunity.  Do you?

A New Year and Returning to Blogging

“Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.”
– Brad Paisley

I’ve seen this quote many new years past, but for some reason, it’s sticking with me more so now than ever before.  I haven’t blogged for over 4 months….the longest break since I started blogging in February 2009.  If you’ve been following my blog for some time, you may have noticed it’s been quiet over here and may have wondered if I’ve decided to call it quits.   Well, I’ve previously vowed I would never completely stop.  Blogging about maternal mental health will always be a passion of mine, as my experience 14 years ago has shaped me into the person I am now.  Blogging has also been a huge outlet for my thoughts and anger when I hear about our society’s shortcomings when it comes to maternal mental health.  As I’ve mentioned before, the anger that has fueled my passion has fizzled, and my anger has been directed toward the state of our government instead.  With my district’s Democratic nominee winning on November 6th and now with the House flipping blue (wooooot!!!!) this past Thursday,  I can breathe a sigh of relief and let go of some of my anger.

I’ve also been so busy at work that each day merges into the next and into the next with 10-hour days with no stops and often no lunch breaks……to the point that I’m feeling like my life is flashing before my eyes….and my daughter’s growing up so fast, she’s heading to HIGH SCHOOL this fall!  Plus, my parents and their health and other issues have been weighing heavily on my mind.

And so it comes to my latest philosophies, which are spin-offs of my long-time philosophy of “Just do it” and “Work hard, play hard.”

“Love, laugh and live life with no regrets”

and

“Life is too short for BS”

I don’t really take crap from anyone anymore.  I speak my mind.  I try to maintain work/life balance.  I’ve been trying to achieve more down time on weekends and each evening, trying to to sleep earlier and even squeezing in before bedtime a chapter or two of the bestseller “A Discovery of Witches” by my fellow Mt. Holyoke classmate, Deborah Harkness.   What more motivation do I have than the fact that the show is premiering in two weeks on Sundance Now?!  I’ve tried to see my parents more often.  I’m trying to do more with my daughter before she goes off to college and I <gulp> become an empty-nester. I’m trying to clean out loads of stuff I’ve been holding onto and just try to keep it simpler and less cluttered.  Cuz what am I going to do with stuff I’ve been hanging onto for years and don’t really need anymore?

Finally, as the new year begins, I would like to start up my blogging once more.  After all, I’m not used to not having my blog be one of the first blog resources that comes up when you search the terms “postpartum insomnia,” “can’t sleep when the baby sleeps,” etc.  Time to get to work and get to blogging again!

Why Screening of Postpartum Moms is Important and Who Can and Should Do the Screening

Today’s post was inspired by a March 19, 2018 NPR article by April Dembosky titled “Lawmakers Weigh Pros and Cons of Mandatory Screening for Postpartum Depression,” as well as a June 2018 Romper article by Karen Fratti titled “Moms Should be Screened for Postpartum Depression in the ER, New Study Suggests, & It Makes Perfect Sense,” a June 30, 2018 News Medical article titled “Screening mothers for PPD in emergency setting,” and a June 29, 2018 Austin360 article by Nicole Villalpando titled “Who should be screening moms for postpartum depression? More doctors now can.

Screening moms for postpartum depression (PPD) serves multiple purposes.  Screening will help ensure moms get the help they need and avoid suffering unnecessarily.  In case you weren’t aware, screening educates women on what PPD is, why it happens and just how common it is (1 in 7 new moms experience it), and helps them avoid what I and so many other mothers have gone through (PPD makes you feel alone, like you’re losing your mind and will never return to your previous self).  It will ensure fewer moms will ultimately fall through the cracks.  It will ensure fewer tragedies involving mothers and their babies.  And I’ve said this many times before, but a mother who is not well cannot care for her baby the way a healthy mother can.  This is pure logic.  Unfortunately, logic takes a back seat because our capitalist society places more priority on what benefits the pocket over what benefits the people’s well-being.

So…..question is WHO should screen new moms for PPD?

