Free Webinar: Bringing Light to Postpartum Depression and PMAD

Once again, I’m piggybacking off of my last 2 posts about the Postpartum Resource Center of New York by sharing this great opportunity I learned from this post I just spotted on my Facebook feed for all who care for / about new mothers and their postpartum well being to learn about postpartum mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs), treatments, resources, and how loved ones can help.

PMADs are experienced by 1 in 5 mothers.  What better way to spread awareness than this FREE webinar!  We need more of these opportunities to combat stigma and ensure as many people are educated as possible, as there are still way too many people whose job it is to care for mothers that don’t accurately identify PMADs and get them the help they need.  With more awareness, we will chip away at stigma.  We will ensure fewer mothers suffer alone and in silence.  We will ensure fewer mothers and children suffer the consequences of undiagnosed/untreated PMADs.

When:  Wednesday, May 2, 2018 from 8:00pm – 9:00 pm
Who:  Sonia Murdock (Exec. Director of the Postpartum Resource Center of New York) and Bridget Croteau (St. Joseph’s College NY alumna; Mrs. Suffolk County America 2017-18)
Cost:  It’s absolutely free, and open to the public!
Registration:  Click here to sign up. If you can’t make it to the live session, no problem!  You can access a recording, provided you register.
For more info:  Contact Taryn Kutujian at tkutujian@sjcny.edu

Please spread the word about this!  Share WIDELY on social media!

 

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Sounds of Silence 10th Annual Run/Walk – May 12, 2018

Piggybacking off my last post from 4 days ago in which I blogged about the Lisa Mary Reilly Visioning Education Series, today I would like to invite folks who live in the Tri-State area to join the Sounds of Silence, Friends of the Postpartum Resource Center of New York’s 10th annual run/walk in memory and celebration of Lisa Mary Reilly and help raise funds in the effort to increase awareness of perinatal mood disorders, such as postpartum depression (PPD), postpartum OCD, and postpartum psychosis.  Not only is this for an excellent cause, it will be a nice opportunity to race (or walk) a beautiful 5K boardwalk along the Atlantic Ocean.

I have posted about this annual run/walk every year since the first fundraiser back in 2009.  That year, I was one of the two top fundraisers, bringing in over $1,000 (as an individual).  This annual fundraiser was started back in 2009 by sisters Erin Mascaro and Lisa Reilly. It was Lisa’s experience with PPD after the birth of her daughter–an experience so deeply painful and full of suffering (a suffering that many others like her feel forced to endure in silence) that was witnessed by Erin and other loved ones–that motivated Erin and Lisa to break the silence of PPD with the Sounds of Silence annual run/walk .

Please help spread the word about this fundraiser by blogging or sharing the flyer on Facebook/Twitter.

Sponsors Needed:  They are looking for sponsors, so companies looking for opportunities to support a wonderful cause that benefits mothers and their families should seriously consider this opportunity!  Click here for more info.

Date:  Saturday, May 12, 2018

Time:  Registration from 8:00-9:00; race/walk begins at 9:30 AM.  There will be a Kids Fun Run, Raffles, Food and more.

Place:   Jones Beach State Park, Wantagh, Long Island (Field 5)

Registration:  $25 (adults); $15 (ages 11-18); $5 (ages 10 and under); register here.  Registration price increases after May 5th.

Virtual Participation:  For those of you who can’t make it in person, you can participate virtually by registering via this link.

What first 250 entrants and first 500 registrants will receive:  First 250 entrants will receive commemorative t-shirts, and first 500 registrants (on day of) will receive race swag bags.  There will be a post-race raffle for prizes that include gift baskets, gift certificates, etc.  All who raise $200+ will receive a Sounds of Silence beach towel.

50/50 Fundraiser:  For the first time, there will be a 50/50 Fundraiser to benefit the Postpartum Resource Center of New York.  The drawing will take place during the After Party at Fatfish Wine Bar and Bistro, Bay Shore, NY.  Only 300 raffle tickets will be sold.   All proceeds from this raffle will be shared equally between the winner of each prize and the Postpartum Resource Center of New York, Inc.  Click here for more info. 

All proceeds will go towards supporting the important services the Postpartum Resource Center of New York, Inc., a 501(c)3 non-profit organization (tax ID #11-3449880), provides to new mothers and their families.  To learn more about its services, go to:  http://postpartumny.org.

Traumatic Childbirth: The Ever-Widening Ripple Effect

Piggybacking off of my last blog post “Mother May I?” – An Important Documentary About Childbirth Trauma 2 days ago, I wanted to make folks aware about a childbirth-trauma-related event that I spotted on my Facebook feed today.

LMR Visioning Educational Series 2017

Sonia Murdoch, Jane Honikman, and me

The Lisa Mary Reilly Visioning Educational Series hosts an annual event in collaboration with the Postpartum Resource Center of New York.  Last year, I attended the event that took place in Manhattan and featured Jane Honikman, founder of Postpartum Support International.

This year’s event will be co-hosted by The Rochester Postpartum Wellness Coalition and will take place on Thursday, May 3, 2018, from 11:00 am-2:00 pm, at the Rochester Academy of Medicine, Rochester, NY.  The guest speaker of this event will be Cheryl Tatano Beck, DNSc, CNM, FAAN. She a Distinguished Professor at the University of Connecticut School of Nursing.  Dr. Beck serves on the editorial boards of 4 journals and has published over 150 scientific articles as well as 4 books.  The title of her presentation is Traumatic Childbirth: The Ever Widening Ripple Effect.   Click here to find out more about the event and to buy tickets, which are $50 each and includes lunch.

My wish is for every medical professional that treats mothers–from OB/GYN doctors and their staff to maternity ward staff, emergency room staff, midwives, doulas, and family doctors/general practitioners, as well as mental healthcare practitioners–were required to take this kind of training regardless of where they are located. This means this kind of training should be replicated and hosted in every major city in every state.  Until then, we are going to continue to have medical/mental healthcare professionals fail to realize the connection between traumatic childbirth and postpartum mood disorders.

We need to emphasize the importance of care for mothers just as much as people emphasize the importance of care for babies.  As I’ve said before, it just seems so obvious that, once a mother gives birth to a baby, all the attention goes to the baby and its care and the mother falls by the wayside.  Hello, she just carried a child for 9 months and had to give birth! Her body goes through extreme physical changes, including hormonal upheaval.   Any complications that occur during childbirth can increase the chance of a postpartum mood disorder to occur.  The ONLY view that matters on how a childbirth went should be is the new mother’s view on her childbirth experience.  If she feels like it was a God-awful experience, we need to respect, acknowledge and try to understand her feelings.  We should never pooh pooh her experience.  We should never assume her feelings are what you think they ought to be.  A new mother’s experience is her experience, period.

Let’s care more about how a mother views her childbirth experiences.
Let’s care about the kind of care she receives during childbirth.
Let’s care about how she envisions her childbirth to go.
Let’s care about how she feels about breastfeeding.
Let’s care about how anxious she feels about taking care of the baby.
Let’s care about her enough that when she seems to not be herself, we get her the help she needs.
Let’s care enough to realize that about 20% of new mothers experience a postpartum mood disorder that usually starts within the first 4-6 weeks postpartum but can happen up to a year and may be triggered by weaning.
Let’s care about her feelings, bottom line.

 

 

 

“Mother May I?” – An Important Documentary About Childbirth Trauma

A couple of days ago, a link to the Kickstarter project for the documentary “Mother May I” popped up on my Facebook feed, and it instantly caught my eye (and yes, I am one of the many backers and sincerely hope they meet their financial goal in 30 days, so please consider backing too….even $10 would help!).  Why did it catch my eye?  Because I had a traumatic childbirth experience that was the beginning of an agonizing postpartum depression (PPD) journey.  I didn’t have the awareness needed for me to advocate for myself.  There were no patient advocates anywhere along my PPD journey.  I didn’t have anyone to talk to about my experience.  I didn’t have a means of validating what I experienced.  I was in the dark.  I had to learn the hard way.  This is why I blog, why I wrote my book, and why I look for ways to help others and to try to get the word out and raise awareness so fewer mothers will be blindsided the way I was.