Her OB/GYN?  This should be a given, period, hands down, no questions asked!  In May 2018 the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommended that, in addition to the standard 6-week postpartum visit, OB/GYNs perform a follow-up visit within the first three weeks postpartum.  This new recommendation is due to the fact that symptoms of PPD often begin before the 6-week appointment.   See second half of my blog post on the issues many OB/GYNs are faced with in terms of screening.

Her baby’s pediatrician (but here the patient is the baby, not the mother)?  The American Academy of Pediatrics (click here and here) recommends doctors screen mothers for PPD when they bring their newborns in for wellness visits, since they occur numerous times in the baby’s first year; whereas, the mother only gets the one wellness check at postpartum week six.  Pediatricians who realize that the baby’s development can be negatively impacted when the mother is ill with PPD will try to screen the mom for PPD.  Problem is, most pediatricians as far as I’m aware are not prepared to screen and refer mothers since the mother is not a patient.

An ER physician?  While you will no doubt raise your eyebrows, doctors like Dr. Lenore Jarvis, an emergency medicine specialist with the Children’s National Emergency Department at United Medical Center in Washington, DC, have been seeing moms bring their babies to the ER, and it turns out the baby is fine but it’s the mother who is highly anxious and feeling overwhelmed.  In these cases, it’s logical to try to determine if it’s the mother who needs help.  In fact, Dr. Jarvis and several colleagues conducted a research study with several colleagues on screening moms for PPD in an ER setting.  A Eureka Alert release dated June 29, 2018 explains the results of the research study. Moms who participated were screened using the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale supplemented by other questions.  The great thing about the research study is that, when moms scored positive for PPD, they received information about PPD and were offered–or if they had a strong positive score from screening, they were required to have–a consultation with a social worker.  Additionally, the researchers followed up with mothers who screened positive one month later to see how they were doing.  This is akin to case management programs we have in place when patients check out of hospitals (I explain all this in my post below). Now THIS is the way it SHOULD be!

Dr. Jarvis refers to the ER as a “safety net  for people who are not routinely accessing regular checkups for themselves and their children. If a mother is having an acute crisis in the middle of the night and feeling anxious and depressed, they often come to the emergency department for help.”  Because American policymakers have been so resistant to instituting policies that would require insurance companies to work with doctors to ensure PPD is caught early through screening and subsequent referrals–researchers/subject matter experts on PPD are left to make recommendations for what Dr. Jarvis referred to as a “safety net” approach of having emergency rooms screen for PPD when moms come in either for their babies (for colic, fevers, etc.) or even for themselves (symptoms of a postpartum mood disorder).

While I agree we need to cover all bases and try to screen a new mother wherever and whenever possible, why do we even need to resort to waiting until a mom comes into the ER to screen them?  Why do we have to have such a safety-net, fall-back, beats-nothing-at-all, better-late-than-never approach in the first place?  Answer:  our society continues to place too much priority on conception and childbirth but once the baby is born, everyone forgets the mother.  Once the baby is born, the mother’s health falls by the wayside.  I’ve blogged about this before, but the attention from that point on will be on the baby from visitors who coo at the baby and treat the mother as invisible.  Same thing with doctor visits; the mother only gets one postpartum wellness check at 6 weeks.  That’s it.  It’s like the mother ceases to exist.  Whereas, other cultures have customs to honor and mother the mother (click here and here for past posts).  The birth of the baby is synonymous in these cultures with the birth of the new mother and they are honored for bringing new life into the world.  This, my friends, is why maternal mental health advocacy is so important.  Until American policymakers institute policies to demonstrate the importance of mothers and their health, we advocates must continue to act as “squeaky wheels to get the grease.”

The following section is an excerpt from my book.

New mothers, especially the ones at high risk for PPD, should be screened during their six-week postpartum visit, provided she doesn’t complain about symptoms up to that point. If she is symptomatic before the six-week visit, she should be screened right then. If the six-week screen doesn’t indicate PPD, she should be assessed once more at the twelve-week point—or when she weans or when her period returns, whichever comes first, since these events can trigger PPD in some women.