About one-third of new mothers describe their childbirth experiences as traumatic, but you hardly ever hear about negative experiences because everyone wants to be like “everyone else” and happily announce that “mother and baby are doing well.”  No one wants to admit to having a negative childbirth experience, just like no one wants to hear about a negative childbirth experience.  And that is why everyone thinks childbirth experiences aren’t that big a deal. I had previously blogged about negative childbirth experiences via my blog post titled “Forget the Myths, Here are the Realities of Pregnancy, Childbirth and Postpartum Experiences.” It was one of my first blog posts.   The difference between my traumatic childbirth experience and the ones that are the focus of this film is that the ones in the film, like the one experienced by Caroline Malatesta, involve obstetric assault that resulted in both physical and emotional harm to the mother.  That is much, much worse than what I experienced.

What has been completed thus far is 20 hours of footage of interviews of more than 15 experts (including a birth doula, a labor & delivery nurse and psychologist who specializes in posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and survivors of birth trauma.  My plan is to reach out to the Birth Monopoly Foundation folks behind this documentary–including Caroline Malatesta, President, whose own birth trauma story is the impetus behind and featured in this film–and make sure they include the connection between negative childbirth experiences and maternal mental health disorders like PPD.

If you’ve been following my blog for some time, you know that passion for public awareness is one of my focal points.  I am particularly excited to see that funds from the Kickstarter project will help fund online campaigns to provide free information about birth trauma, resources, and legal rights. It will also help fund college outreach initiatives to help get the film (plus guided discussion) into 1,000 college classrooms around the country.  I believe there is no better time to present such information to teens than in colleges.   Colleges are a great way to reach numerous young people at once.  Speaking of which, I had envisioned doing a book reading of my book at my alma mater when it first came out, but I didn’t get very far.  My school is an all-women’s school and what better place to reach so many women at once about PPD!  But my idea didn’t get much interest.  Perhaps I wasn’t reaching out to the right people.   Perhaps I will try again there….and in other colleges as well.

To follow Birth Monopoly on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/birthmonopoly 

 

Playing Monopoly with God – New York City Performances!

I am super excited to share the news that “Playing Monopoly With God” is coming to New York City! (Unfortunately, I won’t be able to make it due to prior commitments).

“Playing Monopoly With God” is an amazing, one-woman play.  Melissa Bangs is the talented and passionate actress behind this play.

Her mission is to share her experience and in so doing, spread awareness on what it’s like to be one of the 20% of new mothers who suffer from postpartum mood disorders and encourage mothers to share their experiences.

Melissa has been touring for 4 years putting on 37 shows—including sold-out shows in Seattle and Los Angeles– reaching nearly 5000 people

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

Postpartum Support International presents:

Playing Monopoly with God & Other True Stories
Hilarious. Heart-wrenching. Human. 
A true tale of childbirth, madness and the journey home.
LIVE. NONFICTION. STORYTELLING. PERFORMANCE.
 
TICKETS ON SALE NOW!!! MAY 17th – 20th

Evening
 Performances – 6PM Doors – 7PM Performance
THE RATTLESTICK THEATRE @ 224 Waverly Place, New York, New York
Thursday, May 17th – Live Performance followed by a PSI Gala Event at Bobo NYC ($175)
Friday, May 18th – Live Performance w Wine, Cheese and Panel Discussion ($75)
Saturday, May 19th – Live Performance (also to be webcast) ($45 in-person)
and a Mimosa Matinee…
Sunday, May 20th – 1PM Doors/2PM Show ($45)
 
In September 2012, at 40 years old, Melissa Bangs gave birth to her beautiful daughter Adelaide.  A month later, dramatically hormone depleted and sleep deprived, Melissa is admitted to the Providence Psychiatric Facilities in a complete manic state.  After nearly a month, she is sent home with a bipolar diagnosis and on lithium.  What comes next is an extraordinary journey.
 
On her path back to wholeness, one of the things Bangs did was read her entire 100 plus page hospital record.  Somewhere, around page 87, there is a nurse’s note that looks as if it were scribbled late at night after a long shift.  It reads, “Patient says she will do comedy on this experience.”  Upon reading this, Bangs laughed out loud.  
 
The psych team couldn’t have possibly known that Bangs has been a storyteller her entire life and did comedy for a stint, as a student, at the Upright Citizens’ Brigade in New York City.  They couldn’t have known that transforming details from the most painful experience of her life into a room full of laughter would prove healing for so many.
 

Join Postpartum Support International for an evening of storytelling full of bewilderment, chaos and hilarity.  Bangs has a knack for telling true stories that cut to the bone of our shared, vulnerable human condition. Her true gift, however, comes in the moments in which she’s able to strip away the shame or agony of an experience and transform the room into an uproar of laughter.

Postpartum Pain – by Stacy M.

Thank you, Stacy, for once again sharing your gift of poetry on my blog.

Just eight months old
Lost and confused
Mommy had to go

As tears flowed
From tired eyes
I drove

Clenched the wheel
Held on tight
The most important
Ride of my life

Surrendered all my
Postpartum pain
I told them all
To please go on
Without me

I just couldn’t
Breathe
Or eat
Or see
Anything
In front of me
I felt like
Disappearing

I wasn’t sure
If I could go on
I was drifting
So far
And sinking
So fast

Fearing
Everything
And everyone
Blindsided
By the panic
And the pain
I thought for sure
The old me
Was gone
Long gone and
For good

All the fear
Abruptly
Turned my world
Pitch black

I wasn’t sure
If I could
Ever find
My way back
Or my old self
I was desperate
For help

Postpartum pain
Makes you lose
Your way
And your grip
Makes reality
Start to slip

It can rob you
Of your dreams
It’s deceiving
Gets you believing
That nobody
Not even yourself
Or your new baby
Or this life
Needs you

In all the darkness
That surrounded me
I was a tiny shadow
Of myself
Not even

Did anyone see
I was not okay
Did I really hide it
All too well
Who was in denial more
Me or my community
Why do we pretend
It will never make
Any sense

Just those few years ago
I stood at the edge
Ready to give up
The fight
Of a life I worked
So hard for
I had a home
With a husband
And children I adore
In a moment
I could have lost it all

My knees were buckling
In a flash I suddenly
Could not understand
What it was I was living for

Prisoner of my own mind
Paranoid of the judgment
Overwhelmed
Run down
Unsteady from
The incision that
Still felt so raw
Stitches barely
Holding me together
The healing felt like
Forever

Postpartum pain
Postpartum pain

Oh how thankful
Of where we are now
My little girl sleeping on me
All snugly and sound
As I still pick up all the pieces
Of that horrific transition

Postpartum pain
Postpartum pain

Will make you never the same

Postpartum Depression Doesn’t Look the Same Across the Board

I always try to keep up with the multitude of articles that feature Karen Kleiman, MSW, LCSW, founder of The Postpartum Stress Center and author of numerous books on perinatal mood disorders.  This particular article from October 4, 2017, titled “Postpartum Depression May Look More Like Anxiety Than Sadness” that appeared on Well and Good, by Annaliese Griffin,  caught my attention.  It caught my attention because it’s because when my doctor told me 13 years ago that I had postpartum depression (PPD), I didn’t believe him.  I thought “How could I be depressed if I’m not even sad?”  He explained that depression could manifest as anxiety, but did I understand that at the time?  Nope. Little did I know that I was about to embark on a journey to discovering what PPD really was….that it’s a catch-all term that encompasses all postpartum mood disorders, which includes postpartum anxiety, postpartum OCD, and postpartum psychosis.  That my PPD caused insomnia, weight loss, loss of appetite, and being a shell of a person unable to enjoy anything, and unable to pretty much do anything.  I was so concerned about my baby’s cradle cap and eczema and her bowel movement/feeding schedules that, by the time her colic came and went at my 6th week postpartum, PPD set in and I had no idea what was happening to me.