The following—in addition to screening tools like the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale or Cheryl Beck’s Postpartum Depression Screening Scale—should be asked at the six-week follow-up visit with the OB/GYN, which can help diagnose PPD:

  1. Have you been feeling any of the following for the past two weeks?
  • Persistent and mostly inexplicable sadness/tearfulness and feeling empty inside
  • Loss of interest/pleasure in hobbies/activities you once enjoyed; inability to laugh
  • Overall impaired functioning
  • Sleep difficulties (either insomnia or sleeping too much)
  • Weight loss (usually fairly quick) associated with a decrease in appetite
  • Weight gain associated with an increase in appetite
  • Excessive anxiety about the baby
  • Restlessness/irritability
  • Detachment from and inability to bond with the baby
  • Difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions
  • Feelings of guilt, inadequacy, failure and/or worthlessness
  • Urge to run away
  • Onset of panic attacks
  • Sense of despair and/or hopelessness leading to thoughts of death/suicide
  1. How have you been feeling physically and emotionally?
  2. Are you feeling particularly stressed, and, if so, is it due to a major change you are experiencing, such as marital problems, death of a loved one, financial problems, a recent move, or a job change?
  3. How do you feel about the baby? Are your feelings in line with your expectations of how you’d feel about the baby?
  4. Do you feel you have adequate emotional and practical support from your partner? Do you have any relatives or any other help, like a doula, to help you with the baby during the day?
  5. Are you breast-feeding and, if so, how is it going?
  6. How do you feel the labor and delivery went? Do you feel you experienced any sort of trauma during the delivery?
  7. Do you feel your childbirth and motherhood experience are meeting your expectations?
  8. Do you feel particularly anxious about your baby’s health (colic, SIDS)?
  9. How is your appetite?
  10. How are you sleeping? Have you been able to get at least four, if not five, hours of sleep a night?
  11. Have you had any recurring thoughts/images that are disturbing?
  12. How have you been adapting to motherhood, in general?
  13. Have you returned, or will you return, to work?

I believe these types of questions should be incorporated by all OB/GYNs throughout the country. This all theoretically sounds good and fine, but in most cases, OB/GYNs are not prepared to implement. Why not? At the very least, it would require training on perinatal mood disorders (recognition of symptoms and treatment), as well as ability to provide the right referrals as needed.

This last paragraph from my book excerpt remains true to this day.  Sad because I published my book in 2011.  Seven years later, things have not really changed.

California’s screening bill, AB 2193, has yet to pass the Senate and get signed into law.  Once passed, it would be an exciting development for mothers, as it doesn’t just require screening for PPD.  It requires health insurance companies to set up case management programs (same way my mother was assigned a case manager each time she had to stay overnight at a hospital to ensure she had a plan in place to address the issues that landed her in the hospital–i.e., physical therapy in a rehab center, visiting nurse to change her bandaging, etc.) to help connect moms who screen positive for PPD with a mental health practitioner.

Case management is set up to ensure there is a treatment/referral plan in place.  I sincerely hope that this means health insurance companies are prepared and able to carry out the new requirements.   And I sincerely hope that California will lead the way for other states to follow suit in setting up similar screening bills that will actually require health insurance companies to set up case management programs.

It goes without saying that screening moms for PPD serves no purpose if you can’t help those who test positive for PPD.  So far, as the first state that put mandatory screening in place, New Jersey has not had any reason to be excited ever since its initial groundbreaking “first-state-to-mandate-screening” announcement.  New Jersey, as well as 3 other states— Illinois, Massachusetts, and West Virginia — have tried mandated screening, and it did not result in more women getting treatment, according to a study published in Psychiatric Services in 2015.