This article is very important because the number of women suffering from postpartum mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) is pretty common.  And I should know because of the number of hits I get on my blog for the symptoms that I experienced.  So, if it’s been over 3-4 weeks since you had your baby and if you are feeling anxious, unable to sleep even when the baby sleeps and unable to function and enjoy things you’re normally able to enjoy (like listening to music), having moments of rage, having panic attacks, and/or having obsessive and even scary thoughts, please go the Postpartum Support International (PSI) website to seek help near you.  You are not alone, there is nothing to feel ashamed of, and you will get better with the right help.  Do not be afraid to ask for and accept help.

Jessica Porten’s story went viral a week ago because she admitted to the nurse at her OB/GYN office that she was experiencing feelings of anger, and that admission was unfortunately not handled correctly.  This, my friends, is why I have been blogging for the past nearly 9 years.  My mission is to help spread awareness and in so doing dissipate the stubborn stigma that refuses to go away because there is still so much ignorance about PPD.  My mission is to also help mothers as much as I can to get the help they need.  Anger/rage is another way that PPD can manifest for some mothers.  Everyone’s PPD experience is unique to that person because we are all complex people that– when emotions, temperaments, hormones, heredity, childbirth experience, and history come together–symptoms manifest differently from one person to the next.  Symptoms can range from feelings of sadness to anxiety, anger and even rage to insomnia, sleeping too much, lack of appetite, eating too much, obsessive/intrusive thoughts, etc.  As such, treatment of these moms will vary from one mother to the next.  Some moms need medication. Some moms need therapy.  Some moms need a combination of medication and therapy.  The duration of treatment will vary as well.  But there is one thing in common among all mothers suffering from PPD:  they need help.  They don’t need to be treated the way Jessica Porten was treated.  They don’t need to be treated like I was treated 13 years ago.

Erica Chidi Cohen, a doula and co-founder and CEO of  Loom in Los Angeles attributes postpartum anxiety to first-time mothers feeling uncertain and anxious about going through childbirth and taking care of a baby for the first time. It is more common than you think for first-time mother to feel anxious but when the anxiety morphs beyond worry to insomnia, lack of appetite, etc. is when medical attention is needed.  A traumatic childbirth experience increases the chances for a new mother to experience PPD.

Click here to visit Kleiman’s The Postpartum Pact. It is an important postpartum toolkit for expectant mothers and their partners and loved ones to review before baby’s arrival.  It truly pays to be prepared, regardless of whether you think you may be at risk for PPD or not.  One never knows, as I have said in prior blog posts and in my book, whether something may happen during pregnancy/childbirth that could lead to PPD.  It can’t hurt to review the pact and prepare to have folks lined up to help once baby arrives to ensure the new mother has adequate practical support, especially if this is her first baby or if she has another little one(s) to take care of already.

Speaking of adequate support, it’s organizations like Loom in Los Angeles and Whole Mother Village  in W. Orange, NJ — two examples of many childbirth, pregnancy, and reproductive wellness communities that have sprouted around the country to provide support, information, referrals and services from preconception to parenthood– that are critical because it takes a village when it comes to a family’s well-being.  Going it alone is not a viable option nowadays, especially when the significant other needs to work to support the family and the new mother is not well and family members are not close by and/or are too busy to provide emotional and practical support.  It really is no wonder there are so many cases of PPD.  Please see my past posts about the importance of mothering the mother and how it takes a village to minimize the occurrence of PPD here and here.