A whopping 78% of those who screen positive don’t end up getting mental health treatment per a 2015 research review published in the journal Obstetrics & Gynecology.  Why have women in these states with mandatory screening not been getting treatment?  Well, for starters:

  1. Some obstetricians and pediatricians are afraid to screen for PPD because they are not equipped to refer.  But why is that?   Why is it hard for them to all rely on the resources available via Postpartum Support International?  Its website lists resources in every state.  And many states have already formed, or are in the process of forming, chapters to focus on state-specific efforts at advocacy, training, and other improvements.
  2. The resources to whom doctors (obstetricians, pediatricians, general practitioners, etc.) can refer mothers are limited, especially in more rural areas.  And in more rural areas, it’s harder to find mental health practitioners trained in prescribing meds to pregnant/breastfeeding women, let alone trained in treating moms with PPD.
  3. All too many mental health practitioners don’t take the woman’s insurance or there are significant limitations from an insurance coverage perspective.
  4. There’s a very long wait (several months) to see most mental health practitioners, especially for the first time….a woman in the throes of PPD can’t afford to–both literally (from a cost perspective) and figuratively (from a life & death perspective).
  5. There’s little incentive financially, thanks to insurance companies’ lack of adequate coverage for doctors who do such screening…..in my opinion, screening should be done at the standard 6-week postpartum checkup and therefore covered as part of that checkup.

Attention, American policymakers….our mothers are worth it.  I mean, we make such a big stink about fetuses and unborn babies in this country, let’s start thinking bigger picture, shall we?  Without mothers, there would be no babies to conceive and bring into this world.  Let’s start treating mothers less like second-class citizens and more like human beings who deserve to be able to give birth to and care for their babies without getting sick with PPD and possibly dying in the process!

 

I Can Understand How the Despair from PPD Can Cause a Mother to Want to End Her Life

As a preface to this post, I’d like to share an excerpt from my book that reflects how the pain from postpartum depression (PPD) can fill a mother with so much despair and hopelessness–especially when she doesn’t know what is happening and why, and that there is a cure for whatever it was that is causing her to feel/behave/think the way she is feeling/behaving/thinking–that she would want to end her life.

One too many times, I gave Ed a miserable look and told him how scared I was that I didn’t know what was going on with me and I was afraid that I’d never get better. There would be tears in my eyes but I couldn’t cry. Most of the time, he didn’t know what to say. It was way after I had fully recovered from PPD that Ed finally admitted that he had feared I would never get well, never return to my old self, and never appreciate watching [our daughter] grow up.

Each day, I’d stand by a window, staring out at the snow and pleading for God to help me get through all this. I’d say over and over again, “Please, God, please help me get through this. My baby and husband need me … help me to be strong!” It was difficult for me to focus on any tasks. Often I’d sit there in the kitchen by myself or stand in the middle of a room, unsure of what to do next or not wanting to do anything at all. I felt like staying in bed all day long or in a tight ball hiding in a corner, rocking myself for comfort, but I couldn’t because I had to take care of [my baby]. During that time, I tried my best to interact with [my baby], to play with her, and talk to her.

…….. I thought I was never going to get better, I wasn’t going to be able to go back to work, and I wasn’t going to ever be well enough to take care of the baby. I just wanted to shrivel up into a tiny ball and disappear. I couldn’t bear the thought I was going to be like this for the rest of my life.

Although I never thought about actually ending my life, I constantly thought about disappearing because I just wanted all the misery to end.  And I most certainly couldn’t imagine staying in my PPD state for the rest of my life.  So it’s a good thing my PPD was cured when it was, as I’m not sure how much longer I would have lasted.  I have heard many other mothers who suffered from PPD that thought about disappearing as well.  I have also heard a few instances of mothers thinking about taking their own lives and/or actually attempting suicide.  Each time I hear these stories, it makes me feel more committed than ever to continue blogging and trying to reach people who are struggling with PPD.

I’ve been wanting to share a couple of important articles about suicide as the second leading cause of death for women in the postpartum period….one article is from last June and the other is from 3 months ago.

The one from 3 months ago (5/2/2018) was written by Catherine Pearson on Huffington Post titled “Suicide is a leading cause of suicide for new moms but awareness is low.”  The article focuses on the story of Kari who died by suicide back June 2010.  Kari’s sister, Karla, shared the story to try to educate other mothers on how deadly PPD can be. Like some of the other stories I’ve shared on this blog, Kari’s family was unaware of how bad her PPD was until it was too late.  Her family was getting her ready to move in with them to help her out until she felt better, but never had a chance to do so.   Within 4 weeks of giving birth, she died by suicide.  Her condition had quickly gone from giving birth to not being able to sleep (what happened to me) to feeling super anxious to wanting to harm herself.  The day before she was going to see a doctor about her condition, she died by suicide.

The one from last June (6/5/2017) was written by Gina Louis for Medium titled “The Night Postpartum Depression Almost Killed Me.” This is the story of a new mother who, after struggling with feelings of inadequacy and feeling a failure of a mother and wife that her children and husband would be better off without, she planned to take her own life one night.  She was going to let the dark hole of despair swallow her up.  But she thankfully didn’t carry it out that night.  She got help.  She is now, like me, a survivor speaking up and trying to help others realize that PPD can be overcome with the right help.  As my experience has made me feel stronger and more confident than before, her experience has made her feel stronger and more confident than before.

What Kari’s sister and Gina Louis are trying to do by sharing these stories is to educate folks on how deadly PPD can be and how quickly things can become deadly.  PPD is a serious condition that can lead to tragic consequences quickly.  If you or someone you know is suffering from PPD, please seek/get them to seek treatment asap.

For a country that is so advanced in medicine and technology, we must ask ourselves why American mothers don’t have enough access to, or education about, maternal mental health treatment and why American policy makers can’t do more to address the stubbornly high rates of pregnancy-related death and pregnancy-related suicides, which account for one in five postpartum deaths.

If you or someone you know needs help, call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
You can also text HOME to 741-741 for free, 
24-hour support from the Crisis Text Line.
Outside of the U.S., please 
visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention for a database of resources.

Dads Do Get PPD Too

I haven’t blogged about this important topic–of dads getting postpartum depression (PPD) too–since 2012, so it’s high time I do so now as I’m catching up during my stay-cation!

My previous posts are:
Fathers and Postpartum Depression
A Father’s Day Post: The Effect of PPD on the Dad
Shame on You, The Guardian, for Perpetuating Negative Notions on Mental Health Issues and Denigrating Men at the Same Time

In today’s post, I have a bunch of articles, and even a recent Today Show segment about PPD in dads, that I’d like to share.  PPD in dads is not a topic that you see much of because, after all, it’s the new mother whose body goes through a lot of physical changes before, during and after pregnancy.  After all, she’s the one who carries the child for months and after giving birth experiences roller coaster emotions, thanks to all the hormonal changes.  It’s bad enough that PPD is still so misunderstood (and what comes with lack of knowledge/understanding is stigma) in women, but the scoffing that men face when they find themselves suffering from PPD is even worse.

Men can and do experience depression after a child’s birth.  Risk factors include a personal history of depression, a wife that has PPD, a baby with health issues, colicky baby, first-time fatherhood and uncertainties due to inexperience, stress at work, etc. I personally know someone who experienced it briefly after the birth of his first daughter, and he was fortunately able to avoid it after his second daughter was born.

The Today Show that aired on August 3rd focused on the story of Dr. David Levine, a pediatrician who also happened to be a new father who suffered from PPD.  Dr. Levine, who talks about his experience with PPD, is accompanied by subject matter expert, Dr. Catherine Birndorf (psychiatrist and co-founder of The Motherhood Center) whom I’ve met previously at a Postpartum Support International conference, and Erika Cheng (assistant professor of pediatrics at Indiana University School of Medicine).

 

This is not, by the way, the first time the Today Show has focused on PPD in men.  On July 1, 2015, there was a very good article on it titled “Not just moms: postpartum depression affects 1 in 10 new fathers.” The article features the experience of Mark Williams, founder of  Fathers Reaching Out and Dads Matter UK.  The article also features information about PPD in fathers by subject matter expert Dr. Will Courtenay, who founded Postpartum Men.

On August 11, 2018, I spotted a CBC (Canada) article about PPD in men titled “New dads show signs of postpartum depression too, experts say.”

On May 19, 2017, I spotted a Deadspin article titled “A Q&A with Tony Reali About Postpartum Depression and Anxiety in Dads.” I know this article is a bit old….I have had this article up for the past 15 months!  I told you I had a lot of catching up to do!  Tony Reali is the host of ESPN’s Around the Horn.